Occupational Health forcing me to take sick leave

Red-Squirrel_2 · 10 June 2018 at 4:42PM

Deleted_User wrote: »

I know!

Hoping people will get the hint that this conversation is over. Thanks to those who tried to provide constructive advice.

You!!!8217;ve certainly had a rough few years, I!!!8217;ve no advice but I hope this can be sorted and things improve for you.

[Deleted User] · 10 June 2018 at 4:55PM

Can you just leave me along now Sangie? I've thanked you for your advice but now you're continuing to attack me. (Calling me gullible, telling me I'm lucky to even have a job after being ill for so long, saying I just want things my own way etc etc. I'm trying to behave reasonably and calmly but you insist on keeping having a go). Enough now.

I won't be commenting any further.

lincroft1710 · 10 June 2018 at 5:14PM

Deleted_User wrote: »

Can you just leave me along now Sangie? I've thanked you for your advice but now you're continuing to attack me. (Calling me gullible, telling me I'm lucky to even have a job after being ill for so long, saying I just want things my own way etc etc. I'm trying to behave reasonably and calmly but you insist on keeping having a go). Enough now.

I won't be commenting any further.

Fact, it isn't unknown for lawyers to take advantage of vulnerable clients.

Fact, most employers (even the once generous civil service) will look to exit employees who have had far less sick leave than you.

Fact, although many employees can see a logical (to them) solution, employers will often not agree and they are the ones paying the wages.

Posters on this site try to help and that will very often mean the thread starter will read things they don't agree with and are not what they want to hear. It is far from a personal attack, just trying to show that there are other aspects which need to be considered and which you do not appear to be aware of.

sangie595 · 10 June 2018 at 5:40PM

Deleted_User wrote: »

Can you just leave me along now Sangie? I've thanked you for your advice but now you're continuing to attack me. (Calling me gullible, telling me I'm lucky to even have a job after being ill for so long, saying I just want things my own way etc etc. I'm trying to behave reasonably and calmly but you insist on keeping having a go). Enough now.

I won't be commenting any further.

I said none of those things. And I haven't attacked you. I have told you repeatedly that I have sympathy for your situation. But that does not extend to giving you bad advice. If you cannot understand the difference between being given good, objective advice by someone and an attack, then it is much better to start out your post with an outline of what you want to be told, so that anyone having an alternative view knows not to waste their time. But you are reading comments that were not made. If you actually spent some time trading what I actually said, instead of what you think I said, you will find that I have told you exactly what you need to do to take this forward. It's just that what you want - full pay - isn't on the options menu. Not my fault. Not your fault. Not the employers fault. It's just that you've exhausted your entitlement to full pay. So you aren't going to get advice as to how to get full pay, because that isn't an option. So my advice was about how to engage in the process going forward. I'm sorry if that wasn't the advice you wanted, but it was the advice you needed. If that doesn't suit you, that isn't my fault. But other people read these threads and base their own actions on the advice given, so I'm not going to tell you a lie to mislead others, just because that's what you would prefer. My advice was aimed at keeping you in employment. Take it or don't, but I suggest that you think very carefully about it objectively before rubbishing it the way you have - because keeping people in employment is something that I'm very good at.

By the way, you rubbished my advice about ill health retirement because your are only 29? Shame that. Because anyone who qualifies is eligible, regardless of age. So your age wouldn't be a factor. I know lots of things that other people don't know about employment, on account of doing this for a living. You are making assumptions - ill health retirement can be given to 20 years old if they qualify.

Simona_Fire · 10 June 2018 at 5:59PM

I think you are all being a little harsh to the OP who clearly isn!!!8217;t well and has been through a terrible time, being unwell and dealing with his brother!!!8217;s suicide. I!!!8217;m not questioning the accuracy of the advice but it could be delivered in a slightly more sympathetic way.

Under the etiquette rules it points out that !!!8220;We!!!8217;re proud that many people whose financial problems exacerbate mental health issues seek help on the forum, but this means you may be berating someone who!!!8217;s clinically depressed. Please think twice before posting judgemental comments!!!8221;.

Just putting that out there.

I think people have made a judgement about the OP!!!8217;s ability to do his role. If the OP!!!8217;s Doctor has said he!!!8217;s fit then I!!!8217;m certainly in no position to doubt that and neither is anyone else on this forum. We don!!!8217;t have all the facts here so why not reserve judgment and move on? The OP clearly doesn!!!8217;t want this argument to continue and you could be making him feel worse by continuing to labour the point.

[Deleted User] · 10 June 2018 at 6:07PM

I'm sorry Sangie and everyone else I've upset today.

I went for a walk to clear my head and have re-read the advice and I think I took it the wrong way.

I'm also sorry for deleting my posts. I was just trying to get myself out of this mess of a thread.

I am struggling with what I do next with my life and maybe you're right, I shouldn't be in work. I just wish I hadn't told my line manager anything and I wouldn't be in this position. My psychiatrist told me in future to talk to my medical team only and not my employer. That's some advice I should probably take, along with what people have said to me today.

I had 7 years of exemplary service and now it seems to have all gone downhill because I was unwell, I've even undone the good work I did by getting back to work and staying in work since September. Everything was going so well and now I've gone and messed it all up.

I'm really sorry for anyone I've offended.

