The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14)
Comments
-
Frenetic, reading and following.
11/15 please and not going to make target - how unusual!
However can I try 15 for October please Shaggy - aim high and hope.0 -
17/21 tonight please Shaggy.
I'm pleased with this as there was a work drinks with free booze and then an evening out with friends, some of whom drank a huge amount. Funny to be the only sober one but no less enjoyable. They hardly noticed in fact one friend thought my pink elderflower soft drink was rose. I am enjoying the sober journey home rather than weaving my way too!
Sleep well everyone.0 -
22/25 AFDs today0
-
Hi Alex, wow put you on the spot there. I admire your honesty.
Yes, my father isn't exactly subtle in his approach. :rotfl:Honey_Bear wrote: »My drinking had become a problem but I'm not sure when I crossed the line from being someone who drank too much sometimes to someone who had a problem. I knew for at least five years that it had become a problem before I did anything practical about it, although I did start looking for answers on the internet and visiting this thread was one of those things. I'm pretty sure most people who give up altogether probably spend a bit of time looking for solutions before deciding which course of action is most likely to give them the outcome they want, but I have no proof of that. I often think that the people who visit us only once, or post a few times and then disappear are in the category of knowing they probably should do something but can't quite get to where they want to be - yet. I was one of them and didn't start posting daily for years after that first post.
The trick about stopping smoking is to never give up giving up; if the current figures are to be believed (and I do) most people find a way to stop eventually. I'm not sure if it's the same about booze, although I did hear that the success rate with one evangelical-type anti-alcohol organisation is about 7%, whereas people who decide to do it on their own by knitting their own support network like this thread have a 50% success rate. There is a distinct possibility that the difference in those numbers may be simply down to at what stage of the process of killing oneself with booze one seeks a solution, though. Had I gone on much longer, say a year or two, I don't think I'd have been strong enough to stop altogether. A sobering thought, as they say.
WBF, I think that post's brilliant, the whole thing. It takes a lot of thought and effort to take back control of our lives and you've illustrated exactly how you broke down all the components in yours.
The booze is just the tip of the iceberg, and once we've got that well and truly in our sights we can deal with areas that seem more peripheral - having a plan, caffeine, sleep, whether or not to have easy access to our favourite tipple, and finally the cheese issue. It all adds up to a whole new way of life, none of which seems possible when we're at the point of knowing we have to do something if we want to change our life for the better.
Post as little or as much as you want - every contribution helps.
Welcome back, Alex. :wave: It's good to see you posting again. Interesting that your father opened up the conversation.
29/30 please, Shaggy.
Brilliant post, Honey Bear and thank you for the welcome back. Thank you all for the welcome back, in fact.
Looking back drinking was a habit for me, one formed a long time ago and before cutting down I couldn't imagine life without drinking as it was something that formed at a young age. Wine was a part of dinner when I were at home even when I was quite a bit younger than the legal age but upon going to university drinking carried on into the rest of the evening until bed. Sometimes I used to enjoy drinking much earlier than dinner. For many years I couldn't just share a bottle of wine with my wife over dinner and leave it there. I can now and have this evening. We just had a glass each with the plan of finishing the bottle tomorrow. There was a time in a usual evening when I'd open and finish another bottle of wine to myself before going onto the Scotch. It just became what happened of an evening along with a ridiculous amount of coffee during the daytime.2018 totals:
Savings £11,200
Mortgage Overpayments £5,5000 -
Thanks for that, Alex. It creeps up on us. I was incredibly lucky in that I didn't start drinking daily until I was in my late 30s. If I'd started as young as you were encouraged to I'm not sure I'd have made it to 40, and boy am I glad that I stopped when I did.
I post longer posts because someone else's post has started off a train of thought in my head. When I was going through the first couple of months of giving up in particular I found it difficult to find anything about how that felt to other people, and what the effect would be in the shorter term. Everyone who's been alcohol-free for a year or more is happy to share their thoughts on that, but that's not a lot of help while we're battling with the immediate temptation while we start to restructure our lives. I know you're cutting down rather than knocking it on the head, but most of the same things apply.Shaggy I absolutely love October's "target beaten" emoji :rotfl::rotfl: It's fabulous!
Me too! I'm seriously thinking about saying my target is only 30 so that I can have to it, too! Actually, what'll be really lovely is seeing it on everyone else's tally and that means there will be lots of them. Hurrah!Wanna_Bee_Free wrote: »Funny to be the only sober one but no less enjoyable. They hardly noticed in fact one friend thought my pink elderflower soft drink was rose. I am enjoying the sober journey home rather than weaving my way too!
Back in my drinking days I used to wonder how anyone who didn't slosh it back with us in the group could be enjoying the evening - just goes to show how much of a hold booze had over me. Now not only I but everyone in the group of friends accepts what I do as completely normal.
I think the first time I experienced the sober walk home as opposed to the wandering weaving wobble I thought it was a miracle! And then it occurred to me that I wasn't going to feel sh*t in the morning and then waste the whole day because I felt slow and lethargic once the gyppy tummy and headache had passed, topped off by a wave of depression at about 5.00pm, and that made me a very happy bunny indeed.
