How much financial support do you give your parents ?

Pollycat · 24 February 2019 at 10:06AM

mdury wrote: »

Have you considered their house could be your pension? It seems reasonable to me that they could gift you the house in return for a sort of annuity. For instance you could agree that they both could live in it for the rest of their lives, with bills fully paid (as you say you can afford this). This would mean their state pensions can just be for food and trips. You get to help without jepodising your future too much and they get more spare cash.

There are potential issues with this.
Not least deprivation of capital if one or both parents need care in the future.

As above - is the OP coming back to the thread?

maman · 24 February 2019 at 1:43PM

I'm in the camp that the only support I'd give would be to try and sort them out with advice.

If I was OP, I'd definitely be feeling resentful. I feel resentful just reading some of the responses!

This couple have deliberately put themselves in this position by being profligate with their earnings in their younger days. I feel very resentful when I hear the word 'entitled' or 'because they've worked hard all their lives'.

The benefit system is for people who've fallen on hard times through no fault of their own. It wasn't intended as a lifestyle choice where you Spend, Spend, Spend and then look to the state to support you when it's all gone. Unlike the current generation and the earlier generation that lived though the depression of the 1930s, people in their 70s have largely lived through a time of good employment. If they've chosen to spend rather than save then IMO that's irresponsible.

I'd make sure they didn't starve and point them towards possible state support but I wouldn't be too concerned about their feelings.

Sorry if I sound harsh but while I happily pay my taxes I do get angry when I see how some of them are spent.:(

skint_chick · 24 February 2019 at 7:04PM

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I get where you are coming from with most of your post Skint Chick, other than this bit - these aren't teenagers / young adults that need teaching a lesson on money management - financial attitudes are going to be well en-grained by now and they have managed to get through seven decades/ housed themselves / brought up kids, whilst having these same attitudes.

Well what choice do they have but to learn how to manage their money? They've gone for the easy option which is to wait for you to offer them money! If you take the emotion out of it, they have known they are going to retire since they started working, it's not a sudden early retirement or health crisis. They have chosen to spend the money on other things, so why shouldn't they sell their house and use that money to live on. After all they paid the mortgage for all those years to have the freedom to do just that. Surely even if it's not worth much they would free up some equity by moving to a one bed place - even if it just served to reduce their monthly outgoings.

Plenty of people have to change their budgeting ways at this stage of life, you can support them best by pointing them in the direction of agencies that can help them, because if you start handing over money it could be another 20 years that you're doing it for, then what will happen to your own retirement that you've worked hard for (and not spend all your money on holidays and luxuries).

Les79 · 24 February 2019 at 9:37PM

If I had spare money (which is usually the case) I'd personally chip in a few ££ to help my parents. They did, after all, pay for me for the first 16 years of my life (and beyond that!).

But it would be less about "money" and more about necessities. So I may, for example, set up a recurring weekly ASDA food shop where £20 of "essentials" get delivered each week.

People here, I feel, are being a tad harsh in response because we are talking about two elderly people. I mean, they aren't helping themselves by not claiming benefits (something which YOU can help them out with!), but they've (presumably) worked all of their life and earned their money and they are more than entitled to spend it on holidays/going out etc.

What concerns me, however, is the lack of pension pot.... If they were working all their life then presumably they have two workplace pensions? Unless they took money out of their pension, or opted out of pension payments, in which case I'd have zero sympathy. Mind you, my knowledge of pensions is FUZZY and, being a relative youngling, I don't know precisely how pension work (only that I pay out £X a month for one).

pickledonionspaceraider · 25 February 2019 at 7:59PM

Les79 wrote: »

People here, I feel, are being a tad harsh in response because we are talking about two elderly people. I mean, they aren't helping themselves by not claiming benefits (something which YOU can help them out with!), but they've (presumably) worked all of their life and earned their money and they are more than entitled to spend it on holidays/going out etc.

.

I feel that. We are discussing two vulnerable elderly people. ...who haven't even asked for help, and have survived 70+ years without help

There is a severe lack of empathy considering the vulnerability of the parents ...and a huge lot of presumption and very few facts.

Pollycat · 25 February 2019 at 8:34PM

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I feel that. We are discussing two vulnerable elderly people. ...who haven't even asked for help, and have survived 70+ years without help

There is a severe lack of empathy considering the vulnerability of the parents ...and a huge lot of presumption and very few facts.

How do we know that these people are vulnerable?
Just because someone is in their seventies doesn't mean they are vulnerable.

How do we know that they haven't asked for help?
The OP hasn't been back to answer a multitude of questions that have been asked (and I doubt they will).

I do agree that there is a 'huge lot of presumption and very few facts' but that is down to the OP.

onomatopoeia99 · 25 February 2019 at 8:55PM

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

We are discussing two vulnerable elderly people

I missed where the OP said they were vulnerable. Elderly and vulnerable are not synonyms, nor does one imply the other.

My parents are older (in their 80s), fiscally prudent and not vulnerable.

pickledonionspaceraider · 25 February 2019 at 9:15PM

I think older folk are more vulnerable. Some are more obvious ways than others.

There are a lot of old age vulnerabilities:-Less capable physically, more prone to illness, more prone to cold, more prone to falling over and if they do it causes more damage, more likely to be ripped off conmen, less likely to know where to go for help (like use internet to find things), more likely to be duped by things like phishing emails, less likely to be tech savvy.

OR - as we chat about here - Less likely to be able to recoup savings if they are poor, due to retirement (and bad spending habits earlier on) but now they cant recoup this - this is a vulnerability...and with insight this will lead to serious choices = heating/eating, if it isn't already

These aren't blanket terms but being old, skint and unable to change that, certainly puts someone in the vulnerable bracket IMO

Pollycat · 25 February 2019 at 9:21PM

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I think older folk are more vulnerable. Some are more obvious ways than others.

There are a lot of old age vulnerabilities:-Less capable physically, more prone to illness, more prone to cold, more prone to falling over and if they do it causes more damage, more likely to be ripped off conmen, less likely to know where to go for help (like use internet to find things), more likely to be duped by things like phishing emails, less likely to be tech savvy.

OR - as we chat about here - Less likely to be able to recoup savings if they are poor, due to retirement (and bad spending habits earlier on) but now they cant recoup this - this is a vulnerability.

These aren't blanket terms but being old, skint and unable to change that, certainly puts someone in the vulnerable bracket

You are generalising.
There is nothing in the OP's posts to suggest that their parents are vulnerable.
I have a very good friend who is in their early eighties and would be mortified to be described as 'vulnerable'.

pickledonionspaceraider · 25 February 2019 at 9:27PM

Pollycat wrote: »

You are generalising.
There is nothing in the OP's posts to suggest that their parents are vulnerable.
I have a very good friend who is in their early eighties and would be mortified to be described as 'vulnerable'.

Is your friend on the breadline?

I mean every one of us can say we know an older person who is sprightly, has plenty of resources and is not vulnerable, that is also generalising - as there are plenty of non vulnerable

I think we can agree on there are some that are not vulnerable,and some that are, but it is circumstances that make the difference, don't you think?

How much financial support do you give your parents ?

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