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  • FIRST POST
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 30th Dec 17, 5:01 PM
    • 6,105Posts
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    AlexLK
    Renovations and Repayments II: New Year, New Start, New Diary.
    • #1
    • 30th Dec 17, 5:01 PM
    Renovations and Repayments II: New Year, New Start, New Diary. 30th Dec 17 at 5:01 PM
    2018 is almost upon us and is set to be the year I get my finances in order.

    So, what's changed since the start, middle, end of my last diary?
    - Regular income is up
    - Gained some knowledge of how to use a spreadsheet to budget
    - In a much better position to make steps towards positive change
    - My wife and I are working as a team
    - Unless anything drastically changes our son is staying at the local school

    What do I want to achieve?
    - Regular and realistic amounts to savings each month
    - Make the mortgage payment up to 1,000 each month
    - Get a better rate on our mortgage
    - Get rid of a lot of things we don't need ... OK that's business as usual
    - Finish the house and consider our options (staying in current house or using the equity to move somewhere new - not to my childhood home and if I mention this, please feel free to point me to this starting post)
    - Monthly targets for both financial and personal goals
    2018 totals:
    Savings 11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments 5,500
Page 18
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 14th May 18, 8:39 AM
    • 56,245 Posts
    • 227,413 Thanks
    beanielou
    Have a good week.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 14th May 18, 11:36 PM
    • 6,105 Posts
    • 32,352 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Glad the wedding went well Alex

    It's true what you say, you think people you haven't seen for years will all still be as they were when we ourselves have moved on. Had to laugh at the overweight balding 'vain' friend
    Originally posted by newgirly
    Thanks, NG.

    I shouldn't laugh but it was amusing to see him after a long time. He was the sort of person to tell everyone he would always look after himself and wouldn't end up how he has. Now he boasts about having enough money to "keep" his family in a house in the country and have a flat in London for his work. Different type of vanity, I suppose.

    I know what you mean about people moving on and things changing. We invited lots of old friends and family to a large party a few years ago and were really surprised when most rellies turned us down because they were too old to travel to a party...

    And then there was a friend we had only been in scant contact with for a few years who now has a serious heart condition. It really makes us focus on our positive circumstances (despite being old and too fat, and still in debt).

    A bit of comparison never hurt any of us, providing we have a sense of perspective - which you do.
    Originally posted by Suffolk lass
    That's very sad, SL. I notice my parents getting older and more frail, especially my father.

    To be honest, I was dreading seeing some of the people I saw over the weekend as I'd built up an image of them having perfect lives, marriages, all being very prosperous and a walking, living image of success whilst I've been through some very difficult times. Not the case at all: none have perfect lives and most are married to prim little princesses with little else going on in their lives than gossip, shopping and coffee mornings.

    Without getting to philosophical on a Sunday morning, i think its all a part of appreciating our own sense of self! It'll have been happening for hundreds of years, however i do fear for our own kids having to do it through the glare of "un-social media".

    Sounds like you had a great day and are motivated for your next life phase!

    Now get that decluttering sorted. My advice is to declutter the storage units as well as the junk that's in them!
    Originally posted by shangaijimmy
    I think you're right, Jimmy.

    Certainly has left me thinking things aren't so bad these days. Also hope my son doesn't become too interested in social media as he gets older.

    Life phase ... hope you don't mean middle age?

    Decluttering has begun and I have over 2,000 worth of good up for sale at the moment. Advice taken on board; we are planning to get rid of a few cabinets also.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments 5,500
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 14th May 18, 11:46 PM
    • 6,105 Posts
    • 32,352 Thanks
    AlexLK
    That same comparison can be really surprising ... I was in the mood to google the names of the people I was seeing in the photos I was scanning. Searched for one girl who grew up in the town next door to me, very well off (father was a bank manager, a big deal back then), and she married a JRR Tolkien relative. I met her at polytechnic. But at a certain point, finances etc don't mean a thing - she died at the age of 53.

    I'd feel more comfortable saying "live your life" if I wasn' t stuck at home with a lurgy that finds me unable to talk ...
    Originally posted by Karmacat
    Hope you get well soon, Karmacat.

