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  • FIRST POST
    • onasc
    • By onasc 30th Jun 19, 11:23 PM
    • 1Posts
    • 0Thanks
    onasc
    Smoking in the kitchen
    • #1
    • 30th Jun 19, 11:23 PM
    Smoking in the kitchen 30th Jun 19 at 11:23 PM
    Am I right to smoke in my kitchen, in a house where I pay all bills, buy all food and clean? The house is also in my name, as are all the bills.
    I have two family members living with me and they are both adults. They complain about my smoking in the kitchen and my answer is: my house, my rules. If you don't like it, find a better deal.
    I was told I am being unfair. Am I right?
Page 1
    • DevilsAdvocate1
    • By DevilsAdvocate1 1st Jul 19, 12:13 AM
    • 1,687 Posts
    • 3,341 Thanks
    DevilsAdvocate1
    • #2
    • 1st Jul 19, 12:13 AM
    • #2
    • 1st Jul 19, 12:13 AM
    All I know is that I wouldn't want to live with you. I hate smoke and hate it more around food.
    • splishsplash
    • By splishsplash 1st Jul 19, 12:35 AM
    • 2,914 Posts
    • 8,272 Thanks
    splishsplash
    • #3
    • 1st Jul 19, 12:35 AM
    • #3
    • 1st Jul 19, 12:35 AM
    While it's not illegal it's very antisocial. You are imposing your smoke on them and you are coating your ceiling, walls and surfaces with carcinogenic dioxins which is not healthy.
    Presumably, as they are family members, you care about them to some extent, so why not move outdoors? It's what, maybe a 2m walk; not too big an ask surely?
    I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
    • UKTigerlily
    • By UKTigerlily 1st Jul 19, 12:35 AM
    • 4,504 Posts
    • 5,672 Thanks
    UKTigerlily
    • #4
    • 1st Jul 19, 12:35 AM
    • #4
    • 1st Jul 19, 12:35 AM
    How are the smoke alarms not going off?

    Aside from that, if they live with you, then you should smoke outside, as to not do so is damaging their health in a serious way
    This affects them also, not just you.
    It may be your house, but you chose to have them living there & if workmen come, you can't smoke around them, so to me it's no different
    • robinwales
    • By robinwales 1st Jul 19, 4:03 AM
    • 82 Posts
    • 90 Thanks
    robinwales
    • #5
    • 1st Jul 19, 4:03 AM
    • #5
    • 1st Jul 19, 4:03 AM
    You can do whatever you want to. We all can. But there are consequences. With freedom comes resposibilities.
    My name is Rob
    • K80 Black
    • By K80 Black 1st Jul 19, 5:15 AM
    • 415 Posts
    • 855 Thanks
    K80 Black
    • #6
    • 1st Jul 19, 5:15 AM
    • #6
    • 1st Jul 19, 5:15 AM
    I think it's fair enough - containing it to one room that other people don't have to go in often is polite enough. It'd be different if you smoked in the main living area. If your adult family complain too much, you can always suggest they move out and make their own home smoke free.
    • bronatony
    • By bronatony 1st Jul 19, 6:47 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    bronatony
    • #7
    • 1st Jul 19, 6:47 AM
    • #7
    • 1st Jul 19, 6:47 AM
    According to me you are not doing good. Smoking is harmful to our health. So you are either harm yourself and your family too.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 1st Jul 19, 7:03 AM
    • 23,152 Posts
    • 62,554 Thanks
    Pollycat
    • #8
    • 1st Jul 19, 7:03 AM
    • #8
    • 1st Jul 19, 7:03 AM
    It doesn't matter whether random strangers on t'internet think you are right or not (coming from a never-tried-one-non-smoker who wouldn't allow smoking in my house).
    What matters is the relationship (and I don't mean Father/wife/son type of relationship, more 'how your lives are affected relationship) between you and the other 2 people who live in your house.

    Are you prepared to ask them to leave if they continue to tell you smoking in the kitchen is unfair?
    Are they prepared to leave if you give then an ultimatum of 'put up with it or get out'?

    Are they in a position to leave? Can they afford to?
    Would you want it to go that far?
    Do they want to continue to live with someone so intransigent?

    I guess that yes, you can continue to say 'My house, I pay all the bills, I'll do what I want' but you to be aware of the consequences of that.
    Maybe try to find some sort of compromise.
    I think I'd find smoking in the bathroom a more acceptable place than the kitchen.
    • HampshireH
    • By HampshireH 1st Jul 19, 7:30 AM
    • 1,740 Posts
    • 2,238 Thanks
    HampshireH
    • #9
    • 1st Jul 19, 7:30 AM
    • #9
    • 1st Jul 19, 7:30 AM
    By!K80 Black1st Jul 19, 5:15 AM

    !

    What's this?

    K80 BLACKView public profileSend private messageFind more postsView all thanked postsAdd to contacts

    I think it's fair enough - containing it to one room that other people don't have to go in often is polite enough. It'd be different if you smoked in the main living area. If your adult family complain too much, you can always suggest they move out and make their own home smoke free.
    A kitchen is usually deemed a main room for all within a household.

    A bedroom would not.

