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  • FIRST POST
    • Eagles1905
    • By Eagles1905 11th Jul 19, 10:23 AM
    • 81Posts
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    Eagles1905
    Thoughts on...
    • #1
    • 11th Jul 19, 10:23 AM
    Thoughts on... 11th Jul 19 at 10:23 AM
    Fellow Dad's, been divorced 2.5 years and ex-wife has confirmed she is now in a new relationship that has become serious, she has already mentioned introducing our young son to the new partner. What are your thoughts on me meeting this person too? Personally, I have very little interest in meeting this other chap unless a situation developed in which they ended up living together etc. Interested to see what the views are.



    Cheers.
    “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
Page 1
    • geminilady
    • By geminilady 12th Jul 19, 9:24 PM
    • 1,788 Posts
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    geminilady
    • #2
    • 12th Jul 19, 9:24 PM
    • #2
    • 12th Jul 19, 9:24 PM
    I agree with you would meet him if they decide to live together. I would hope she has been in the relationship at least six months before she has him meet your son.
    • seashore22
    • By seashore22 13th Jul 19, 2:50 PM
    • 1,308 Posts
    • 3,063 Thanks
    seashore22
    • #3
    • 13th Jul 19, 2:50 PM
    • #3
    • 13th Jul 19, 2:50 PM
    So what are you going to do if:

    Your ex says no to you meeting the new partner?

    You take an instant dislike to him?

    Not much you can do, is there?

    I'm not a dad, so hope that doesn't disqualify me from having an opinion.
    Last edited by seashore22; 13-07-2019 at 2:52 PM.
    • Eagles1905
    • By Eagles1905 15th Jul 19, 8:32 AM
    • 81 Posts
    • 30 Thanks
    Eagles1905
    • #4
    • 15th Jul 19, 8:32 AM
    • #4
    • 15th Jul 19, 8:32 AM
    All opinions welcome!



    It's a tricky one, but guess I would have to trust my ex wife's judgment of character and go from there. There are no plans to introduce our son just yet and we have agreed to be open and honest. It's a tough one for me, but I want to handle it maturely for the benefit of our boy. This works both ways too of course, I am not being one sided of naive.
    “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
    • Davon
    • By Davon 15th Jul 19, 9:16 AM
    • 3 Posts
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    Davon
    • #5
    • 15th Jul 19, 9:16 AM
    • #5
    • 15th Jul 19, 9:16 AM
    This is why I don't like dealing with ex wife. They leave and they easily get a new guy to start their life again. Well, for me i'd better enjoy my life and pick up girls with no strings attached than dealing with emotional issues.
    • Eagles1905
    • By Eagles1905 15th Jul 19, 9:47 AM
    • 81 Posts
    • 30 Thanks
    Eagles1905
    • #6
    • 15th Jul 19, 9:47 AM
    • #6
    • 15th Jul 19, 9:47 AM
    That's why I want to be the bigger man and handle this when the time is right to do so, never thought is was going to be easy but was very interested to see what the general opinion was, I know I am not in a unique situation, sadly this kind of thing happens all the time.
    “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 15th Jul 19, 6:43 PM
    • 8,813 Posts
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    Primrose
    • #7
    • 15th Jul 19, 6:43 PM
    • #7
    • 15th Jul 19, 6:43 PM
    I'd have a serious conversation with your ex if relationships are still amicable enough and tell her of your concerns because sooner or later your vibes, whether they are positive or negative about any new man in her life will be picked up by your child and that is not a good emotional position for him to be placed in.

    There may be family occasions in the more distant future where you will find yourselves in the same room or the same family function and they will be a lot more easily negotiated if you're able to do this from a civilised base. I agree its a difficult situation to navigate but you all have to be honest and grown up about this and your child will be less emotionally stressed if he,s not the object of a tug of war between two (or three) warring adults, all of whom will be playing a key part in his life.
    • Carl31
    • By Carl31 6th Aug 19, 11:07 AM
    • 2,436 Posts
    • 5,951 Thanks
    Carl31
    • #8
    • 6th Aug 19, 11:07 AM
    • #8
    • 6th Aug 19, 11:07 AM
    From experience, both my own and in my wifes case, I would say its very beneficial to have at least an amicable relationship with your ex's partner. You dont have to be best mates, but a simple "hi, how are you" from time to time is better for everyone than any hostility

    Dont forget, your son will be seeing this person often, and may not share the same views you do on them, which might not make you look good
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