The time is now..
Sugarglider1992
Posts: 14 Forumite
Good Morning,
i've been watching this forum for a while and have finally decided the time is right to join in and make the movements i've been putting off for too long. Your advice would be greatly appreciated, as I am treading in very unfamiliar waters and in all honesty, i'm a little scared.
Quick idea on my background, 26yo, living with my parents. Stable income but unstable mental health since the age of 14. Alongside that, a failed business and falling into gambling, i've ended up here, granted, through burying my head in the sand. I would say majority of my original debts were through living costs when I set up a business, reckless spending during BPD episodes, and gambling in an attempt to rectify them, which put me in a whole new level of debt.
My family have financially been supporting me for the last few years, I've sparingly paid my share of the household bills and sometimes they wouldn't see a penny of rent for months but due to my mental health, they overlooked it for a long time so that I could pay my debts without falling behind and live a reasonable life to keep my head 'bobbing along' without too many relapses. Now through their own change in circumstances, it is time for me to grow up and accept the changes that I need to make. Over the past 6 months I have worked hard in therapy and feel ready to get some order in my life.
Self excluded from all gambling sites in March 2018 and with help from my therapist, have not relapsed :j I only pay some of the smaller bills to the household as and when there is money left over to take, but they have made it clear that this needs to change now. They have to take in my share of the bills or they will no longer be able to afford to offer me a roof and will need to downsize themselves- and rightly so! So to pay what I should pay to be self sufficient, I am now looking at bankruptcy, not only for the financial reasons but for the fresh start allowing me to accept my 'past life' and give myself the opportunity to build a new life and move forward. As with everybody there are a few variables. I don't own a car, I have use of one from my parents business fleet which I pay tax and part pay the vehicle maintenance. Growing up, I didn't have many friends so I substituted with pets, hence the pet bills. I don't own a lot, other than a TV in by bedroom which I would be happy to give up if they wanted it
I've finalised an SOA as best I can for what I need to pay, starting now, and given my reasons for the figures. So when I file, these will be my outgoings. Honest advice or constructive criticism is very welcome! Apologies for the long post, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. thank you
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1410 - rough average of weekly pay
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1410
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 400 - I have a fair bit of my own space within the house and use of the TV and white goods etc. my things are included in their contents insurance. figure requested by my parents, non negotiable.
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 36 1/4 share
Electricity............................. 10
Gas..................................... 20
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 50.15 current contract - expect this to be not allowed
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 250 inc cleaning products, toileties etc
Clothing................................ 15
Petrol/diesel........................... 250 - approx 60pw, I commute 40mins to work and therapy sessions in a petrol car
Road tax................................ 16.62
Car Insurance........................... 30 - contribution to a fleet policy
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 40 - hoping for dentist bills, my teeth are in very bad shape. when my dental bills are done I could offer this to the OR??
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 29.62 dog insurance and worm/ fleaing
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 12
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 40 - rough idea on 10pw for say a coffee and bite to eat?
Holiday................................. 20
Emergency fund.......................... 15
Pet Food ............................... 30.33 - have a dog, chinchillas, rabbit and fish
(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
Pyschotherapy........................... 100 - 2 x £50 psychotherapy sessions, NHS have let me down so been with this private therapist for 4 years
Total monthly expenses.................. 1394.72
Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0
No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Natwest CC.....................2443.24...57.91.....17.43
Barclaycard CC.................8579.07...277.2.....26.68
Hitachi Finance ...............4503.5....180.1.....10.88
Tesco .........................1604.96...25........0
Total unsecured debts..........17130.77..540.21....-
Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,410
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,394.72
Available for debt repayments........... 15.28
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 540.21
Amount short for making debt repayments. -524.93
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -17,130.77
Net Assets.............................. -17,130.77
i've been watching this forum for a while and have finally decided the time is right to join in and make the movements i've been putting off for too long. Your advice would be greatly appreciated, as I am treading in very unfamiliar waters and in all honesty, i'm a little scared.
Quick idea on my background, 26yo, living with my parents. Stable income but unstable mental health since the age of 14. Alongside that, a failed business and falling into gambling, i've ended up here, granted, through burying my head in the sand. I would say majority of my original debts were through living costs when I set up a business, reckless spending during BPD episodes, and gambling in an attempt to rectify them, which put me in a whole new level of debt.