Pink elderflower masquerading as rose, eh? Nice one.
30/30 please, Shaggy.Better is good enough.0 -
Morning all, 29/30 for me please.
AlexLK, I confess when I first read your father's comment it struck me as curious that the person who was drinking was asking the person who was not drinking if they had a problem! But I can see why not drinking might alert others to the fact that you have decided to cut down, which might in turn lead to that question.
I can remember my parents giving me sherry when I was about 11, but that in itself is strange, since neither was really a drinker - they never drank at home. My dad said it was because his Sunday school teacher told him it was wrong. But my dad is an atheist! Go figure. I probably started drinking regularly by myself in my mid-20s. But I can remember being out on a school do in final year at a restaurant and I ordered a cocktail and drank it while the rest of the table stared at me with stolid faces. Ha ha! I don't regret it either, I'm afraid. In April I am taking a break from buying: Books
0 -
Good morning all. 21/24
Now off to study and no drinks planned for a long time.2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.
2018 plans - reduce debt0 -
Poor_Single_lady wrote: »Good morning all. 21/24
Now off to study and no drinks planned for a long time.
Is that until wine o'clock or even longer??;):rotfl:
Glad you and MrsK enjoyed your wine last night Alex. for me, it's all about taking control and making a choice not just drinking out of habit.:)0 -
Honey_Bear wrote: »Thanks for that, Alex. It creeps up on us. I was incredibly lucky in that I didn't start drinking daily until I was in my late 30s. If I'd started as young as you were encouraged to I'm not sure I'd have made it to 40, and boy am I glad that I stopped when I did.
I post longer posts because someone else's post has started off a train of thought in my head. When I was going through the first couple of months of giving up in particular I found it difficult to find anything about how that felt to other people, and what the effect would be in the shorter term. Everyone who's been alcohol-free for a year or more is happy to share their thoughts on that, but that's not a lot of help while we're battling with the immediate temptation while we start to restructure our lives. I know you're cutting down rather than knocking it on the head, but most of the same things apply.
I think the first time I experienced the sober walk home as opposed to the wandering weaving wobble I thought it was a miracle! And then it occurred to me that I wasn't going to feel sh*t in the morning and then waste the whole day because I felt slow and lethargic once the gyppy tummy and headache had passed, topped off by a wave of depression at about 5.00pm, and that made me a very happy bunny indeed.
My parents have a healthy attitude to drinking; glass of wine with dinner and a nightcap before bed. I was introduced to nothing more than a glass of wine with dinner. They'd have been horrified to know how much I used to drink. I'd have never admitted it at the time but all the drinking I did during my university years was due to not having the confidence to speak to others sober. By the end of my undergrad I'd formed a habit which carried on until I joined MSE and wanted to save money. I don't think I ever admitted the true amount I spent on alcohol on here.
Recently I've been back in touch with an old schoolfriend after he received treatment for an out of control cocaine habit. During our time at school he always was a bit of a liability and by all accounts was until this year. At the end of the summer my wife and I had a meal out with him and his (fairly recent) girlfriend, he told me he's never felt so alive since getting sober (completely gave up alcohol also). I've experienced something similar since drastically cutting down: no more daily hangovers and no wondering if I'd said anything inappropriate the night before. Also managed to give up drinking caffeine which has helped both my mental and physical health.Morning all, 29/30 for me please.
AlexLK, I confess when I first read your father's comment it struck me as curious that the person who was drinking was asking the person who was not drinking if they had a problem! But I can see why not drinking might alert others to the fact that you have decided to cut down, which might in turn lead to that question.
I can remember my parents giving me sherry when I was about 11, but that in itself is strange, since neither was really a drinker - they never drank at home. My dad said it was because his Sunday school teacher told him it was wrong. But my dad is an atheist! Go figure. I probably started drinking regularly by myself in my mid-20s. But I can remember being out on a school do in final year at a restaurant and I ordered a cocktail and drank it while the rest of the table stared at me with stolid faces. Ha ha! I don't regret it either, I'm afraid.
Father knew I cut down drinking a few years back and I told him the other evening that I had decided not to drink in advance so wouldn't be having any wine with dinner. I think he probably found this a little strange and can remember I used to drink quite heavily. Whilst my parents weren't aware the amount I used to drink was a daily occurrence, they knew I did drink daily. Father is in his 80s and recently he's been trying to find out a lot about my life and I think just wanted to know if I am OK.Is that until wine o'clock or even longer??;):rotfl:
Glad you and MrsK enjoyed your wine last night Alex. for me, it's all about taking control and making a choice not just drinking out of habit.:)
Exactly what it's all about for me too, maman.
We finished the bottle tonight over dinner but left it there, nothing else. Tomorrow will be AF. 2018 totals:
Savings £11,200
Mortgage Overpayments £5,5000
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
- 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 449.7K Spending & Discounts
- 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 608K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 173.1K Life & Family
- 247.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards