Life begins again at 45

Simply church all morning

Dad's in the afternoon, for lunch - a ready meal which he paid for

Collapsed in front of TV when I got home

It was with some relief that Mr Borrow My Doggy had another date today., it meant I could continue sorting my life out!

This included, going round to see my friend who had the last Christian Aid bucket, was asked in for coffee and stayed a couple of hours

Popped into my GP's on the way home - was :mad:with them, they had made a mistake with my referral to the chronic fatigue clinic and although have rectified it, have not bothered to contact me to tell me. Even though I had asked them to.

It was another slow day other than that which we need.

Wednesday 24th May

Another slow start to the day, then my weekly sports massage, which I have to say was painful, but was a good therapeutic session verbally has I talked through the issues with my Dad, my therapist has an equally stubborn Mother who I have listened too, so he was returning the favour.

Then in the afternoon, I had another coaching session, which gave so much food for thought and was very challenging.

I will keep it for a different post.

We were suppose to be having a date night cinema but OH was late home so we ended up going to the supermarket to get some frozen meals for Dad and then to N@ndo's as we had some vouchers so completely :money:

Busy Day

Firstly mulling over what the wellbeing coach and I discussed about the relationship with my Father I had been set a challenge/goal.

I was due to see him before my first meeting with the health trust as his home and venue were 5 minutes apart.

So I went in with food, and there he was sat in his chair with a rug on his knee. Looking not like my active Father but my Grandfather.

I am getting more and more concerned that he is not on the recovery journey fro his fall as he should be. Despite all the medical advice telling him that he has to move and resume normal activities as soon as he can, 9 sorry if I am repeating myself) I am vocalising my :mad::mad:. He is still sitting there.

So I decided to talk to him, again about, putting in some solutions to aid his recovery, a live in carer/companion, drive physio, he has the money to do this. Explaining to him, why the pain is getting worse not better, as he is not moving.

When he listened but then dismissed what I said, I assertively told him, how that makes me fee. I told him how, that when he says to me "I understand_ he frankly doesn't. I gave the example of often I need my OH to help me put my knickers on, he made this joke about them looking better on my OH. I said that may be funny to him, but was distressing to me as 47. Never really wishing to put himself in my shoes, he then went into his little boy, "I am the worst Father in the world" small voice, distressed voice etc. I am so proud of myself as I stood up, and told him enough, he was being ridiculous, he wasn't going to intimidate me. When I stood up to his ridicule of my situation. As the coach gently talked through with me I had to set boundaries. I did. I actually told him I didn't want to come over to see him, because of the way he treated me. Last week he said to OH " I know I am short with her, thats me, and I am not going to change" so "tough" but as I pointed out to him, last week when I was helping he was as nice as pie to my cousin, her OH, my OH but not to me.

I do love him, but I have to change this cycle of being bullied.

There was so interesting moments, at this point, he decided to escape, as his laxative was working. A few minutes later I found myself on my hands and knees helping him on with clean underpants! I made the quip about them looking better on me. He was embarressed, but did he really get the point I'm not sure.

I left hoping that he might head what I said and do something proactive.

I wasn't intending to go back, but left keys behind. So popped back in, he was cheerful his long suffering friend was there doing chores for him. The community matron had been in, apparently he is in good health.. but nothing really was said about his pain and inactivity, only her saying he can increase his ibupren dosage :eek:

I escaped and went to the pub for a couple of hours for an orange juice and a chinwag with my BM

Another day without Mr Borrow My Doggy which I had with mixed feelings, as I was tired and but equally I could have done with a blow alone the Thamespath, and that unconditional love of my four legged friend.

I am very tired, I know really I am heading for a fatigue relapse.....

i kept going on a long list of chores sitting at the computer. One major thing was that I started to look at the finances which definitely was more than

Slight disastor re supper, we had sausages from the freezer, and I had suggested an aubergine tagging, to use up, but we did it too late, so the sausages were cooked but the aubergine was raw