My family have financially been supporting me for the last few years, I've sparingly paid my share of the household bills and sometimes they wouldn't see a penny of rent for months but due to my mental health, they overlooked it for a long time so that I could pay my debts without falling behind and live a reasonable life to keep my head 'bobbing along' without too many relapses. Now through their own change in circumstances, it is time for me to grow up and accept the changes that I need to make. Over the past 6 months I have worked hard in therapy and feel ready to get some order in my life.
Self excluded from all gambling sites in March 2018 and with help from my therapist, have not relapsed :j I only pay some of the smaller bills to the household as and when there is money left over to take, but they have made it clear that this needs to change now. They have to take in my share of the bills or they will no longer be able to afford to offer me a roof and will need to downsize themselves- and rightly so! So to pay what I should pay to be self sufficient, I am now looking at bankruptcy, not only for the financial reasons but for the fresh start allowing me to accept my 'past life' and give myself the opportunity to build a new life and move forward. As with everybody there are a few variables. I don't own a car, I have use of one from my parents business fleet which I pay tax and part pay the vehicle maintenance. Growing up, I didn't have many friends so I substituted with pets, hence the pet bills. I don't own a lot, other than a TV in by bedroom which I would be happy to give up if they wanted it
I've finalised an SOA as best I can for what I need to pay, starting now, and given my reasons for the figures. So when I file, these will be my outgoings. Honest advice or constructive criticism is very welcome! Apologies for the long post, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. thank you
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1410 - rough average of weekly pay
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1410
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 400 - I have a fair bit of my own space within the house and use of the TV and white goods etc. my things are included in their contents insurance. figure requested by my parents, non negotiable.
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 36 1/4 share
Electricity............................. 10
Gas..................................... 20
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 50.15 current contract - expect this to be not allowed
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 250 inc cleaning products, toileties etc
Clothing................................ 15
Petrol/diesel........................... 250 - approx 60pw, I commute 40mins to work and therapy sessions in a petrol car
Road tax................................ 16.62
Car Insurance........................... 30 - contribution to a fleet policy
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 40 - hoping for dentist bills, my teeth are in very bad shape. when my dental bills are done I could offer this to the OR??
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 29.62 dog insurance and worm/ fleaing
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 12
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 40 - rough idea on 10pw for say a coffee and bite to eat?
Holiday................................. 20
Emergency fund.......................... 15
Pet Food ............................... 30.33 - have a dog, chinchillas, rabbit and fish
(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
Pyschotherapy........................... 100 - 2 x £50 psychotherapy sessions, NHS have let me down so been with this private therapist for 4 years
Total monthly expenses.................. 1394.72
Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0
No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Natwest CC.....................2443.24...57.91.....17.43
Barclaycard CC.................8579.07...277.2.....26.68
Hitachi Finance ...............4503.5....180.1.....10.88
Tesco .........................1604.96...25........0
Total unsecured debts..........17130.77..540.21....-
Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,410
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,394.72
Available for debt repayments........... 15.28
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 540.21
Amount short for making debt repayments. -524.93
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -17,130.77
Net Assets.............................. -17,130.77
0
Comments
-
Hi,
I have no concerns about anything in your SOA apart from the last entry in bold - which of course you have deliberately highlighted.
You will need to demonstrate that the private therapy sessions are necessary to satisfy your 'reasonable domestic needs'. You will need considerable documented evidence from your therapist, doctor, family statements etc as to why you need this and it is not something the state can offer.
It seems to me that you have done a lot to help yourself in recent times and I am in no doubt how important these sessions are to you - but it is not me you need to convince.
If you and the OR can't agree to an IPA, then the OR can go to court to TRY to obtain an IPO.
You might want to look at the Equality Act as a defence.
DDDebt Doctor, Debt caseworker, Citizens' Advice Bureau .
Impartial debt advice services: Citizens Advice Bureau Find your local CAB *** National Debtline - Tel: 0808 808 4000*** BSC No. 100 ***0 -
Pyschotherapy........................... 100 - 2 x £50pw
If your pyschotherapy sessions are £50 per week, 2 per week, shouldn't that be £400-450 a month, or did you mean 2 sessions per month?
Well done on sorting your life out.I'm a Forum Ambassador on The Coronavirus Boards as well as the housing, mortgages and student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0 -
I can understand why they would query it because its a lot of money to be spent
I have a lot of documentation over the last 10 years or so from doctors, NHS, therapist etc so I should hopefully be able to get enough together to put it forward to the OR
Thats my mistake on the note, thanks for picking that up! Its 2 x sessions per month, each session is £50 - total £100 per month
thank you for your help!0 -
I also think that the fact you have been taking these sessions for 4 years is in your favour - It's not something you have recently decided to have.
