Old style as an escape from the world?

I think we've all had that feeling at times! I highly recommend the Marie Kondo thread. Decluttering has been the key to lots of other things for me. It's definitely not about minimalism, it's about keeping the stuff that you know brings you joy - so keep those cushions and doilies, but have them on display where you can enjoy them and really appreciate them, not hidden under too much stuff.

One thing I learned from that thread was that I've spent most of my life trying to sort, file organise and store stuff when in fact, I just had too much - adding more storage isn't the answer. (Bear with me, there's an analogy here!). I've also spent a lot of my life rushing around, wanting to do lots of different things and wondering why I can't manage it all. It's taken me a long time to realise that I have just tried to fit too much in !!!8211; a bit like the storage! It just wasn't feasible to work full time, commute for two hours a day, do various charity things, keep on top of the garden, cook from scratch and knit and sew ... I ended up exhausted, and not really doing any of it very well. In my case it was the full-time job that went, but that's not an option for everyone.

The point about the 'simple living' thread is that sometimes it's not just about being old style. Simplifying life for you might mean getting a cleaner, shopping online, or buying preprepared stuff if you can afford it. However I definitely think decluttering will help. If I want to bake or sew now, at least the table is usually clear and I know where to find all the bits I need, and cleaning is so much easier. Good luck, and I think Bexter's advice above is excellent, make a cuppa and sit down for a bit.

No is as much a magic word as please. Truly capable of creating hours of extra free time over a week, month or lifetime.

Somebody wants you to bake a cake for the school fete, church fete, fete worse than death? Tell 'em no, but you can have this bottle of vino for the tombola. They'll be chuffed, cost is likely to be less than the ingredients of the cake you're not baking, plus you're ahead by several hours. I've known professional women stay up past midnight baking cakes after doing 12 hour shifts in highly-pressurised working environments. Utter madness.

Garden in a state? People have cleared primidorial forests with fire. Arson, in a carefully planned way, can save shedloads of time. It can also costs you sheds, if you set fire to yours, but that's just some funny story for your next girls' night in.;)

Jersey knit fabrics are your friends. As is seersucker. Look, ma, built-in creases! Irons are the ball and chain of modern living. Use them for no more than an hour a month, if that. Or freecycle them.

Choose smooth-coated pets if possible. The famous Bea Johnson of Zero Waste Home (a glamourous expat Frenchwoman) has a white chihuahua (sp?) to match her all-white home. Somebody remarked on it Doesn't shed was her succinct response. She spends about 2 hrs a week cleaning minimal house - whilst blasting techno music. Go, girl.

Never cook anything with more than 30 mins' prep unless you really like cooking or have a sous chef at your disposal.

Don't go on self-catering holidays. That's just doing your chores with inadequate equipment in an overpriced shack. One old woman I know told her new beau It's four star at least or I'm staying home.

If travelling with children, book first class for yourself, drug the sprogs with mogadon and send them by parcel post. You might be thought cruel, but you'll be setting them up with a fund of really great stories for the rest of their lives; there may even be a book deal in it!

Grey Queen you are my definite poster of the week :):) bless you for a great dollop of common sense .

My eldest DD found out this morning that after 16 years of stress and long hours she is being made redundant and finishes next week.
I just spoke to her and told her that having been to two funerals in the past month there is life after the stressful job, and just being alive is a bonus

She won't struggle with money as her OH earns shedloads, and her children are both grown up so relax and enjoy herself for a change and treat the break (if she decided to go back to the rat race) as a well earned holiday from all the rushing around she has done since 2002.

The spring is on its way and we live in the Garden of England. I have been retired since 1995 and find every day amazing ,having survived breast cancer and five operations and widowhood in that time

Life will never be the same, but it will be life, and feet up with a G&T now and again is brilliant .

I live a very busy life with my extended family and lots of different interests and find that just sometimes just sitting and looking out of the window (which costs nothing ) is quite invigorating.

Just 'being' and pleasing yourself for a change is terrific.

I am getting along in years and I will never dance all night as I used to (in fact I doubt I could manage a waltz sometimes ) but fresh air is free and just a smile from a friend or family member can make my day, simple things that cost nothing but mean a lot.

