When sharing the expenses 50/50, isn't 50/50.

2

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  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,551
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    pinkshoes wrote: »
    You need to sit down and set up a maintenance budget for daily, weekly, monthly and yearly expenses.

    e.g. Washing machine £500 every 7 years, freezer £300 every 10 years, toilet roll £4/week.

    List ALL items that are used in a spreadsheet, decide between you costs and realistic life spans, then work out on average how much per MONTH this will cost. Put this money into a separate account e.g. Both pay £40/month.

    I suggest YOU manage it.

    If neither of you want to sell up and go your own way, this has to be the answer.
  • AdamPD
    AdamPD Posts: 206
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    Would a financial advisor or company be able to handle that kind of thing? or does it have to be done by the individual? (Working out costs per month and income etc)

    The only reason I let my dad handle the finances is because I am dyslexic, so I am terrible with things like that, I genuinely get really overwhelmed with it.
  • BorisThomson
    BorisThomson Posts: 1,721
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    AdamPD wrote: »
    I know, I'm just trying to make it work here you know? I don't want to sell because when he dies (IF he eventually gets his will sorted), his share will pass to me.

    This house was bought for 180k and the estimate of it's value now is almost 300k.

    So it'll be an investment at the end of the day.

    So you want his money when he dies but you also want his money now.

    I'd suggest Dad pays more now, and then leaves his estate to somewhere more grateful.
  • AdamPD
    AdamPD Posts: 206
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    So you want his money when he dies but you also want his money now.

    I'd suggest Dad pays more now, and then leaves his estate to somewhere more grateful.

    I'm not that cold, but right now it is a business as others have said.

    IF I can get the house solely in my name next year, he won't have to worry about paying any bills or anything towards maintenance, he will be able to live there indefinitely for free.

    But as it stands right now, I'm the only one paying for all the big expenses in this house, including a boiler which has to be replaced this year, because it's got rust in the containment/heating vessel (I forget the proper term), to which he hasn't offered anything towards.

    Plus 1/3rd of the house still belongs to my uncle, who moved out 5-6 years ago and left us with a mortgage debt/damaged credit.
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430
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    To be honest, this is more about your communication issues with your dad than anything else. It's been going on for a while (from your posts) and nothing changes.

    Looks like you need mediation of some sort (is there a friend/relation who could do that) as opposed to bringing in someone from "outside" who is more likely to make it worse.
  • AdamPD
    AdamPD Posts: 206
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    NeilCr wrote: »
    To be honest, this is more about your communication issues with your dad than anything else. It's been going on for a while (from your posts) and nothing changes.

    Looks like you need mediation of some sort (is there a friend/relation who could do that) as opposed to bringing in someone from "outside" who is more likely to make it worse.

    Yea I agree, I don't like conflict, so I just go along with it, but it's times like this it escalates because something needs replacing that's expensive.
  • Pixie5740
    Pixie5740 Posts: 14,515
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    AdamPD wrote: »
    I know, I'm just trying to make it work here you know? I don't want to sell because when he dies (IF he eventually gets his will sorted), his share will pass to me.

    This house was bought for 180k and the estimate of it's value now is almost 300k.

    So it'll be an investment at the end of the day

    I'm hoping to remortgage next year when I have 3 years of self employment books/accounts behind me, because I'll have enough (hopefully) to remortgage and remove both of them (legally I should say!)

    I'll have to strike up a deal with him and the uncle to remove them I'm sure, but if they aren't interested, then yea, I'll push to sell.

    Many thanks for the advice and support from you all, though.

    No I don't know. What I do know is that the property I own, the property I live in is my home not an investment, and I share it with people that I not only like but love as well.

    You don't like living with lodgers and you don't seem to particularly like living with your father. Is the money that you think you might eventually get worth it? Getting a mortgage whilst using equity gifted from someone who will continue to live in the property will be tricky. There's also Capital Gains Tax to consider as you have more than one lodger living there at the same time.
  • AdamPD
    AdamPD Posts: 206
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    There's a lot to factor in, I know, but we/I need to remortgage, because we have one of those odd half interest, half repayment mortgages, so in 10 years or so, only half the mortgage will have been paid off.

    I don't consider this a home, for the simple reason other people live here that are effectively strangers to me, we have two lodgers in two room, we have no lounge area to relax in, just our bedrooms.

    I don't know anymore, I can't sell and get my own place because it's just too expensive to buy here now and there's the complication that my uncle will get a third of any equity in the property, despite not adding anything to it and leaving us in debt.

    It's just a mess.
  • NBLondon
    NBLondon Posts: 5,517
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    Have you considered taking out a large life insurance policy on Dad and Uncle - and then inviting them on a walk along Beachy Head?
    Wash your Knobs and Knockers... Keep the Postie safe!
  • Malthusian
    Malthusian Posts: 10,898
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    NBLondon wrote: »
    Have you considered taking out a large life insurance policy on Dad and Uncle - and then inviting them on a walk along Beachy Head?

    Probably a waste of money as I don't see an insurable interest here. Even if the OP got away with it, the insurance wouldn't pay out as the OP does not suffer a loss on his dad's death.

    Personally I would do what the OP's uncle has apparently done, and walk away from the whole mess.
    AdamPD wrote:
    I know, I'm just trying to make it work here you know? I don't want to sell because when he dies (IF he eventually gets his will sorted), his share will pass to me.

    What does that have to do with it? If you sell, you will have cash (which you could use as a deposit on a mortgage) and your Dad will have cash. On his death, the cash would pass to you, exactly the same as the share of the house would. IF he sorts his Will out.

    The "IF" suggests that you don't actually stand to inherit anything at the moment, which makes this even more irrelevant. What's the point of basing your decisions on an inheritance which you may never get?

    You might say "If we sell he might spend the cash" but that makes no difference as he could spend his share of the house if he wanted, by borrowing money. Whether you sell the property or not makes no difference - either way you could receive nothing, if he spends all the cash or if he borrows money and the debt swallows up the value of his 1/3rd of the house.

    Is your area so outstandingly fabulously desirable that it's better to live with your Dad and two lodgers in an arrangement you dislike, than to have your own place somewhere you can afford to buy using your third of the money from selling the house?
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