    To be honest, I don't think finances mean a lot at all without your health (unless being used to aid recovery).

    Glad all went well yesterday.
    Happy decluttering!
    Originally posted by beanielou
    Thank you, beanie.

    Congratulations on collecting some more wisdom yesterday, Alex!

    It sounds like a lovely day and well done on being such a good Best Man!
    Originally posted by PositiveBalance
    Thank you, PB.

    Certainly felt like I did collect some more wisdom. Mrs. K. did too .... 4kg to deal with is not the same as c.30kg, it doesn't mean I'm grossly overweight and she should be pleased I can still fit into clothes I wore when I was a student.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments 5,500
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 14th May 18, 11:48 PM
    • 6,105 Posts
    • 32,352 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Have a good week.
    Originally posted by beanielou
    Thank you, Beanie. Going to try my best to.

    Certainly started well with beautiful weather, an easy day work wise, nice food cooked and consumed and a couple of good walks.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments 5,500
    • Karmacat
    • By Karmacat 15th May 18, 11:04 AM
    • 29,596 Posts
    • 170,324 Thanks
    Karmacat
    Thanks Alex, my throat is definitely starting to get better again.

    You sound like this weekend just gone has been *so* positive for you, its brilliant
    Retired August 2016
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 15th May 18, 4:35 PM
    • 6,105 Posts
    • 32,352 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Thanks, Karmacat. Glad to hear you're on the mend.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments 5,500
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 15th May 18, 11:26 PM
    • 6,105 Posts
    • 32,352 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Been out for a long walk tonight. Apparently the weather is set to be not as nice tomorrow so going to try to do a little more decluttering tomorrow evening.

    Parenting can be very frustrating at times! My son has managed to fall out with three friends today at school but refuses to tell me why. Can't say I'm pleased about this as he seems to make progress so far with schoolfriends only to fall out with them. Recently I've caught him saying a few superior things to others, quite silly and boastful things but the kind of behaviour which would potentially make others like him a bit less than if he didn't like the sound of his own voice quite so much. My cousin had to tell him off the other week for calling another child a "peasant".
    2018 totals:
    Savings 11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments 5,500
    • Bluefire
    • By Bluefire 16th May 18, 3:08 AM
    • 470 Posts
    • 2,977 Thanks
    Bluefire
    My cousin had to tell him off the other week for calling another child a "peasant".
    Originally posted by AlexLK
    Where is he getting this from do you think? Who in his life is he spending time with that's influencing his behaviour in this way?
    Mortgage: 08/13 28,896.49 01/18 0

    • Karmacat
    • By Karmacat 16th May 18, 12:23 PM
    • 29,596 Posts
    • 170,324 Thanks
    Karmacat
    As far as fallouts go though, Alex, it happens all the time - keep an eye on it, of course, but experimenting with who you are and who you like is what an awful lot of childhood is actually about
    Retired August 2016
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 16th May 18, 3:38 PM
    • 3,042 Posts
    • 8,035 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel

    To be honest, I was dreading seeing some of the people I saw over the weekend as I'd built up an image of them having perfect lives, marriages, all being very prosperous and a walking, living image of success whilst I've been through some very difficult times. Not the case at all: none have perfect lives and most are married to prim little princesses with little else going on in their lives than gossip, shopping and coffee mornings.
    Originally posted by AlexLK
    While I think its great that you have had your eyes opened a bit to the realities of everybody's lives, please don't be judgemental about these women. Meeting them on one Saturday at a wedding doesn't give you any clue about what might have happened/be happening in their lives, just as they wouldn't know the full story about what you've overcome by meeting you that one occasion.
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 17th May 18, 12:22 AM
    • 6,105 Posts
    • 32,352 Thanks
    AlexLK
    No decluttering done or work to the kitchen as the weather was not so bad. We had another good walk with the dogs instead followed by a drive.

    Where is he getting this from do you think? Who in his life is he spending time with that's influencing his behaviour in this way?
    Originally posted by Bluefire
    My parents, most likely.

