Completely lost...

Hello all and thank you in advance for any assistance you can provide.

My STBX wife and I separated in September 2017. We were married for 19 years and have 2 daughters (aged 17yrs and 13yrs).

We rent the FMH and i was the one who moved out and am currently living with parents.

My ex hasn't worked since the kids were born and i am the only bread winner. Since the aplit i have still been paying the rent and the bills.i work as a civil servant but haven't been paying into my pension for the last 3yrs due to our financial crisis. There are no assets or savings, my ex is originally from. The USA so has no family here.

I have tried to get legal aid and legal advice but with no success.

I need to know what should i be paying for, can i do a clean break order and if so how and what should i offer?, if anything? I have done the divorce petition myself and have it ready to send to the courts.

I have had conflicting advice from local solicitors and now i am more confused than ever.... Please help!

Comments

  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229
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    What grounds are you divorcing on?


    In anycase typically you would just pay child maintenance. Your ex needs to be claiming benefits, and really looking for work.
  • Caz3121
    Caz3121 Posts: 15,534
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    Since the aplit i have still been paying the rent and the bills.

    are you paying this in lieu of child maintenance or in addition to?
  • Hello and thank you.

    Yes at the moment i am paying for everything on lieu of CM.
    I think i can apply for a clean break order but i am not sure and my STBX is refusing all communication and attempts at contact.

    I am divorcing on grounds of her unreasonable behaviour.
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,198
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    Is your wife entitled to work and/or claim benefits in this country?

    Given the ages of the children, unless either of them has disabilities or other special needs, it is likely to be reasonable for your wife to look for work so she can become self-supporting.

    In the mean time, if she is eligible, she could apply for benefits.

    Having moved our, you should take steps to remove your name from the household bills, in the same way that you would if you were moving house for any other reason. You might, in the short term, need to keep providing some support to your wife to pay them, but you want your name off them.

    Same with the tenancy - if it is in your name or joint names, you are liable to the landlord whether or not you live there, so the sooner you can get your name off, the better. In practice, you may need to wait until any fixed term comes to an end, or until your wife has found a job.

    Use the CMS calculator to work out what you child support liability is.

    If your wife is not entitled to work in this country, do you know what steps she would need to take to get to that point?
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
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