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    • DestinyGamer
    • By DestinyGamer 9th Jan 19, 7:30 PM
    • 49Posts
    • 551Thanks
    Unemployment seems to entitle people to your life!
    • #1
    • 9th Jan 19, 7:30 PM
    Unemployment seems to entitle people to your life! 9th Jan 19 at 7:30 PM
    What is it about being unemployed that people, especially family, think they can impose their ideas of what you should be doing with your life on you?

    Iíve got a huffy BF who thinks Iím just sitting about at home living off his money for the hell of it. A mum whoís on another planet and thinks I should re-train as a teacher of all things, like it easy. A sister who insists I should apply to work in her field of work despite never having done a day in my life.

    At this point in my life Iím too broke to re-train and too old to do an apprenticeship,yet apparently over-qualified for basic min wage jobs, while not getting interviews for the levels I am trained at. Having everyone else push their opinions on me is not helping my mental wellbeing. I know they mean well but they donít realise how belittling it is and how pathetic I feel not being able to secure employment. I actually feel pretty useless not being able to pay my own way, like my independence has been stripped away and left me stark naked in plain view of everyone. I had to come off social media becuase everyone asking if I had a job yet was really getting to me.
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    • bhompy
    • By bhompy 13th Jan 19, 12:04 AM
    • 182 Posts
    • 1,932 Thanks
    Sympathies for you! And especially agree with the entitlement to your life, but perhaps a different side to the story...

    I took a break off work 4m ago as I started having medical issues (done 14 blood tests, xrays, ultrasounds - got another form for further 11 vials of blood test next week) - I had enough saved and still haven't claimed benefit (nor intend to).

    I live with older family acquaintance who I address as aunt (I haven't explicitly told about doc and hospital visits) whom I pay weekly for rent / bills / food and she always finds a way to nag about unemployed situation - or assign me chores and supermarket/PO/bank runs as I am 'free'. Genuinely don't mind helping where/when I can, but I do feel like she has some entitlement to my life/time as I am not employed.

    All this after her son has been sitting home unemployed for 7 years...who will not even take his fully laundered pile to own room/has a car.
    Last edited by bhompy; 13-01-2019 at 12:07 AM.
    • Tarambor
    • By Tarambor 13th Jan 19, 12:10 AM
    • 4,708 Posts
    • 3,619 Thanks
    Being unemployed should be a citizens right in my opinion, we should have the right to opt out and select it as a lifestyle choice.
    Originally posted by amcg100
    Absolutely fine but you should not be entitled to money people's wages in the form of benefits if you do. Why do you think you should be entitled to my money that I've grafted hard for in one of the most dangerous jobs in the UK, doing up to 15hrs a day out in all weathers and all times of the day and night?

    I have no problem helping people who can't work and who want to work but can't find work but I absolutely no way in hell have any intention of helping someone who doesn't feel they have to do anything to help themselves and expects the rest of us to provide them with an income to live on.
    • UserName123
    • By UserName123 13th Jan 19, 3:02 AM
    • 30 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    ^haha no one is being forced to work. If you choose not to work amcg100 then don’t get tax payers money.
    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 13th Jan 19, 7:30 AM
    • 1,343 Posts
    • 2,459 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    Going by the thread title, in addition, family also can have a tendency to think that you can now be at their beck and call, as you've "nothing better to do", this happens with retirement too!!!
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow "
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 13th Jan 19, 10:36 AM
    • 4,073 Posts
    • 10,994 Thanks

    Many commenters seem to have missed where I said I’m living off credit cards. I don’t borrow my bf’s cards, I don’t claim benefits, his wages only barely cover our bills but I in no way expect him to pay my half.
    Originally posted by DestinyGamer
    I'm a bit concerned that your BF is watching you rack up credit card debt without offering to help by increasing his contribution and is still moaning about supporting you even though he isn't!

    You really really should claim the benefits you're entitled to, living in cards is not a situation that will end well.
    • DCFC79
    • By DCFC79 13th Jan 19, 1:25 PM
    • 33,824 Posts
    • 21,315 Thanks
    I understand why your family have said what they have, if you get a job then your bf wont get all huffy at you and thinks you sit at home all day.

    OP why not apply for a job where your sister works, you might find its ok/you enjoy it and if you don't like it then at least you tried.
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