    As far as fallouts go though, Alex, it happens all the time - keep an eye on it, of course, but experimenting with who you are and who you like is what an awful lot of childhood is actually about
    Originally posted by Karmacat
    Thank you, Karma. It can be very easy to lose sight of this fact sometimes.

    By his account he's kept himself out of trouble today and was allowed to play the piano to the rest of the school today.

    While I think its great that you have had your eyes opened a bit to the realities of everybody's lives, please don't be judgemental about these women. Meeting them on one Saturday at a wedding doesn't give you any clue about what might have happened/be happening in their lives, just as they wouldn't know the full story about what you've overcome by meeting you that one occasion.
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    Food for thought, thank you, RS.

    To be honest, the comments came from their husbands. By their accounts a lot of them had children and in the process seem to have changed.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments 5,500
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 17th May 18, 6:57 AM
    • 3,042 Posts
    • 8,035 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    To be honest, the comments came from their husbands. By their accounts a lot of them had children and in the process seem to have changed.
    Originally posted by AlexLK
    Not surprising really, having your son changed you didn't it?

    Those comments would make me lose a touch of respect for the husbands, not the wives.
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 28th May 18, 10:22 PM
    • 6,105 Posts
    • 32,352 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Can't quite believe another month is just about over and we're nearly half way through the year.

    Not been in a great place for the last week or so but getting through trying to be positive about things. To be honest, I think life is just a bit too busy at the moment and I have a lot to think about.

    Almost spent a lot of money on a couple of occasions but managed to avoid it.

    Red Squirrel: I suppose they were bemoaning their wives conforming to more traditional stereotypes and becoming less outgoing upon seeing my wife has not become affected in that way by age / children / anything else.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments 5,500
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 28th May 18, 10:44 PM
    • 56,245 Posts
    • 227,413 Thanks
    beanielou
    Keep plodding.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 3rd Jun 18, 10:37 PM
    • 6,105 Posts
    • 32,352 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Had an awful week: struggling with parenting , struggling with my own parents and unsure what solutions are available. I've found making time to do things with my son this half term very difficult, despite thinking about a break away we just worked and I'm feeling quite guilty he's basically spent the week with my cousin. Wife doesn't see this as a problem, of course. My father seems to be completely exhausted without any medical explanation. They've told my parents he's just "overdone things" and "the weather" is a likely contributory factor. Mother flew off the handle at a visiting medical professional for apparently suggesting some alterations to their property.

    Updated our financial records for May which weren't terrible. In June I want to get back on track and work out year to date totals.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments 5,500
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 3rd Jun 18, 11:17 PM
    • 1,584 Posts
    • 7,797 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    How does your son feel about going to your cousin's this holiday?

    Haven't you got the most amazing African safari trip coming up? Doesn't that mean you need to reserve your annual leave for that?

    Sadly parents need to tackle these juggling acts all the time. A family I know, at the moment, get 1 week a year off together as the rest of the parent's annual leave has to be taken separately in order to cover holiday child care. (No family cover available)
    They could put their child in a Holiday club, but they've decided to sacrifice longer family holidays for now (in favour of weekends away) so that the children get to spend as much time as possible with their parents, it's just separate at the moment.

    Another family their children go for a week at one set of grandparents (north east) a week at the other grandparents (southwest) and a week at their Auntie's house to cover the summer holidays (they then get to spend a couple of days at the end of the holiday with me, poor souls)

    No situation is ever entirely ideal, we do what's best for our child with 'Big picture thinking' just as you are encouraged to weigh up your healthy eating habits over the course of a day or week, weigh up your parenting choices over a longer period of time. Childcare for 4 days at May half term v an awesome once in a lifetime (for some anyway) trip overseas.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 1600ish/2,500
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Jun 18, 10:19 AM
    • 56,245 Posts
    • 227,413 Thanks
    beanielou
    Sorry that things are tough.
    Keep plodding.

    You know I think at times my parenting was dire but at nearly 25 my DS is a lovely young man
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Brodiebobs
    • By Brodiebobs 4th Jun 18, 8:23 PM
    • 775 Posts
    • 3,306 Thanks
    Brodiebobs
    We all feel the parent guilt, especially in hols. Mine get shipped from pillar to post to avoid paying circa 30 each per day for care.

