When sharing the expenses 50/50, isn't 50/50.

AdamPD · 15 April 2018 at 8:29AM

Hi all,

So I co own my home with my father, we split the bills 50/50, although there have been numerous times my father has "accidentally" charged me more for a bill and pocketed the cash for himself, so I make a point of going over what we have coming in, vs going out.

We have lodgers in our home to take care of all the bills and mortgage.

The problem I'm faced with right now and it's been an issue for a while, is when an item of expense, such as an appliance, needs to be replaced.

When an appliance is coming to the end of it's life, I replace it before it breaks down, because we have lodgers, they need to be able to wash their clothes, cook their meals and of course keep their food frozen/fresh in the fridge freezers they each have.

So I've basically been the one who's bought ALL the appliances in the house, the oven, the dishwasher, the washing machine, the tumble dryer, the two fridge freezers for the lodgers and my dad didn't offer to pay anything towards the cost of any of them.

And anytime he does offer to replace something that's broken down completely, he always buys it as cheap as possible and rarely, if ever, brand new, it's always second hand crap that's dented/damaged and never lasts more than a few months.

So now our washing machine's bearings are going, it's 8 years old, is used by 4 people, so it has done pretty well.

But it cost me around £700 and I've mentioned four times now that it needs to be replaced, but he hasn't offered to buy one, or asked me to help him buy one, he just shrugs it off.

And I know what's going to happen, it will break down, like the fridge freezer and he will go and spend £100 on a defunct, damaged one from a local shop which deals with damaged second hand goods, then it will last 6 months, tops a year, then he'll expect me to buy the next one.

It just drives me nuts.

Artytarty · 15 April 2018 at 8:34AM

Dad, I need you to give me £450 towards the new washing machine!!!

Or set up an account with direct debits every month from each of you to cover such expenses.
This situation is grossly unfair and it sounds like your father is taking advantage of your softer nature and more cautious and sensible attitude.

Detroit · 15 April 2018 at 8:48AM

You need to sit down with your father and have a formal discussion about how you're going to manage your joint responsibilities as landlords.

While it may seem domestic between you and your father, it is actually a business where you are charging people for a service. A professional approach should be taken.

At the end of your discussion, you need to agree on:

1.What facilities you are providing your lodgers

2.What standard of facilities you will offer, which can be reflected in their payments

3.How expenses will be financed between you any your father. Does it have to be 50/50 if your father can't afford the standards you agree upon? Could you pay more for a greater return?

It may be helpful to actually get this down on paper to focus your thoughts.

It seems the two of you have very different approaches to this at present, and problems are occurring every time it comes up, with you doing what you think is right, and your father the same, then getting frustrated when the other doesn't want to go along with it.

It needs to be agreed properly, if only for the benefit of your lodgers who are entitled to a consistent approach to the facilities they are paying for.

Tabbytabitha · 15 April 2018 at 9:15AM

I'd compromise on the cost of the equipment if you want him to go half - second hand at £100 is inadequate but £700 for a new washing machine is unnecessarily expensive. At least try to get him to pay £130/£150 as half of a typical machine - if you choose to pay top dollar it's unreasonable to expect him to pay half so you should make up the difference.

ognum · 15 April 2018 at 9:25AM

When the rent is paid you should have a replacement / repair account and t his should be topped up each month so that you don!!!8217;t need to discuss who pays the joint repair account pays!

Ilona · 15 April 2018 at 9:30AM

Agree with Detroit, your home is a business, you and your father are joint directors. Your income comes from lodgers so if it is meant to cover all outgoing expenses you need to keep account books. There should be a business bank account where all money in and out is recorded. Any money spent on updating appliances should be discussed between the two of you and a price agreed before the item is bought. That's how I see it.

Ilona

pinkshoes · 15 April 2018 at 9:32AM

You need to sit down and set up a maintenance budget for daily, weekly, monthly and yearly expenses.

e.g. Washing machine £500 every 7 years, freezer £300 every 10 years, toilet roll £4/week.

List ALL items that are used in a spreadsheet, decide between you costs and realistic life spans, then work out on average how much per MONTH this will cost. Put this money into a separate account e.g. Both pay £40/month.

I suggest YOU manage it.

Pixie5740 · 15 April 2018 at 3:12PM

You have multiple threads about the issues you have living with your father. Why don't you just sell the property and go your separate ways? IIRC part of the mortgage is interest only so unless you've got a plan to repay the capital you'll be forced to sell eventually anyway.

Marvel1 · 15 April 2018 at 4:14PM

I knew this sorted too familiar:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5741798

Best off selling.

As a quick check there are 71 washing machines brand new in Currys under £300.

AdamPD · 15 April 2018 at 5:08PM

Pixie5740 wrote: »

You have multiple threads about the issues you have living with your father. Why don't you just sell the property and go your separate ways? IIRC part of the mortgage is interest only so unless you've got a plan to repay the capital you'll be forced to sell eventually anyway.

I know, I'm just trying to make it work here you know? I don't want to sell because when he dies (IF he eventually gets his will sorted), his share will pass to me.

This house was bought for 180k and the estimate of it's value now is almost 300k.

So it'll be an investment at the end of the day

I'm hoping to remortgage next year when I have 3 years of self employment books/accounts behind me, because I'll have enough (hopefully) to remortgage and remove both of them (legally I should say!)

I'll have to strike up a deal with him and the uncle to remove them I'm sure, but if they aren't interested, then yea, I'll push to sell.

Many thanks for the advice and support from you all, though.

AdamPD · 15 April 2018 at 5:41PM

But as far as selling goes, he won't want to sell, because that means he will have to get a flat and pay the bills by himself.

He's grown accustomed to having lodgers paying all his bills for him.

When sharing the expenses 50/50, isn't 50/50.

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