    Personally, I think its disgusting to smoke in the kitchen - the room where everyones meals are prepared . It's lazy when you can step outside.

    Also, and you won't notice as you go but it will stain the walls and ceilings which is usually only noticeable when you start moving stuff or move out. It will stain the units etc too

    It depends on how much you need/want the family sticking around
    • -taff
    • By -taff 1st Jul 19, 8:18 AM
    • 10,372 Posts
    • 14,304 Thanks
    -taff
    People die from cancer from secondary smoke. You're putting your family members at risk. Smoke outside.
    • bouicca21
    • By bouicca21 1st Jul 19, 8:41 AM
    • 4,538 Posts
    • 7,253 Thanks
    bouicca21
    Questions of health risk aside (and believe me if you had ever watched someone die of lung cancer, you’d never touch tobacco again, it’s a horrible way to go), smokers have no idea how revolting the smell is, how it lingers and taints all their clothes and soft furnishings. They have grown immune to it.

    So, yes, your house, but smoking in the kitchen is beyond disgusting. I had a neighbour who smoked, he always did so in the garden.
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 1st Jul 19, 8:56 AM
    • 12,029 Posts
    • 16,294 Thanks
    hazyjo
    Of course it's fine...


    if you don't mind people coming to the conclusion you're selfish and inconsiderate


    (Calling wind-up post anyway as these controversial first posts are rarely genuine.)
    2019 wins: Bottle of Prosecco; Popcorn Shed popcorn; Moisturising 'M&S Time Capsules'; Case of Boost Sport + 30 Just Eat voucher; Battle Proms tickets and hotel; under-eye serum...
    • LandyAndy
    • By LandyAndy 1st Jul 19, 9:06 AM
    • 24,803 Posts
    • 52,193 Thanks
    LandyAndy
    Of course it's fine...


    if you don't mind people coming to the conclusion you're selfish and inconsiderate


    (Calling wind-up post anyway as these controversial first posts are rarely genuine.)
    Originally posted by hazyjo
    Just beat me to wondering if the school holidays had started early.
    • Gavin83
    • By Gavin83 1st Jul 19, 11:39 AM
    • 6,060 Posts
    • 10,375 Thanks
    Gavin83
    I don't think it's selfish at all. I'm not a smoker but I'd imagine smoking outside at this time of year is fine, but during the winter? It must be miserable.

    I get the impression from the OPs post that if they wanted to live elsewhere they could but stay there because it's financially beneficial to them. As you say your house, your rules and if they don't like your rules they can find somewhere else to live. People have only reacted like this because it's smoking, if it was just about anything else they'd be telling your relatives to put up with it.

    Who are the relatives and why do they live with you?
    • Skiddaw1
    • By Skiddaw1 1st Jul 19, 11:50 AM
    • 80 Posts
    • 123 Thanks
    Skiddaw1
    I think post is probably a wind-up but for what it is worth....


    I smoked for many years before finally seeing sense and quitting the habit but whilst I smoked in some rooms in the house I didn't smoke in the kitchen or upstairs in/near the bedroom just because it didn't sit well with me. My husband (who quit some years before I did) had no issues about me smoking anywhere I liked (bless him) but there you go.


    In the case of the OP, if post is genuine, I suppose it really does depend on who the other adults are and what the set-up is. We have insufficient information to comment really.
    • suejb2
    • By suejb2 1st Jul 19, 2:04 PM
    • 1,565 Posts
    • 2,359 Thanks
    suejb2
    Question
    Just beat me to wondering if the school holidays had started early.
    Originally posted by LandyAndy
    Think we have moved on from school uniforms and toilet breaks?
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
    • Marvel1
    • By Marvel1 1st Jul 19, 5:19 PM
    • 4,298 Posts
    • 4,834 Thanks
    Marvel1
    Yes you are right, your house your rules, they don't like it, they can move out.
    • deannatrois
    • By deannatrois 1st Jul 19, 5:41 PM
    • 6,174 Posts
    • 8,673 Thanks
    deannatrois
    I tend to smoke outside except when its really really cold and then I smoke near an open window. Not ideal for them or me, but a compromise. I must admit I keep the lounge windows open unless there's icicles on the window frame because I want to keep the ill effects of my habit off others as much as I can. But yes, it is my house etc etc.

    Not perfect but the best compromise I can do.
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 1st Jul 19, 6:34 PM
    • 3,274 Posts
    • 8,087 Thanks
    ska lover
    Why do you have two adults living with you - yet you pay for everything? Relatives or not, why the heck are they not contributing, are they ill??

    I am not sure this is a wind up, I think it is a regular poster with new identity
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • DUTR
    • By DUTR 1st Jul 19, 7:08 PM
    • 12,067 Posts
    • 6,820 Thanks
    DUTR
    People die from cancer from secondary smoke. You're putting your family members at risk. Smoke outside.
    Originally posted by -taff
    Whilst there is no doubt of the health risks of smoking amongst other things like drinking etc.
    Of all but two the people I know who have died from a cancer illness never smoked in their lives that I know of.
    I agree with not smoking in the kitchen, but I also agree with the anti preach move of the householder.
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