Would you say something?

Pollycat wrote: »

How awful for you.
And the chap.
I really can't imagine treating a friend like that - some people really ought to go off and get a role in EastEnders.
I can never understand how some people can take sides in domestic matters.
I always say 'unless you've been a fly on the wall 24/7 throughout the whole relationship, you don't know what has happened'.

Blush_Birdie wrote: »

I feel like I'm being personally attacked on this forum and it's very uncalled for. If you want more information to form a non-judgemental reply, let me know please

In response to the 10 year old who wrote those lyrics above... cool song, do you jam to it on your iPod? Nice!

There is seriously no need to be so judgemental.

It's funny those who wrote I should not assume he was cheating based on what I saw, think that being in close proximity to another woman does not mean you are not cheating. I should add here that in our culture (mine, the friend's, the cheating party's - man and woman) is such that we don't stand within 0.5cm of each other. And you don't think running away from the scene is weird and unusual at all? If I had nothing to hide, I would stand there and carry right on, doing what I was doing.

UPDATE
Apparently, what I saw happened 2 minutes after I arrived. Another woman in the building has told my friend she witnessed the man and woman KISSING (on the lips - if specifications are important to you) at the same time and place I did! My friend texted me today to say she had to talk to me (other witness told her I was there - suprised me to know 5 other people saw what happened + more!) and she was upset I had not said anything. I explained the reason why I did not say anything was because I was scared to, but that I know I should have. She's already left the apartment they share and told me she's on her way to her Mum's I do feel like I should have said something sooner.

In regard to me telling a work mate and not her first, there's a bit of a back story here: last year she found out her boyfriend was telling people (incl. myself) that he did not see a future with her, is looking to dump her soon and wants to start afresh. When she found out I knew, she told everyone at work about personal things I had shared with her, these were extremely personal details of my life... she went and told about 10 people at our workplace.

She then told these people if I ever said anything about her boyfriend not wanting to be with her, I was just 'jealous' and not to listen to me. Several people who she told shunned me, assuming I was out to get her. I never told anyone anything about what her boyfriend had told me (I was going to tell her only that he was saying such things, but someone beat me to it). She is vindictive and just cruel. She did later apologise for this behaviour and I let it all go, though this is the reason I do not wish to be close with her again. She has physically hit me in the past too (in anger, though I will say no serious harm was done - just a bruise). This did scare me a bit and I was taken aback. The only reason I told my work colleague is because I'm honestly still a bit frightened of her, but despite what she's done to me in the past, I felt I should stil tell her. I think she has serious anger (and possibly mental health) issues.

Can I just say, I joined this forum because it's one of the only websites I can check at work (most of my job is to do with computers). I've been reading posts on here for a while now and thought joining would be nice. On an old post, an 'oldie' commented that newbies don't join this forum because the 'oldies' just seem to attack them. That very much seems to be the case here.

I have been torn about what to do, clearly. I know I asked for opinions, but I did not state I would follow others' opinions/advice. I simply wanted a little bit of insight into what others thought. Should I have to follow your advice? I didn't know that is how forums work. I am not saying I do not appreciate your thoughts/advice and input, but surely after taken all these into consideration, I should do what I feel is right? Sometimes knowing what other people think can clear your own mind.

To call me a gossip, to form opinions based on what little info. I gave, it just hurts a bit if I'm honest. I'm sensitive and do suffer with mental health myself - I do not want sympathy (I have, unfortunately, decided not to stick around on here due to harsh/uncalled for comments), but to just ask you be kinder in your responses in the future.

I guess, in the end, what I saw was what I thought it was. I know my culture, my religion and know that things can be different for us than they are for other people. I admit you guys didn't have this info., but you jumped on the bashing bandwagon straight away. Says a lot about the kind of people on here. I understand things are not always what they seem, but this was what I, in my heart, knew it to be. I didn't have to be right, I badly wished I was wrong.

Anyhow, I'm done justifying to strangers who pretend to be helpful and are, in reality, just mean.

Blush_Birdie wrote: »

More than one user mentioned/implied I am a gossip and I’m not. If my reasons for telling one work colleague were wrong, I understand the need to say I am one, but they weren’t. I also didn’t go running to tell her, I thought long and hard about it. This work colleague also knows what kind of person our friend can be and what she has done to me in the past.

I guess I was just feeling hurt at the accusations when all I wanted was to get a glimpse into others’ thoughts on the matter.

I understand it makes sense to back off and let things just run their natural course, I just think my history with my friend is complicated and it made backing off difficult.

I am very glad that in the end I did not have to get involved. She may know that I saw what I saw, but she also knows many other people saw it and I am (sigh of relief) very happy it did not come from me! I would not like to have been the messenger she shot (or slapped, or bruised!).

To be completely honest, she hit me outside of work, but the girl her boyfriend had an affair with - she slapped her right in middle of our workplace! She was suspended and then allowed to come back on a last warning! It is shocking!

I’m sorry, I did not in any way mean to imply all users on this forum are mean. Your message was very thoughtful and kind and I truly appreciate it ☺️ It was nice to read and made my night - thank you very much. Your words are very pleasant and the kind I needed to lift me up a little. You have yourself a lovely weekend too.

☺️