FIRE friends & family

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  • Audaxer
    Audaxer Posts: 3,506 Forumite
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    Sea_Shell wrote: »
    Mine are definitely "expectors" !!! They've got form!
    Fair enough. It just seems a shame that you can't tell them you're retired, as you have worked and saved hard to be able to be in that position.
  • Anonymous101
    Anonymous101 Posts: 1,869 Forumite
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    Pollycat wrote: »
    I found the OP's comments about his colleagues 'odd' because in the same circumstances, I wouldn't give a moment's thought about anyone else's financial affairs.
    It's none of my business.
    I've got more important things to think about and I'd be surprised if the OP's colleagues are that bothered about whether he has enough money to buy next week's groceries.

    I told friends that I was taking early retirement.
    I wasn't ashamed of that.
    I wasn't proud of that.
    It was simply a fact.

    You are aware I'm speaking from my own personal perspective...?
    My family are not 'expecters'.
    They know me, they know my husband and trust any financial decision we make to be a sound one.
    And if it's not, it's down to us.



    I was adding to your comments for the good of general discussion not making some sort of personal attack.


    I happen to agree that the OP was overly concerned at what others thought about his life choices.
    My opinion is simply that its normal to be open to a certain degree with family but not so much with friends and certainly not with colleagues.
  • jimi_man
    jimi_man Posts: 1,099 Forumite
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    Sea_Shell wrote: »
    Why should they be annoyed or upset? What difference should it make to them whether I'm at work or not? UNLESS, they realise that I could have been available for THEM, during this time...which proves my point!!!
    As someone else has pointed out, it depends on the relationship that you have with your family. Retirement is a fairly major life changing event, and both my and my wife's family, would think it's odd that I/we hadn't mentioned it to them, in the same way as if we had moved house without telling them - another life changing event.

    There would be no expectation from them. Having said that, they are getting on a bit and so there is an expectation from me that I would be able to assist a bit more in things that they can't do, which I consider is only right and proper.

    You obviously have a different relationship with your family, which whilst rather sad, is all too common.
  • barnstar2077
    barnstar2077 Posts: 1,355 Forumite
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    edited 15 October 2019 at 12:22PM
    Realising how fragile life is, and with my work environment not being the best at the moment, I have been investing over half my salary since the beginning of the year. I have told the colleagues that I get on with the most about my plans to retire early, and as they have been complaining about the company as much I have I have suggested that they up their savings too. They all look at me as if what I am doing is impossible. Even the ones that are married with both partners working and who have no kids seem to think it is beyond them. When In truth they could probably save more than I do because they have two incomes.

    There is one family member that has started making plans to retire earlier as well though. He normally loves spending money, has to have the latest gadget etc (He bought an expensive drone but has no use for it for instance.) I think he may just hate the idea of me retiring before him as I am younger. It will be interesting to see if he can do it. I hope he can.

    It should come as no surprise to my friends or family that I have been able to retire early, and they have the same opportunity to do something about it today that I have.
    Think first of your goal, then make it happen!
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 9,344 Forumite
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    As with all things "family" it's complicated, multi faceted and unique.

    We will tell them one day, we're just enjoying our "anonymity" at the moment.

    I haven't actually told a lie yet, as they've not asked about work! But then it has only been 3 months!
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.31% of current retirement "pot" (as at end March 2024)
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,661 Forumite
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    Anonymous101 wrote: »
    I was adding to your comments for the good of general discussion not making some sort of personal attack.


    I happen to agree that the OP was overly concerned at what others thought about his life choices.
    My opinion is simply that its normal to be open to a certain degree with family but not so much with friends and certainly not with colleagues.

    No personal attack perceived.
    Re the OP and his colleagues, I have a friend who won't wear the same outfit on a regular basis as she thinks people (in the pub) will notice.
    I've told that I can't remember what she wore the last time I saw her and I'm pretty damn sure nobody else will notice either.
    People are too busy getting on with their own lives and their own worries.

    I may be wrong but I'd guess the OP's colleagues will be the same.

    If a friend told me they were retiring and I knew they were under pension age, I'd say 'How lovely! Do you have any exciting plans for the future?'
    I wouldn't worry about whether they could afford it or not and I wouldn't expect them to buy me a drink or lend me money.
  • Anonymous101
    Anonymous101 Posts: 1,869 Forumite
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    Pollycat wrote: »
    No personal attack perceived.


    Good :-)
    Pollycat wrote: »
    If a friend told me they were retiring and I knew they were under pension age, I'd say 'How lovely! Do you have any exciting plans for the future?'
    I wouldn't worry about whether they could afford it or not and I wouldn't expect them to buy me a drink or lend me money.



    Likewise, as I'd expect most regular people would.
    I think I'd be offering to buy them a drink and let them explain their plans and how they achieved the early retirement!
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,661 Forumite
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    Sea_Shell wrote: »
    Mine are definitely "expectors" !!! They've got form!

    In that case, I can understand why you're not told them. ;)
    But my family's expectations about my time were well and truly set way before I even thought about early retirement. :D
  • fred246
    fred246 Posts: 3,620 Forumite
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    I think it is basically the same as the pensions freedom which started in 2014 with the Lamborghini question. How many pensioners were going to blow all the pension at once? A few have but I don't think it's common. If you've been careful enough to save the money you aren't going to give it away easily.
  • fred246
    fred246 Posts: 3,620 Forumite
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    I worked with the same colleagues for years. We only talked about pensions when the local IFA came touting for business. My pot was only secret in that I am not going to walk round saying "Do you know how much money I have?". When I retired nobody asked. My trashed final salary pension is over £20K but we were earning about £100K. I was seen as the money saving expert so they PROBABLY thought Fred is happy with that but I couldn't cope.
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