Suspected affair - Tracking a mobile phone

Comms69 · 5 March 2018 at 3:54PM

OP what happened inbetween sept 16 and now? did you resolve your issues?

Poppy1984 · 5 March 2018 at 4:22PM

Hiya just my two pennies worth, if you feel your partner is distant from you, uninterested in spending time with you, hiding his phone but when he is on it constantly texting someone else with a smile on his face then regardless of whether he is having an affair or not this needs a conversation as you are clearly not happy in your relationship.
I would broach it as this is making me unhappy, are you happy? And tackle it from there, he may not be having affair but he might also be unhappy in the relationship and having an open chat (where noone's accusing anyone of affairs or doing anything as drastic as stalking each other) may be the start of putting things in place to fix things.
If he is having an affair and you both admit you're not happy in the relationship he might actually surprise you and admit it. Either way you can then begin to make decisions on whether you work through the issues in your relationship or you go your separate ways.
You deserve to be happy in your relationship and you currently are not rather than putting your energy into "catching" your partner cheating why not put your energy into fixing the relationship.
Good luck x

Gloomendoom · 5 March 2018 at 5:00PM

pushing40 wrote: »

Ok, lots of replies on this thread have given me a bit of a wake up call, so thank you to all of you.

But... can anyone answer this for me (as I really don't know the answer)...

If it's illegal to track someone without their permission/knowledge, even your spouse, why do such websites exist that claim they can tell you the location of any mobile phone?

Businessman Andrew Hunter, 41, was convicted of stalking his wife, after admitting placing a listening device in her purse and a GPS tracker on her car.

fairy_lights · 5 March 2018 at 5:17PM

If you're already pretty sure he's cheating and just need solid evidence to help with the divorce, you'd be better off hiring a private investigator to get proof.

efes_shareholder · 5 March 2018 at 5:35PM

i caught my partner by loading an app on my tablet , locking the screen and leaving it running whilst i went out
the app was designed to record people talking in their sleep and was activated on sound
Hearing a telephone conversation after i went out for a few hours was enough
Be prepared to hear things you may not like
I never told him how i knew , I just quoted his conversation to leave him in no doubt that I did !
It isn't very honest but then having an affair isn't either
Trust your gut , A womens instinct is our most powerful gift yet we will not rely on it alone but this potentially will get you the proof you feel you need.

globetraveller · 5 March 2018 at 5:36PM

Comms69 wrote: »

OP what happened inbetween sept 16 and now? did you resolve your issues?

This made me look back. With that thread and seemingly no change since then, I would say that you have reached the end. He doesn't love you. You don't go out together more than twice a year. You don't go on holiday because he is saving for HIS retirement. Do you love him at all?
Have you got round to photocopying his investment paperwork yet- you were going to be doing it then Don't say anythung until you have got financial advice. Work out what you will do afterwards. Will you work full time? Sort out this housework routine. What are you doing that takes that many hours? Get out one evening a week- the cinema or the gym etc. No asking - just tell him. Leave the clearing up and children's bedtime to him. When you have had time to work out what you would do when you divorce and what money you would have- then tell him . Life is too short to waste on a loveless marriage. ( autocorrect wanted to change loveless to lifeless , both fit though. Good luck. Start a new thread asking for advice about what you need to do going forward.

FBaby · 5 March 2018 at 6:29PM

I don't get at all this 'if you suspect that your partner is cheating talk to them' advice. What is this going to achieve? If indeed they are cheating, they are very unlikely to admit it, all it will do is make them more careful, so that you become even more suspicious, but even less likely to get evidence. Or is there an expectation that they would systematically come clean about it?

Surely it's much easier to catch them in the act without them knowing so you are in control of time to take a decision as to what to do with the information. If I was in your shoes, I would either find a way to follow and see if their car was parked where they say they were (if driving) or get a friend to spy for me.

It either goes two ways, he is cheating or he isn't. If he isn't, then you can learn from this and work on the issues that led to distrusting him.

Doodles · 5 March 2018 at 7:06PM

OP, do you have a trusted friend or family member that you could ask to follow him one time when he is supposed to be going out with this 'friend'?

I wouldn't bother with Apps or anything that you could get scammed, or arrested for. The word of a good friend/family would be good enough for me.

motorguy · 5 March 2018 at 7:19PM

pushing40 wrote: »

In addition, I don't want him to know that I suspect something. Forewarned is forearmed. If he knows I'm onto him, he'll just get cleverer with his deceit.

I agree. If he is having an affair and you cant prove it, you'd simply be alerting him to be more careful.

Ms_Chocaholic · 5 March 2018 at 7:24PM

Could you afford a private investigator as that would be preferable as you would be able to find out who he is with at said location rather than just where he is.

Suspected affair - Tracking a mobile phone

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