I am imminently about to become a Gt Grandma and I can't wait to give the new little girl a cuddle as I never thought I would survive this long :)

no one has a perfect life and think how boring it would be if life was perfect In our family we say we don't have problems ,we have solutions and although I adore baking I can't cook boiled rice, no matter how many times I have tried, so what ?
I buy boil in the bag rice, its not that important really

JackieO xx :):)

GreyQueen wrote: »

(Hun)) kettle on, feet up, and breathe.........

Modern life is making millions of us exhausted, stressed and unhappy. We're surrounded by images of perfection; perfect cakes, perfect homes, angelic children, perfect peachy a**ses, pensioner celebrities with the bodies of twenty-somethings, post-partum bodies snapping back into litheness in about 2.5 weeks......... some of these people should be hunted down and smacked across their smug faces.

In this fantasy world everything is pefectable; your home, your relationships, your baking , your gardening, your garments and grooming, everything should be a work in progress, sleep is for wimps, yadda yadda yadda until the end of time.

Be a rebel. Call time on overscheduling.

The Skiver's Charter;

1. If you can get out of something, do get out of something.

2. No is a complete sentence. It doesn't require any qualifying companions. Learn to say No, I don't want to without shame.

3. Just because some people like baking, and baking is popular, doesn't mean you have to be one of them. My involvement with cakes is that I enjoy eating them. Not enough to bake the be88ars, it must be said, but there you go, that's what shops are for.

4. If you can afford to hire out things, do so. Plenty of people need and want to make a bit of money on the side. By becoming an employer, you are aiding the redistribution of wealth and this is a Good Thing.

5. Only garden if you really like it. Otherwise, it's just outdoor housework. With slugs, in many cases, which one seldom finds indoors, IME.

6. If 16 rolls of TP is your comfort zone, that's good. Buy an 18 pack and then buy another as soon as you start it, then you know you're good.

7. Armageddon Cupboards are no bad thing.

8. Accept good enough. And spend less time watching TV or FaceAche or Instaboring or whatever, and just say to yourself My name is Angel_Jenny and I'm an ordinary person, and I'm OK with that.

:beer: If that doesn't work, there's always gin. :cool:

GreyQueen, I think I love you! Thank you for your wise words.

Angel_Jenny, I understand where you are coming from. It can be hard work keeping up with our own standards, our own expectations of how we want to live, particularly if you have a full time job and a full life outside it.

My home is far from tidy and I am aware that I have too much stuff. I love to cook, knit, read, etc. I pretend that I’m a gardener - I do grow veg - but most of the time it’s a fight to keep the garden vaguely respectable. I look back a couple of years through rose-coloured glasses and wonder how I managed to get everything done, when the reality is that I didn’t.

What I take from your post is that you are stressed out at work, to the point where you don’t have any energy left. Everything takes effort. The most important things you can do for yourself each day is a minute or two of focused deep breathing (to expel the stress), some physical exercise (to burn it off) and attempting to get enough sleep. Mindfulness training is your friend.

A couple of life hacks that I use:-

1. Don’t put it down; put it away. The wisest piece of housekeeping advice I have ever been given and I learned it from the OS board.
2. The Ten Minute Rule. It’s amazing what housework you can get done in a short focused burst. The secret is to only focus on one room/task at a time. Set a timer and start work. When the timer goes off, finish the task you are currently doing and then stop. (For instance, I wash up/clean up the kitchen every morning. When the timer goes off, if there is still washing up in the sink, I will clean those items but I won’t add any more.)
3. I use the 10 minute rule for exercise, too. There are high intensity interval workouts on YouTube, as well as apps for the phone/iPad. Again, I try to do them first thing in the morning because that way, I can cross off one impossible thing from my list. (And if I don’t do it in the morning, it probably won’t get done.)
4. Food-wise, prepare what you can in advance. When you have time, cook double/triple quantities of meal building blocks and freeze whatever doesn’t go into tonight’s meal. (Most of my meals start: fry onions with garlic, add sliced mushrooms; so I freeze tubs of this “base” to use on really busy days.)
5. Learn to switch off. Easier said than done, I know, but leaving the stress of work at work is vital for your sanity. That’s where mindfulness and deep breathing come in.

HTH.

- Pip