[Deleted User] · 10 June 2018 at 6:10PM

Do you know what's even more ridiculous, it's not even the lack of pay I'm worried about. After my brother's suicide I got a large pay out from his pension so I can afford not to work for a couple of years, although I don't want to be out of work for that long.

I think what I'm most upset about is that by being on sick leave again, I've failed my return to work. I've failed to recover and live like a normal person. That's what I'm trying to get back to, full-time normal working person.

[Deleted User] · 10 June 2018 at 6:12PM

Simona_Fire wrote: »

I think you are all being a little harsh to the OP who clearly isn!!!8217;t well and has been through a terrible time, being unwell and dealing with his brother!!!8217;s suicide.

Thanks Simona Fire but I'm actually female!:rotfl:

sangie595 · 10 June 2018 at 6:40PM

Deleted_User wrote: »

I'm sorry Sangie and everyone else I've upset today.

I went for a walk to clear my head and have re-read the advice and I think I took it the wrong way.

I'm also sorry for deleting my posts. I was just trying to get myself out of this mess of a thread.

I am struggling with what I do next with my life and maybe you're right, I shouldn't be in work. I just wish I hadn't told my line manager anything and I wouldn't be in this position. My psychiatrist told me in future to talk to my medical team only and not my employer. That's some advice I should probably take, along with what people have said to me today.

I had 7 years of exemplary service and now it seems to have all gone downhill because I was unwell, I've even undone the good work I did by getting back to work and staying in work since September. Everything was going so well and now I've gone and messed it all up.

I'm really sorry for anyone I've offended.

You've neither upset nor offended me, so forget that. I give the best advice I can, and it's frustrating when I can see people not seeing that - because sugar coating it means that they will miss what is being said. As you've already noticed - people hear things that aren't said, and more so if they aren't said clearly! Forget it. Let's move on.

Ok. You've got some money. Unfortunate though it is in terms of how you've got it, this is what your brother would have wanted it used for if you could have asked. So you tell your manager, calmly, that in hindsight toy see you've been all over the place, and set hares running, and you think a couple of weeks off would do toy some good and your are going to book a last minute holiday somewhere exotic (not Brighton!) and if they won't agree holiday then fine, you won't argue, but you need some time to consider your options and you'd appreciate it IF they can agree to it being holiday. Start putting that relationship back on a stable footing, because right now your manager is probably as scared as you are. Having your staff tell you they might kill themselves is not something that comes in the management handbook.

Then yes, you need to relax and think calmly. What redeployment might be available? What about moving down to something less responsible for a time? How about retraining for something entirely new? Think about every option, and figure out what makes you happy. If it's none of the above, think again! Then work out the steps you need to take to get there.

And forget about thinking you've failed. You aren't Superman? Get over it, who is? ! Stuff happens. Things go wrong. The measure of the person is not in success or failure, but the fact that they carry on and what they make of it and themselves. You haven't failed - you've just set your targets too high for now and need to give yourself a break. Hell, tomorrow morning I'll be in hospital for a four + hour operation, and I'm sat here arguing with you about your job?!! I'd like to be walking the dog by Friday, but that ain't going to happen. I have to accept that it's a long road to recovery. Mental illness is no different. You are expecting too much of yourself and you've hit a wall. It's ok to say that you'll climb it next year.

Then do that!

Les79 · 10 June 2018 at 6:42PM

Simona_Fire wrote: »

I think you are all being a little harsh to the OP who clearly isn!!!8217;t well and has been through a terrible time, being unwell and dealing with his brother!!!8217;s suicide. I!!!8217;m not questioning the accuracy of the advice but it could be delivered in a slightly more sympathetic way.

Under the etiquette rules it points out that !!!8220;We!!!8217;re proud that many people whose financial problems exacerbate mental health issues seek help on the forum, but this means you may be berating someone who!!!8217;s clinically depressed. Please think twice before posting judgemental comments!!!8221;.

Just putting that out there.

I think people have made a judgement about the OP!!!8217;s ability to do his role. If the OP!!!8217;s Doctor has said he!!!8217;s fit then I!!!8217;m certainly in no position to doubt that and neither is anyone else on this forum. We don!!!8217;t have all the facts here so why not reserve judgment and move on? The OP clearly doesn!!!8217;t want this argument to continue and you could be making him feel worse by continuing to labour the point.

Wouldn't be at all surprised if you were OP using a different device + alias. Your posting history is quite strange in that you've gone from pretty pointless posts on other parts of the forum to a fairly detailed one on the Employment section, defending OP quite rigorously. You'd find it hard to argue that you joined the forum upon seeing OP's post (people do that) because of the previous posts about nothing; you'd surely have made your FIRST post on this thread. So one begs the question as to why, in a short space of time, you've gone from pointless one liners to a detailed post and then disappeared around the time that OP logged back on.

Then there's some confusion about whether OP is a he or she which, in normal circumstances may suggest that you have no link, but is a bit suspect given the past post history and the distinct lack of depth. Almost like you are trying too hard to mask yourself as being the same person.

Of course, I could be wrong but if you are OP then please just drop it! I mean I'm not helping by posting, but I can assure you that everyone on this forum will have forgotten about your post in a few days/weeks IF YOU DON'T REPLY.

Occupational Health forcing me to take sick leave

Comments

Categories

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free