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    • Bufger
    • By Bufger 15th Sep 19, 7:38 PM
    • 1,742Posts
    • 3,132Thanks
    8yo Sons mental health
    • #1
    • 15th Sep 19, 7:38 PM
    8yo Sons mental health 15th Sep 19 at 7:38 PM
    Hi folks. My lad is 8 and has anxiety but on top of that I'm trying to find more information on an anxiety behaviour he has thats affecting his friendships and other aspects of his life. I'm not even sure where to start looking on this one..

    When he does something with one hand or one side of his body, he feels the need to mirror that action with the other side. He says if he doesnt do that then he feels like something bad will happen to him or his family. Its all he focuses on, if he doesnt do this ritual he worries so much he doesnt pay any attention to anything else going on. He says that its tiring. We've tried to work with his school through some of his anxiety and they keep brushing it off, I have mentioned it to his GP (who is also terrible) and I havent had a referall for it.

    I've switched GP's and I am going to take him to the GP and see if I can get a referall to a child psychologist but i'm not sure if thats the correct route. This might also have a name that i'm not aware of etc!

    Just looking for anyone else thats been through similar. I can see its crippling him so I cant be fobbed off anymore. I just dont know where to focus my efforts! If anyone else has been through similar I would appreciate just a heads up on what route you took or the experiences you had. I appreciate people shouldnt give medical advice on here - just want some other parents or sufferers points of view.

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Page 1
    • gomer
    • By gomer 15th Sep 19, 7:52 PM
    • 597 Posts
    • 1,119 Thanks
    • #2
    • 15th Sep 19, 7:52 PM
    • #2
    • 15th Sep 19, 7:52 PM
    You have just described perfectly the intrusive thought patterns that accompany OCD. The belief that if you do not carry out certain rituals in a certain way then bad things will happen to people around you.
    • Skibunny40
    • By Skibunny40 15th Sep 19, 7:52 PM
    • 249 Posts
    • 286 Thanks
    • #3
    • 15th Sep 19, 7:52 PM
    • #3
    • 15th Sep 19, 7:52 PM
    Definitely go back to the GP & request a referral. When I was trying to get a referral for a child psychologist for my child, I got the impression that it helped that I could demonstrate I'd done as much as possible myself to help the situation, eg. read books about child anxieties, attempted recommended techniques with my child, showed that I'd discussed the issue with the school and teachers had tried techniques as well... No-one ever specifically said it, but the fact I'd exhausted all avenues myself seemed to help. Also write down all the stuff you've done/tried/read before the GP appointment, it's hard not to just get emotional. Best of luck - it's a horrible time but hopefully your son will get the help he needs.
    • Ms Chocaholic
    • By Ms Chocaholic 15th Sep 19, 7:55 PM
    • 10,543 Posts
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    Ms Chocaholic
    • #4
    • 15th Sep 19, 7:55 PM
    • #4
    • 15th Sep 19, 7:55 PM
    This might help

    I think parents can now self-refer to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) whereas in the past referrals had to be made via your GP, maybe google your local service or give them a call.

    ETA: I just googled for Coventry as that's what your profile states and this is the webpage you may need. I've no idea of the geography round there so you may need to check yourself.
    Last edited by Ms Chocaholic; 15-09-2019 at 7:57 PM.
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    • maman
    • By maman 15th Sep 19, 8:57 PM
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    • #5
    • 15th Sep 19, 8:57 PM
    • #5
    • 15th Sep 19, 8:57 PM
    Have you talked to his teacher about your concerns? They could help getting a referral as if it affects him at home it's likely to do the same at school.
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 15th Sep 19, 9:28 PM
    • 3,335 Posts
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    ska lover
    • #6
    • 15th Sep 19, 9:28 PM
    • #6
    • 15th Sep 19, 9:28 PM
    OP good luck, it sounds a hard situation

    If the GP will not refer him, demand one and put a complaint in

    It is great to get on top of this now whilst he is still young before he hits his teens

    all the very best
    The opposite of what you also true
    • Mrsn
    • By Mrsn 15th Sep 19, 9:37 PM
    • 207 Posts
    • 187 Thanks
    • #7
    • 15th Sep 19, 9:37 PM
    • #7
    • 15th Sep 19, 9:37 PM
    It stands out as a very much OCD trait and the resulting thought of something bad happening if he doesn’t follow the compulsion is what’s known as an intrusive thought....

    The good news is once diagnosed it can be treated through various methods CBT usually being most effective. Having suffered from OCD and anxiety in the past my thoughts are with you all as it’s not an easy position to be in.

    Definitely go back to the GP requesting a referral to CAMHS, it’s certainly worth speaking to your sons school regarding this and if they have any school nurse sessions then try and speak to them also. It’s not going to be an overnight thing and you will have to be insistent to get the help you need. Good luck
    • deannatrois
    • By deannatrois 15th Sep 19, 9:43 PM
    • 6,311 Posts
    • 8,890 Thanks
    • #8
    • 15th Sep 19, 9:43 PM
    • #8
    • 15th Sep 19, 9:43 PM
    When trying to get my son assessed for ASD I took a list of the behaviours/difficulties he showed and some web information about ASD. I got the referral he needed although previous requests had failed.

    I suppose the word 'anxiety' doesn't necessarily mean a lot to GP's. Its too vague.

    I'd start with OCD behaviours as suggested.

    I had no help from my son's school either, even though his brother had been diagnosed, his school explained away similar behaviours. His teacher almost fell off her chair when I told her my younger son had actually been diagnosed.
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 15th Sep 19, 11:15 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    • #9
    • 15th Sep 19, 11:15 PM
    • #9
    • 15th Sep 19, 11:15 PM
    I am not a doctor so I cannot give you a diagnosis but I can tell you I do the exact same thing as your son and I am 50! It is one of the more common compulsions. I have been diagnosed with OCD since a very young age. It does not mean your son has the condition, right now think of it as a reaction to his anxiety. I also feel something bad will happen if I don't do it, a kind of unexplained horror to myself or those I love. Look on it as a way for him to keep control when his anxiety makes him feel out of control? This is the one thing feels he can do to drop his anxiety down, in that way it is a coping strategy.

    The good news is it can be dealt with and reduced if not stopped entirely once he finds other ways to deal with his anxiety with professional help. I have chosen not to stop mine because my OCD is chronic so I just dealt with the compulsions that were affecting my life dramatically and left the less harmful ones but your son certainly doesn't have to do the same as me.

    If you can please don't make it an 'issue' for him. Most of us with compulsions know they make no sense and are embarrassed and ashamed of them. However we are too afraid to stop them. Your son will likely be thinking what he is doing is wrong, try to show him you don't care about the symmetrical actions and love him just the same. With patience and learning how to control his anxiety he can successfully get control over this.
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    • Socajam
    • By Socajam 15th Sep 19, 11:57 PM
    • 493 Posts
    • 679 Thanks
    We've tried to work with his school through some of his anxiety and they keep brushing it off.

    The school can only do so much. Teachers are under enormous pressure as it is and to add this to the mix is maybe something they are not trained to do.

    You need expertise help, something you are going to have to keep pushing for with your doctor.
    You should also do some research and see if there are any groups in your area, try and meet up with some of the parents who may be able to give you valuable information both negative and positive for how to go about getting treatment.
    I agree it's best to get this treated whilst your son is young, because as he ages , the more burdensome it will become for him.
    • Drawingaline
    • By Drawingaline 16th Sep 19, 9:24 AM
    • 874 Posts
    • 2,930 Thanks
    I agree professional advice is needed. In the meantime I used a workbook called what to do when you worry to much (just from @mazon) when my osn was a similar age and was showing signs of anxiety. You work through it together, and it may be a help. Especially if there is a wait for any NHS help.
    • Mrs Soup
    • By Mrs Soup 16th Sep 19, 9:33 AM
    • 613 Posts
    • 1,127 Thanks
    Mrs Soup
    I suspect CAMHS is the way to go initially and as someone else said you can self refer although waiting lists for assessment are huge in some areas. If the school was more helpful they might be able to arrange for the Educational Psychologist to see him but if his behaviour isn't affecting his school progress they may not see it as a priority.
    • chesky
    • By chesky 16th Sep 19, 4:07 PM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 2,124 Thanks
    Anyone who has OCD (I have it very mildly) would recognise the symptoms your son shows. Definitely back to your GP - the sooner you work with a specialist in this, the better.
    • Anoneemoose
    • By Anoneemoose 16th Sep 19, 7:02 PM
    • 2,064 Posts
    • 2,484 Thanks
    Another Ďvoteí for OCD. Obviously Iím not a doctor so canít diagnose but it certainly does sound like OCD symptoms.

    Iíve suffered since my late teens and back then I didnít find there was much help and so I suffered not knowing what was Ďwrong with meí for such a long time. In recent years though, in particular with the help of the Internet, as well as some CBT and meds, I am pretty much unaffected by it now.

    There is help and support out there and although it may seem horrible and scary, he will be able to live a life thatís not overwhelmed by it.
    • Loz01
    • By Loz01 16th Sep 19, 7:18 PM
    • 1,727 Posts
    • 3,889 Thanks
    I developed OCD when I was about 11 (I think triggered from my parents divorce) and I would become obsessive about things. I still have it now but its controlled and minimal. Please see a GP who can refer you on and they can intervene early and get him some help.
    • thebigstillmeister
    • By thebigstillmeister 24th Sep 19, 3:47 PM
    • 173 Posts
    • 148 Thanks
    I'm nearly 40 but when I was around that age I had a similar thing,. only now looking back I realise/assume it was OCD,

    I'd panic and worry that something really bad would happen, usually that one of my parents would get hurt if i didn't do certain things such as touch each chair if i walked past the dining room table, or had to look at each side of the door when i opened it,.

    Sound ludicrous now, but I just thought, well what if i don't do it and something does happen,

    I was quite shy at that age,.. but I did grow out of it after a few years,. so I wouldn't be too quick to seek medical/mental health advice unless its really severe,
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