Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings

sukeyboo · 4 January 2018 at 12:03PM

Bit late to the party but Happy New Year to all you lovely ladies

My word for 2018 will be empowered as I really need to start taking control of my own life.

Please feel free to skip reading as this might be a long post and apologies if it is a bit ‘me, me, me’ but I need to get it off my chest

As I posted towards the end of the last thread, I feel that I don’t really have anything to contribute sometimes as my life seems to be stuck in a huge rut. I work full-time Monday to Friday and have been in the same job for 20 years now. Having recently asked to drop down to a four day week I will be having Monday’s off from the start of April. I have always been the principle earner in our relationship and, at times, the only one, which is why we have never had children as I could not afford to give up work – even just for maternity leave

I have been with my OH for over 37 years now (since I was 16 and still at school) and although I do love him he does have a rather controlling personality which has prevented me from leading the life I would have liked to - I know this sounds pathetic (and it is)

. But, from now on, I am going to try and change things before I am too old to enjoy all the experiences life has to offer. We have never been abroad on holiday as OH doesn’t want to go and I wouldn’t have the confidence to go on my own (I don’t have any close female friends that I could go with either).

Saying all that, I have decided to try to be more assertive and ‘put-my-foot-down’ when I want to do something different. OH is more than happy to just be at home or, if we do go out, it is always just the two of us sitting in the pub drinking – he isn’t the most sociable of people.

Sorry if I have bored you all to death

Hope you have a lovely holiday LL – you have coped with so much over recent years – but you have come out the other side of it stronger :T

sugarbaby125 · 4 January 2018 at 12:06PM

Hello Ladies,

Mrs Motivated I do not know how to do a link for my new thread but it is My Over 50's Spending Diary

sugarbaby125 · 4 January 2018 at 1:42PM

Hello Sukeyboo,

Please feel free to vent your feelings on this thread about your life. It is not boring for you to do so or for me and others to read. Your thoughts, feelings and your opinions are just as valued on this thread as anyone else's.

Fabbing starts with a state of mind that then leads to actions to improve our outer self on show to the world which then helps to boost our self confidence and our self esteem.

Do you go on UK holidays with your husband? I only ask, because if you do, you could look at ways of being more adventurous with your choice of holidays and the activities that you do on holiday to make your shared holidays much more interesting for the both of you.

Butterfliesarepretty · 4 January 2018 at 1:46PM

Good Morning ladies/everyone,

2018 is working for me so far. Im doing the dry january, and not missing it at all! Been to the gym this morning, doing the weight machines and stepper, love going, tend to go three times a week. Its not a lot of money £26 a month and its a council gym too.

On friday I go with my neighbours to the gym, they are in their 70s and they are such lovely people to know I enjoy their company. Tomorrow will be painting the stair walls and have found some curtains to go on a new chrome pole at the top. This year is about decorating our house which I am excited about:rotfl: and it helps that my husband is pretty handy with plumbing and kitchen installing etc.

I have been at this current house since 2016 and neighbours talk to each other which has helped me banish my anxiety completely. At my other address on a terraced street, people ignored each other which affected me as I like to chat and take an interest and have friends.

Sukeyboo I read your post and I sympathise greatly with you. I was married once to a controlling man for 11 years, my personality took a nose dive and I got divorced but lost my daughter to him in the process. she is now 19 and at university, and hes still the same way, he is remarried for the third time.
All I can say to you is do the things YOU want and dont let anyone grind you down.
Working less hours does help, I have been working in accounts for 32 years for different companies, BT was my staple job from age of 19 for 17 years, loved it. But last year I had an anxiety attack at work, stress of the workload made me panic.

My husband who I married four years ago said he thought it would help if I reduced my hours and so I left work, went for some counselling and joined an agency to work part time. Thats what I do now but now trying to find a permanent part time accounts job.

I am happier and more settled. Apart from a distant relationship with my daughter I am content with my life.:D

Have a great day everyone!

sashybo · 4 January 2018 at 1:51PM

Mrs motivated I have done a bit of Pilates & it’s something I’d like to get back into. I found it very good as it concentrates on strengthening your core which in turn helps your whole body. My core is like jelly atm after the baby.