    They often grumble about it, especially if at Grandparents who are boring but we explain we have to work. We've had a 5 day holiday together, the rest of our annual leave is split to cover hols, but we still have 15 days unaccounted for.

    I'm sure from what you've said previously your lad enjoys spending time at your cousins? So id take comfort in that.
    Addicted to MSE.
    Overpaying mortgage for a better debt free life!
    • newgirly
    • By newgirly 4th Jun 18, 10:54 PM
    • 6,406 Posts
    • 44,336 Thanks
    newgirly
    You know I think at times my parenting was dire but at nearly 25 my DS is a lovely young man [/QUOTE]

    I love that comment beanielou, I've yet to meet a good parent who thinks they've done a perfect job! If he's turned out well, I'm sure some of the credit must go your way

    Sorry things are stressful Alex, don't beat yourself up about your cousin having your son - he probably prefers it if there are horses involved Accept that it's normal to feel a bit guilty whatever you do (stay at home/work) we all feel like that at some point, but if he's happy it's not worth dwelling on
    MFW 21
    Target for 2018 40k/13,632 paid so far

    Mortgage 36,193 3yrs 9 mths left. Total owed 47,059 plan to clear in 12 months
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 4th Jun 18, 11:52 PM
    • 6,105 Posts
    • 32,352 Thanks
    AlexLK
    How does your son feel about going to your cousin's this holiday?

    Haven't you got the most amazing African safari trip coming up? Doesn't that mean you need to reserve your annual leave for that?

    Sadly parents need to tackle these juggling acts all the time. A family I know, at the moment, get 1 week a year off together as the rest of the parent's annual leave has to be taken separately in order to cover holiday child care. (No family cover available)
    They could put their child in a Holiday club, but they've decided to sacrifice longer family holidays for now (in favour of weekends away) so that the children get to spend as much time as possible with their parents, it's just separate at the moment.

    Another family their children go for a week at one set of grandparents (north east) a week at the other grandparents (southwest) and a week at their Auntie's house to cover the summer holidays (they then get to spend a couple of days at the end of the holiday with me, poor souls)

    No situation is ever entirely ideal, we do what's best for our child with 'Big picture thinking' just as you are encouraged to weigh up your healthy eating habits over the course of a day or week, weigh up your parenting choices over a longer period of time. Childcare for 4 days at May half term v an awesome once in a lifetime (for some anyway) trip overseas.
    Originally posted by wishingthemortgaheaway
    Thank you, Wishing, I really appreciate your reply.

    My son loves being at my cousin's and I think being there is a good influence on him.

    Annual leave is indeed the problem. It's not something I've needed to think about since before my son was born until now and the trip later in the year has taken a lot of it. My wife keeps telling me that our son enjoys being with my cousin and there's nothing wrong with the situation. She's happy I've found myself a job I want to do and progress in and thinks this is providing a good example to our son despite me not being at home so much. I suppose I'm just questioning my actions and wondering if I'm being selfish. Felt a lot better today as he's back at school.

    Sorry that things are tough.
    Keep plodding.

    You know I think at times my parenting was dire but at nearly 25 my DS is a lovely young man
    Originally posted by beanielou
    Thank you, beanie.

    Hope I can say that about my son when he's that age, doubt my parents could about me.

    We all feel the parent guilt, especially in hols. Mine get shipped from pillar to post to avoid paying circa 30 each per day for care.

    They often grumble about it, especially if at Grandparents who are boring but we explain we have to work. We've had a 5 day holiday together, the rest of our annual leave is split to cover hols, but we still have 15 days unaccounted for.

    I'm sure from what you've said previously your lad enjoys spending time at your cousins? So id take comfort in that.
    Originally posted by Brodiebobs
    Thank you, brodie.

    As mentioned before he loves going to my cousin's. Wouldn't be surprised if he'd choose to live there if given the opportunity.

    It's helping to know it's not just me. I suppose I don't need the job, in a way I wish I did as my mind wouldn't question my motives. Keep thinking what if my son thinks I'm choosing to be selfish.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments 5,500
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