DDDebt Doctor, Debt caseworker, Citizens' Advice Bureau .
Impartial debt advice services: Citizens Advice Bureau Find your local CAB *** National Debtline - Tel: 0808 808 4000*** BSC No. 100 ***0 -
I know this isn’t about bankruptcy but I from what you have written. My husband is suffering quite badly with depression and we are now thinking of trying private counselling as he is now on the third anti depressant and all they can offer him is a 4 month + wait for a telephone therapy session. I know everyone is different but how long did you go before it made you feel slightly better? I’m bankrupt and he’s just going for a DRO should be on the register any day so we will struggle to pay the £45 a week but I think it’s got to be worth a shot to try and get him to feel better. Sorry for diverting your thread!0
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I know this isn’t about bankruptcy but I from what you have written. My husband is suffering quite badly with depression and we are now thinking of trying private counselling as he is now on the third anti depressant and all they can offer him is a 4 month + wait for a telephone therapy session. I know everyone is different but how long did you go before it made you feel slightly better? I’m bankrupt and he’s just going for a DRO should be on the register any day so we will struggle to pay the £45 a week but I think it’s got to be worth a shot to try and get him to feel better. Sorry for diverting your thread!
I'm sorry to hear that your husband is struggling, it can feel like a lot of money to put into a session when you work out they can charge about £1 a minute. I found the private therapists work a lot closer with you and build a better relationship for your long term health plans, whereas the NHS chop and change your therapists quite often. He will more than likely feel worse for a little while, but will feel the benefits within a couple of months. 'It has to get worse to get better'. Once he is aware of the triggers and reasons for his depression, he will be given the skills he needs to keep fighting on. Best of luck! x0 -
Looking at your figures again, would a DRO work for you?
Once you have taken the big step, it looks to me that your monthly outgoings won't reduce greatly but that you will be paying your way in the home (ie you are broadly swapping credit card debt repayments for rent etc) Just pointing this out, so you are mentally prepared for this.I'm a Forum Ambassador on The Coronavirus Boards as well as the housing, mortgages and student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0 -
Looking at your figures again, would a DRO work for you?
Once you have taken the big step, it looks to me that your monthly outgoings won't reduce greatly but that you will be paying your way in the home (ie you are broadly swapping credit card debt repayments for rent etc) Just pointing this out, so you are mentally prepared for this.
I've actually spent some time on the phone with Step Change today who came up with a DRO as a solution, but i've had so many suggestions on Bankruptcy, i've failed to take much of a look at what a DRO entails. From what I have looked into over the last few hours, it looks as though your debts are not written off for 12 months, but if nothing changes, they will write off at the end of your DRO period. Other than that, I can't see a huge difference in the con's between them both. Am I along the right sort of lines? thank you0 -
Daniellemcookie wrote: »I've actually spent some time on the phone with Step Change today who came up with a DRO as a solution, but i've had so many suggestions on Bankruptcy, i've failed to take much of a look at what a DRO entails. From what I have looked into over the last few hours, it looks as though your debts are not written off for 12 months, but if nothing changes, they will write off at the end of your DRO period. Other than that, I can't see a huge difference in the con's between them both. Am I along the right sort of lines? thank you
more or less plus a DRO costs about £70 while a BR costs about £700
during a BR - should you secure a great paying job - you could end up with a 3 year IPA ..... so the difference between a DRO and BR is quite narrow.Now we all know how it felt to play in the band on the Titanic...0 -
maxmycardagain wrote: »more or less plus a DRO costs about £70 while a BR costs about £700
during a BR - should you secure a great paying job - you could end up with a 3 year IPA ..... so the difference between a DRO and BR is quite narrow.
The cost difference is enormous, if I can go down the DRO route, i'll be able to put aside the money to apply within weeks rather than months!
My main concern right now is stopping the direct debits to the creditors. When is the 'right time'? I'm waiting for my paperwork for my new bank account, but realistically need to be setting up all of my standing orders for my rent etc as soon as my online banking arrives, which means all the DD's need to stop.
Is there a 'moral' way of doing this, writing to the companies to let them know, or do I cancel them and just hold tight through the storm? :eek:0
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