Money Moral Dilemma: Should I agree to pay my mum more rent?

donny_jim · 14 July 2017 at 12:57PM

Well I assume she pays all gas electric and food you eat plus council tax, ( if she lived alone would get 25% discount ). Cooks your meals, washes your clothes, and probably makes your bed for you. If you moved out the rent alone would be at least 400p.m. Then you would have everything else to pay on top, plus you would be shopping,(food)cooking, washing, ironing etc. You would be independent, but is it worth it ?. You decide.

Pollycat · 14 July 2017 at 1:21PM

donny_jim wrote: »

Well I assume she pays all gas electric and food you eat plus council tax, ( if she lived alone would get 25% discount ). Cooks your meals, washes your clothes, and probably makes your bed for you. If you moved out the rent alone would be at least 400p.m. Then you would have everything else to pay on top, plus you would be shopping,(food)cooking, washing, ironing etc. You would be independent, but is it worth it ?. You decide.

How can you assume all the above in bold from this?

MSE_Sarah wrote: »

Since I started working, my mum has charged me £100/month in rent to keep living at her house, to help out with bills. Now after around a year she suddenly wants to increase it to £200/month, but I’ve stayed on the same salary. Is she being unreasonable for bumping up the rent money or am I being tight?

Not everybody who lives with their parents don't lift a finger to help in the house.
Maybe the OP buys all his/her own food.
Maybe he/she is the one who does all the washing and ironing.

We simply don't know.

Jules121121 · 14 July 2017 at 4:57PM

silvercar wrote: »

That is the first difference in view points. I don't think it a luxury to be able to provide a home for my children.

Making sure we can cover our own costs without relying on others. We made the choices on where we live and I wouldn't consider passing on any of the costs of that to my children.

Please do take into account that some folks genuinely do have more of a struggle to make ends meet due to various circumstances and having to still provide a home for the adult children will make it a luxury they genuinely can't afford to keep doing without 'charging' board. I suspect the majority of people may be able to cover their own costs in a smaller residence however moving would probably mean the adult child moving into a different place and paying more.
Like me You are one of the fortunate ones and can/could afford to run the family home without any contributution however I know not everyone is in as a good financial situation as we are. If it was a case of losing the home or "charging" the adult children honestly what would you do?

I did expect my finished education and working adult children to contribute for their own good also my situation could have changed as no one knows what life will throw at us!. I was able to keep the money aside to surprise them a few years later to help them set up their own home. However had I needed that money for running the family home I would have had no qualms in using it to keep a roof over all of our heads.
( By the way they both can save and budget their money very well in debt to no one but the mortgage company)

silvercar · 14 July 2017 at 5:35PM

Jules121121 wrote: »

Please do take into account that some folks genuinely do have more of a struggle to make ends meet due to various circumstances and having to still provide a home for the adult children will make it a luxury they genuinely can't afford to keep doing without 'charging' board. I suspect the majority of people may be able to cover their own costs in a smaller residence however moving would probably mean the adult child moving into a different place and paying more.
Like me You are one of the fortunate ones and can/could afford to run the family home without any contributution however I know not everyone is in as a good financial situation as we are. If it was a case of losing the home or "charging" the adult children honestly what would you do?

Totally agree with you. If you need to take a contribution from your children then there is nothing wrong with doing so. But then it would be an open discussion with your child, explaining that you are not self reliant and need their contribution in order to avoid moving. This does beg the question as to what you would do when your offspring want to move out, if you are totally reliant on their contribution to balance the books. It also squashes the argument that some are making about teaching your offspring to budget carefully if you yourself need their contribution to balance your own books.

pollypenny · 14 July 2017 at 6:13PM

Aced2016 wrote: »

But what will the cost be? They'll have their room which is just sitting there. They will use a few plug sockets and a light when home from work a few hours. And a shower in the morning ! That's buttons in what it would cost me a shower and some plug sockets.

Myself and husband wear different clothes everyday, so I would be do washing every single day as we also use clean towels every day. So sticking their clothes amongst it again isn't costing me anything. If I'm cooking a meal for example chicken, baby potatoes and broccoli, then again I'm cooking and would be using this food so makes no odds to put them out a plate.

So the way I see it is the cost to me is very little, so therefore I cannot justify charging them rent. Like I said in previous post, if working full time they're responsible for toiletries, clothes, specific food and material goods. I don't need to take their money to save for them as that's treating them as a child. I'll be encouraging them to all save for a deposit for their own houses and to start themselves up on life with best interest savings account etc. And they'll be responsible for keeping their own room tidy. So I cannot justify charging for any of our children to pay me to stay in their room while using a few plug sockets!

And when you said not everyone has the luxury to do that, myself and husband aren't rich. We've just never had tax credits etc we've relied on our wages, so we've looked after ourselves so our budget will not change when the kids suddenly leave education and get a job.

You clearly don't have teenage boys or young men, playing rugby and eating you out of house and home.

Our DS ate more than OH and I put together.

Aced2016 · 14 July 2017 at 8:28PM

pollypenny wrote: »

You clearly don't have teenage boys or young men, playing rugby and eating you out of house and home.

Our DS ate more than OH and I put together.

I do I have two boys and two girls ! Oldest is just turning 13, he plays football as does my other son. They also do swimming and the girls as well as gymnastics. So with 4 of them I am fully aware of food and washings.

silvercar · 14 July 2017 at 8:56PM

pollypenny wrote: »

You clearly don't have teenage boys or young men, playing rugby and eating you out of house and home.

Our DS ate more than OH and I put together.

My boys seem to have a need for another meal about 11pm at night. this generally involves vast amounts of carbs, a lot of clattering around and a messy kitchen!

sunnyflower · 14 July 2017 at 10:42PM

We didn't charge our children "rent", however we did expect them to take the opportunity to save and to pay for their own clothes / car expenses etc. This enabled them to have some money behind them when they moved on.

Sambella · 15 July 2017 at 1:08AM

My son has just returned from 2 weeks visiting his Dad combined with a fishing trip.

It’s rare I’m home alone so it was a pleasant surprise to note that my grocery bill almost halved. The Tv was rarely on whilst he was gone and his PC which is on constantly was off. The washing machine was used less as was the dishwasher as I washed my few dishes in the sink. I am expecting this months electric bill to be around £10 less than usual perhaps even a little more.

Even though he pays me £160 a month I reckon I will save more than that when he moves out. Saving from Virgin tv/broadband alone will be £54.

My heating bill, rates bill and insurance will not change.

It’s better to have a gain when they move out rather than struggle to make up for a loss especially if they are overcharged.

He buys his own clothes/petrol/fishing gear etc.

He is also taking his dog with him when he leaves so that’s another saving! I will miss her though.

The sky tv/broadband will also go. I’ll be ok with freeview or the free sky go.

What I really enjoyed was how tidy the house was when he was gone

I cleaned the house from top to bottom the day after he went and for next fortnight all I really had to do was a few dishes. Amazing!!!!

march3 · 15 July 2017 at 11:21AM

My son pays the 60 extra I pay now he's an adult for my council tax. I had the 25 per cent rebate as a single person. I mentioned the cost of my gas/electric bill the other day wondering if I could get it cheaper. He asked how how much it is and I replied 82 a month. He was horrified. After reading these mails, I think it might be wise for me to sit down with him and discuss the bills. To the son who can pay 200. Help your mum out. I bet she gets you treats too. &#55357;&#56832;

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I agree to pay my mum more rent?

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