Money Moral Dilemma: Should my husband pay more towards bills while I'm on maternity leave?
Comments
-
I think if you are married you might as well share your finances. But if you don't want to then I would say that it would be fair if your husband 'paid' you for childcare so to speak. That's what my partner and me did, ie we are not married and we have separate finances, and when we had children then during my maternity leave he would give me half his salary (minus the maternity pay I received) and we carried on paying half the bills from our half each. By having separate finances we avoid all arguments about money, ie each of us can do with their left-over whatever they like without any discussions or resentment, it has worked great for us for the last 20 years.
0 -
I have a sister that works full time in a supermarket, she is 18. She recently found out that she is 3 months pregnant and immediately after finding out has taken 2-3 days off a week sick (after being told by her employee that she can take as much time off without question due to being pregnant - huge supermarket chain, likely doesn't want to deal with pregnancy discrimination claims), refuses to do any manual labour (as in, stacking shelves) and frequently refuses to do things as 'I'm Pregnant!'.
In the last place I worked, we had a young full time accounts lady who also fell pregnant. From around the 8 week mark, we'd be lucky to see her two days a week. This was for 7 months until she was fully off for a year maternity leave, it's almost to the point where we're forgot what she looks like.
Obviously, these are two pregnancies I've been associated with so they will taint my view. I also appreciate that carrying a child does place physical and emotional strain on women however I think it's bold to plainly suggest that men should pay more as the woman has had to struggle with carrying the child for 9 months (and deserves another year off because f**k shared parent leave right?). Whilst it obviously depends on the circumstances, there are women that have quite a cushy time being pregnant.
This utter rubbish could only be spouted by a man or a childless woman. Who are you to know that these poor women weren't sat with their head over the toilet bowl for months and months? Or regularly passing out? Or any one of a huge number of other complications that can go with being pregnant? I genuinely don't believe that there's a woman alive that has a 'cushy time' being pregnant - for God's sake - they are growing another human being, it's completely knackering, you are running to the loo every 5 minutes, you need to eat more, some women get pelvic pain problems and I could go on and on.
Your ignorance shows!Minimalist
Extra income since 01/11/12 £36,546.450 -
This utter rubbish could only be spouted by a man or a childless woman. Who are you to know that these poor women weren't sat with their head over the toilet bowl for months and months? Or regularly passing out? Or any one of a huge number of other complications that can go with being pregnant? I genuinely don't believe that there's a woman alive that has a 'cushy time' being pregnant - for God's sake - they are growing another human being, it's completely knackering, you are running to the loo every 5 minutes, you need to eat more, some women get pelvic pain problems and I could go on and on.
Your ignorance shows!
In the case of my sister, it would seem that her unblemished sickness report instantly (and I literally mean the same week) took a beating the second she found out she was pregnant - my older sister who is a supervisor at the same place humorously pointed it out to me. In hindsight, instead of laughing at the coincidences, I should have pointed out that no woman has ever taken advantage of being pregnant, she is ignorant and that my older sister must be a man or a childless woman for thinking otherwise. Even if she was bright and bubbly before finding out, has my older sister not acknowledged that she may have been regularly passing out during her lunch breaks? Yeah, I'm sure there's not a single woman alive that has taken any advantage from it. What was it, my ignorance shows? Right.Know what you don't0 -
As has been posted below, whatever happened to marriage being a union of equal partners, so that everything is owned equally between husband and wife? If you and your husband were to divorce, that would be the basis of the divorce settlement. With regard to your house, every penny invested in it would go towards the increase in its value - which both of you would benefit from. And when your child is born, will you also want to divide the financial responsibilty incurred in bringing him/her up?0
-
I know I'm having the time off, but it's my husband's baby too - should he be paying more while I'm on maternity leave?
He's saving on his share of childcare (presumably you will be splitting those costs?) with you being on maternity leave, so yes, he should contribute more as you're not currently earning. Perhaps calculate how much you'd be spending between you on childcare if you went back to work early, and he can contribute his half of that toward the bills until you're back at work.0 -
Seems like a case of what is my money is mine & your money is ours!
Surely as a couple any money whether saved or earned is all part of the household pot. The arrangement you had prior to having your baby may have worked for that time but having children very quickly focuses your attitude to financial affairs. Raising children cost thousands of pounds so both your attitudes need to change on who’s money is who’s, it’s both your money!
I suggest sitting down together and agree any money is combined and a budget is agreed on how it is spent and or saved.
If you were separated I could understand the dilemma but your together.....aren’t you?0 -
Money is one of the main problems between couples. My wife & I have never argued about it. We have always had joint bank & credit card accounts.0
-
If, as a married couple you decided to keep your accounts separate then that's your decision. BUT, you knew that your finances were going to be affected 9 months previously so why didn't you plan ahead? For example you could have set up a joint account to pay for things, having previously agreed how much you were each going to contribute to the pot.0
-
This is one of those situations where you must wish it had been talked about at the initial planning stage of the project but it is never too late to talk. It seems that you did not realise how quickly the money would flow out of your account. So, it is probably that your husband thinks you are happy to continue paying and has no idea of either how much you have saved or how quickly it is being reduced. Once he understands the reality of the situation he will probably come good. This conversation will probably lead to other things that need some clarification and revision between you.
I doubt whether he would wish to change places with you at any time during your pregnancy, even taking into account the time you say you are "having off", especially when you give birth! And "time off" ceases to exist after that which again is likely to involve you more than it involves your husband unless he is a really a "hands on Dad". Very Best Wishes to you both. Bobbie.0 -
Firstly how on earth have you managed to save £23K prior to maternity leave, if you have saved this then surely you were in a good financial position to start with.
All bills whether you are married or not should be split down the middle if you live together. We have a joint account for bills that we both put exactly the same amount in and then seperate accounts for our own spending once everything is paid.
Yes you are having the time off but whilst you are off, you will actually be costing more in the household by using electricity, gas, water and so on that would never normally be used during the day if you were both at work.
I've had 2 children and during my maternity leave (both having 1 year off), we planned beforehand with the money and made sure with what went into the bank the bills were paid but allowed ourselves less spending money during this period.
Your also getting the extra time with the baby, whilst hubby is at work. So make the most of it and be the partnership you
should be during your marriage0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
- 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 449.7K Spending & Discounts
- 235.2K Work, Benefits & Business
- 608K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 173K Life & Family
- 247.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards