Money Moral Dilemma: Should we stop splitting the bill?

Beate · 16 June 2010 at 9:51AM

I am a generous person and have more than once invited friends to a meal out and paid for everything but if I felt I was being taken advantage of, this would stop instantly. Splitting the bill to me does not mean 50/50, it means each pays for what they have ordered and a share of the tip. It does not have to be exactly to the penny but I would never subsidise someone else's extravagance, especially drinks wise.

meher · 16 June 2010 at 9:55AM

Yet they never eat it all and always ask for a doggy bag for leftovers.

o dear, in a friendship and going out, you don't go into such details analysing and when you don't do so much accounting, you'd find no fault

Greigyyy · 16 June 2010 at 9:56AM

:mad:
Furious does not cover how mad this would make me. Very politely say you no longer wish to subsidise their over eating and will be paying only your share. If they take umbridge, slap a print out of all these replies on the table and say, "well, I was trying to be nice about it but look what all these people thought about your gluttonous, money-grubbing, vulgar and quite frankly loathesome behaviour." Whilst they read all the pages go up and pay your part of the bill at the till and then explain that your curly tailed friends will pay the rest and then happily stroll out at a job well done.

harttss3 · 16 June 2010 at 9:58AM

Either find less greedy friends or suggest that you take it in turns to pay the whole bill when you go out. Make sure you get your money's worth when it is their turn to pay:beer::p

hamzramz · 16 June 2010 at 9:58AM

These people have the cheek to say that they are friends of the OP and their wife despite spending so much money and having the OP contribute towards their expensive taste, and not even having the decency to finish it all. I wouldn't pay so much money, if I spent like £20 while my friends spent £40 so I end up paying a tenner more despite my meal only being £20. It wouldn't be a big deal except this isn't a one off and seems to happen all the time.

Of course if they are friends then they wouldn't mind doing a bit of adding and subtracting when it comes to dining out, set a limit on how much each couple pays like £20 each, and ensure that's how much they spend, any extra mains or drinks to be added on. Or take turns to pay the bill, if they're good friends who enjoy your company as well as cheap lunching, they won't have a problem with it.

seelyb · 16 June 2010 at 10:19AM

One time doing this might be an oversight. Twice is plain rude, and beyond that they are taking blatant advantage. Are they really friends? Is their company worth the freeloading? If not, either stop going out altogether or next time bite the bullet and pay your share, not 50%. Put the marker down and you might find that they don't want all that extra food after all!!

fockers · 16 June 2010 at 10:22AM

no you shouldnt split the cost if this is happening all the time pull the guy to one side and have a word with him or order more drinks ect for yourself and partner and see how they like to pay for the extra

bzd · 16 June 2010 at 10:25AM

One of my pet dislikes (not really strong enough to be a "hate"!) too. I especially feel annoyed when I've been moderate with one bottle of beer and everyone else seems to have consumed an (at least) £15 bottle of wine each!

Anyway, enough of my griping -- if you want to have a tactful way of paying separately you could turn up next time without your wallet and partner only have enough cash to cover your part of the bill. Say at the beginning you've discovered you've forgotten your wallet so you'll make sure you only order what you can pay separately with the cash you've got between you. That might give you a way to start paying separately. Also look and see if it affects what your friends order!

Actually, I'd be tempted to just turn up without any means of payment and see what they do!!

Good luck,

Bzd

timby · 16 June 2010 at 10:26AM

perhaps best to start ordering two mains and loads of sides yourselves, asking for doggie bags - perhaps you will end up taking home even more than they do, then the point might begin to sink in ...

auntyclarry · 16 June 2010 at 10:30AM

It just depends how much you want the 'pac man' couple as friends and to share an evening out.
If you start complaining about what they order (regardless of whether they clear it up or not) you might lose them as friends and then the relationship between you will never be the same again.
It's the 0ld saying that MONEY SPOILS EVERYTHING to be taken into account here.
I suppose you could tell them you are a bit short of cash, but do not wish to forego your great night out. Hand over to them, roughly what yours comes to - say £20 if it's a tenner each, and ask them to pay the bill. Cite the forthcoming budget for the cutback and tell them you are having a spending review, - you never know they might do the same!
This should not offend them and will leave you having a good night out with friends whilst paying only for what you had.

Money Moral Dilemma: Should we stop splitting the bill?

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