Wife doesn't love me anymore

Considering that this situation is mostly her dumping you because you would not give her acceptance of her drug habit and her using you like a doormat for years which means she can't respect you, it seems somewhat unfair.

Reading back I can see you were given good advice from over a year ago but you failed to grasp it.

Redundancy is an opportunity for a new start.

I am glad you have agreed to 50/50 on the kids, hopefully you will both agree to never denigrate each other to the kids no matter what, nor to argue in their earshot.

The one thing I think you should both reconsider is the house.

Renting the house will be in both of your interests, not only will you be able to pay off the Mortgage faster but you will have a higher value asset to sell later. Make sure you do it propertly, visit the Landlord forums for advice, mostly it is insurance, tenant referening, boiler insurance and protecting their deposit that are the most important, oh an do not leave them anything more than a Fridge freezer and cooker or they will expect you to replace when they break them (use freecycle).

You need to both move out ASAP, get yourself into something, it does not matter what and get that place rented on the basis that all income goes to the mortgage and overheads of renting. Treat it like a business, remove the emotion from it.

You need to reinvent yourself, you may need to study something while you are off work, get yourself a girlfriend or just some new friends, do some volunteering for local charities, see that there are many people worse off than you.

Scorpio33 wrote: »

Update:
- House is on the market Splitting the equity 50/50 once sold.
- Splitting kids time equally once we move out
- I'm being made redundant
- Due to redundancy and her not earning enough, both looking to go into rented (at least short term)
- I'm in counselling for depression and anxiety

So yeah, things not improved yet, hopefully once the house is sold things will get better.

Well they can find a way to not need the "help"

He talks of renting for the time being, so clearly has aspirations to buy again.

It is all about having a goal, if you keep the house and rent it out it will help your credit when buying another.

Everyone I have spoken to who has sold their property regrets it, many have never been able to get back on the property ladder.

A friend of mine lives as a lodger, has his property let out and puts all spare cash he can into mortgage, it is the best way to save.

Granted in this situation there are two parties but both need to realise that it is better they put themselves on sure footing and rent so that the property can be worth something proper for them both.

At some point one party may want to buy the other out.

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Not every good decision has to be financially good!

Some irony coming from someone calling themself "BrassicWoman"

They will both end up Brassic if they sell up NOW, they need to take the emotion out of it and make it an joint investment.

mbmonty wrote: »

Some irony coming from someone calling themself "BrassicWoman"

They will both end up Brassic if they sell up NOW, they need to take the emotion out of it and make it an joint investment.

Selective quoting there, BW's post in it's entirety is sound advice:

BrassicWoman wrote: »

renting = another tie to someone you don't want to be tied to

IMO tough enough managing round the kids without adding more grenades

Not every good decision has to be financially good!

If I was in the OPs position I definitely wouldn't want to further complicate an already difficult seperation by entering into a business partnership with my ex. Being in negative equity is the only situation where I would even consider this but the OP has already stated this isn't the case (they'll split the equity 50/50).