When / how to kick out a nightmare lodger?

I know this is an awful lodger thread and I’ve had my fair share including one that used to leave mouldy fruit and decaying meat on plates in his room until they were slop and covered in flies but I’ve also had the gold standard of lodgers, in fact if Carlsberg did lodgers…

He was a surgeon at a local hospital just relocating to the area so had a family up north and only stayed with me Monday to Friday at the most. There was a strong looks similarity to the actor who played Michael Stonebridge in the TV series Strike Back. He was smart, funny, well spoken and could hold a decent conversation. He was polite, respectful, helpful and FIT! and one day he came in from the gym and pulled his sweaty T shirt off while I was in the kitchen. I did a Monica, opened the fridge door hid behind it and silently punched the air, thanked the Gods for sending him and reopened the door to ogle 😉 (FYI I’m not a creepy landlady generally but this guy was hot!)

He used to make the most amazing steak and mushroom baguettes and always asked if I wanted something when he cooked (he was a great cook), and he cleaned up after himself too but the absolute reason he was a Carlsberg lodger was the day that my cat died. I’d left home around 10am to take her to the crematorium approx. 45 minutes drive away after I’d had to have her put to sleep due to cancer but I hadn’t looked at the weather forecast because I was a bit of a mess over it. I left in bright and sunny weather but a huge storm rolled in and about 25 minutes into my journey up the motorway my windscreen wiper failed. I was tired, upset and called the AA who eventually sent someone out to me who fixed it and sent me on my way. 2 miles up the road it failed again but this time it took hours for them to reach me due to the rain and wind and other breakdowns and I was stood on the hard shoulder in a T shirt and keeping my cat dry in her basket with my leather jacket. From then I was transferred from the motorway and dumped at a service station to await yet another recovery truck. The service station security wouldn’t let me wait inside because I had an animal with me (even though she was dead in her basket) and at that point my brain had pretty much shut down so I stayed in the car with her (my softtop was also leaking by this point). I eventually arrived home at 10pm, 12 hours after I’d left. He knew what was going on and when I arrived had run me a hot bubble bath, took my cat from me, dried her off and put her on a blanket in a dry box, he then poured a large vodka down my throat, walked up the road to buy a Chinese takeaway, bundled me in a dressing gown and blankets and sat on the sofa with me watching re-runs of Dynamo until the early hours letting me cry and waffle. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted and he was my bloody guardian angel that night. Sadly he moved out a few months later after buying a place and bringing his family down but I’ll never ever forget that night, or him as a lodger.

bobwilson wrote: »

Was he me or a copy of me by any chance?! I used to do things like that as a tenant & my landlords used to beg me not to leave :rotfl: I don't think that particular one was me though. I thought your story was going to end in you marrying him! aaahh../QUOTE]

Lol, trust me if he wasn't married I'd have been all over it! Fortunately I can add he was also a total gentleman to the list of amazing qualities. He and his wife are still happily married though and I wish them both well, she's a lucky lady.

Although, if you look like Michael Stonebridge too...:rotfl:

bobwilson wrote: »

Over the years, I'd say 30% are lovely, but the remaining 70% turn out to either not know how to live with people, or verging on mentally ill.

When/if my daughter moves out I will be looking for another lodger.
My only lodger was female, which was my preference.
How many of yours were male/female?