The new WAGs - Worried And Guilty

Let the kids sort themselves out.

I don't have kids, so it's easy for me to say, but I think you've done your bit supporting them through further education. They are now adults and need to learn to stand on their own feet. Your parents struggled, and you probably did too when you were their age. At that age you don't feel it as much as you do when you are older. You are hardier & more resilient. It is part of the fun of being young. Don't rob them of that.

What I say to my own parents (who are in their 90s, & want to give their money away to their kids and grandkids) is that that is what their Wills are for. As long as they are alive, they may need the money for themselves.

At their age they do not want to go on holidays or buy cars for themselves, but they may well need money for house adaptations (stair lifts, walk-in baths etc.), mobility scooters, house repairs & replacements, or moving home to sheltered accommodation.

They already need one hour a day of professional care / home help (which they pay for), but in the future, the amount of help they need will probably increase. And they may eventually need to move to a Care Home.

The more they can fund themselves, the more control they have. If they don't like a particular carer or care home, they can switch instantly, no questions asked. It would not be so easy (more awkward and delicate) if the Council was providing the funding.

Your children are adults; it is now time to look after yourself. Any money you end up not needing for yourself, will go to them anyway, in your Will. And they will likely get it when they are in their 50s or 60s, when they are close to retirement and soon to be unable to earn more money for themselves. Also at an age when they are more responsible, and less likely to blow the cash on expensive holidays, cars, parties, weddings, and divorces.

As for student debt, Martin has said numerous times to not look on it as debt, but as a very safe, and lucrative, investment. They will not have to repay it at all if they are average earners. Even if they are high earners (in which case you should not be worried about them) they will only be subject to a limited level of extra tax (9%?) in order to repay it. And, if it is not repaid after something like 30 years, the debt is cancelled.

I don't know her history, but perhaps if your mother in law had been a bit more selfish with her money, you would not have to worry so much about her now; she would have enough to take care of herself financially.
Don't do that to your kids.

I wouldn't feel guilty as others have said, you have given your kids the best possible start in life. Now it's up to them!

Peelerfart wrote: »

I did read an article, somewhere, a long time ago, that the only people who worry about student debt are the parents.
If theyre studying degrees in proper subjects i.e. not history of Peruvian clock making, they should be fine.

And if they are studying the history of Peruvian clock making, then they will still be fine as they won't ever have to pay it back. Unless of course they become a renowned expert on Peruvian clock making and earn significantly over the student loan repayment threshold as a result.

It's the taxpayer that needs to worry about student debt.

Their subjects should get them something I'm sure but there is a lot of responsibility on them nowadays and it is harder to get a job with a degree now than when I was 21....

It is just as easy to get a job with the sort of degrees that were available when you were 21. When you were 21 you had to be at least one of well-off, well-connected and highly intelligent to get a degree. Highly intelligent and well-connected people still find it easy to get jobs.