When I injured my knee around 10 years ago the physio I had showed me some Pilates based exercises to strengthen the muscles around my knee & it was the only thing that worked for me.

I’m currently getting back into yoga and use Y0utube as also don’t enjoy the gym/gym classes. My favourite yoga channel is Yoga with Adriene, she is very good and has a lot of different videos. Once I’ve got myself back into a yoga routine I’m going to check out some Pilates videos & see if I can find an instructor I like.

I managed 35 mins of yoga last night & could definitely feel it in my arms & hips afterwards.

Glad to hear my baby talk hasn’t been too dull. DS slept a bit better, I think the cold is just annoying him. If I try to unblock his nose he screams like a banshee, I have a saline spray and he struggles to get away as soon as he sees it now!:eek::o

sukeyboo I hope you manage to make the changes you want to, you sound like it’s something you really need to do for yourself so good luck. sugarbaby is right in everything she says in her post. :T

sugarbaby I look forward to reading your spending thread.

chanie · 4 January 2018 at 4:00PM

I'm also going to be cheeky and see if you could pop along to my diary as well (link in my signature!!! - called 2017 Spend Less, Live More)

maddiemay · 4 January 2018 at 4:01PM

LL - some great ideas, thank you. I am going for Simply the best (I can be).

Today I have been to my PT session, and did well even after a couple of weeks off:D and have eaten sardines on gf toast for lunch to get in one of my portions of oily fish for this week (where is the feeling virtuous smiley when I need it>:rotfl:)

I have also previewed an NHS Seated Pilates lesson, the early part of which looks doable and a couple of seated excercise vids are saved on my tablet for alternating with the Pilates one, need to look them out and get them up on laptop.

chanie · 4 January 2018 at 5:01PM

I ordered two pairs of thermal jeggings from Uniqlo which I picked up today after they'd taken the legs up. Whilst there, I also bought a dark green jersey top, reduced to £5.

LuxuryWoman · 4 January 2018 at 7:40PM

Hello, may I join please? lessonlearned told me about you lovely lot on another thread <waves to LL>

Became single in July last year and am learning to be 'me' again, with a 13 year old daughter who doesn't need me so much in practical ways I have more time to devote to frumpy self! I turn 50 this year and want to do it in style.

I need a haircut and 2 stone of my menopausal tummy but my skin is OK and my hair is thick and strong so we have things to work with.

My Christmas was largely paid for with vouchers and points so I have been to the sales for a few pampering treats including a reduced perfume gift set and some Ted Baker sets which look pretty in my boudoir <it will be a boudoir one day!>
I also treated myself to this fab bag https://www.myexquisiteshop.com/products/quilted-leather-shoulder-bag which I thought was rather Chanelesque but without the hefty price tag, they do have some nice bits I must say.

I have a new business to build selling homewares so I hope 2018 is the year I get rich and get glowing - a tad ambitious but hey we can rebuild this woman (can't we?)

lessonlearned · 4 January 2018 at 11:37PM

Hello lovely ladies.....

Sukeyboo.....I agree with and echo everything SUgarbaby said.

Please stick around and please continue to post.......anything at all.........your thoughts, your hopes, dreams and aspirations, your goals, your successes, your setbacks. This thread and the lovely ladies will support and encourage you every step of the way. You are not boring, you have just lost your way is all.

I am not exaggerating when I say This thread was my lifesaver. I was in such a dark place. Caring for my husband, having to put him in a nursing home, watching him die. At the same time staring bankruptcy in the face. There were times I just wanted to stay in bed and pull the duvet over my head.

I’ve come a long way......but I didn’t do it alone. I had the friendship and, dare I say it, the love and affection of my virtual friends on here to light me through that long dark tunnel.

Sukey......you just need to find yourself again...... be patient, baby steps. Learn to love yourself and the rest will follow.

Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings

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