OS ways and Poor Health

Wednesday2000 · 5 September 2017 at 2:11PM

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

My daughter had a big meltdown on Friday and Saturday was spent discussing the tools to use to try to turn those thoughts around . She has Borderline PD so that voice is in her head all the time . Counselling and really researching the condition means her life is much improved . It will never go away but if she can turn those thoughts around in time she is not in a spiral .

Sorry to read about that. I hope she is feeling a bit better today. That is one of the MH conditions I was diagnosed with too, BPD. It was quite a few years ago now, 2009. Did your daughter ever receive Dialectical behaviour therapy? That really helped me. I actually just called up the MH service to talk while I was out just now. The psychologist I spoke to said they could offer me top up sessions of therapy and they are calling me back about it later today.

I just tried to book the new dentist too but the office was closed for lunch. I will have to try another day as I'm not going back out again.

I feel like that was enough for one day!:)

pollyanna_26 · 5 September 2017 at 4:17PM

Thank you for your post Wednesday. My daughter was referred to adolescent mh services after many years of a struggle our previous doctor could not sort apart from medication for anxiety, Panic attacks and depression . School wouldn't support her and in her early teens I had a call from school to tell me she had been taken to A&E .
Crisis team were called by the hospital and referred her for assessment.After a lot of face to face and case conferences the very inept Child Psychiatrist decided she had asperger's as she was highly intelligent etc .
I'd never heard of it so started via lot of books researching . Some things fitted but there were glaring differences . She spent a year in daily education aimed at autistic disorders and I should have removed her early on . She had agreed with all concerned to give it a year and I will never forgive myself for allowing that to happen .
Members of staff were saying she didn't have it and none of her needs were being met .
She was already removed from formal ed by me for home schooling after the A&e incident . She went to college after the year to train for her hairdressing qualifications and with support things weren't to hard . We also had a home tutor to supplement my home teaching and I bless the eu for that as their funding allowed that to happen via home ed when our education dept needed to provide an alternative to their usual tutors .
Life was going wrong and those she participated and enjoyed many things she was trying to find somewhere she belonged and friends .
Along came those who target the isolated and vulnerable and the damage of those years has further damaged her and neither of us will truly forget them . I can't watch the police helicopter without recalling when I watched it and knew exactly who it was searching for in the middle of the night .
So medical health began to join the MH . She couldn't physically work as stylist let alone a colourist . In a few years she couldn't walk or run from her demons .
Some crisis mental health admissions later Dr ,DD and I were putting pressure on the adult mh team . We heard attention seeking ' needs to make an effort etc .
One day the leading Psych uttered BPD . DD had already come to that conclusion by online research but had only just handed me a printout about it . We'd never discussed it with any one as we were still trying to determine if it could be an answer .
He wouldn't give a written diagnosis and neither did two more members of the team in the following years who verbally diagnosed it again . The third younger than the others told us why . No support available in the trust and he was leaving because the system had broken .
Our doctor stepped in and arranged counselling and she had three periods of that over time . It was cbt - only thing available . One Counsellor who did two batches put useful tools in the toolbox and near the end threw in some DBT which made a difference . She had suffered herself and is someone else we remember with gratitude .
I would love to find the funds for full DBT and maybe when so much travel expense and other costs reach a lower level will do so .
She doesn't want extreme go back through the past stuff . She has locked boxes and so many we know have lost support after starting to go back .
It's just a good tool kit .
Take care and apologies for a small book . Speaking of which after reading a lot of unhelpful books we both found Borderline Personality Disorder The Facts the most informative and helpful .
polly x

CRANKY40 · 5 September 2017 at 5:10PM

Hi all, I've had a bit of a ropey week - the short story is we had a visitor, the visitor's sister threw a strop because the visitor wanted to spend time with me and the house troll, the visitor has a row with the sister and went home, we were caught in the crossfire and neither visitor or the rest of the family is currently speaking to me. Visitor will talk to me eventually but prefers to go into hiding when there's any kind of confrontation but is one of my closest friends so I miss him and keep crying, sigh.

Given the above, I'm coping OK. I'm not working at the moment, but am thinking about looking for another job (one where it isn't called by one name then turns out to be something completely different). I'm thinking though that I could probably do with a couple of weeks to myself, especially as I've damaged my Achilles tendon (out walking with house troll - overweight, walking fast and uphill is a bad combination apparently) and I'm waiting for the results of a 7 day ECG capture. The first three days are a mystery as I had one fixed on with those gel patches, but after a severe allergic reaction to the patches (I look like I have a bullseye on my front) I was given a handheld monitor which meant I could see what was being recorded. Upon reflection I'd rather it had stayed a mystery.

I'm liking the idea of a lightweight multi cooker. I have been contemplating buying new pans but a multi cooker sounds so much more useful if it's light enough for me to pick up. My sore hands and the amount of things that I drop are frustrating, so my slow cooker doesn't come out much. My hands aren't as bad since the doctor prescribed arthritis medication as opposed to just painkillers but lightweight is still the preferred way to go. (Is anyone else just a little bit sad that even if we won the lottery Le Creuset will never happen)

Blimey Polly, you've been through it....I have a tendency to believe people aren't really wanting to be my friends etc which is why I'm so sad about one person in particular that I know genuinely does, but you and your daughter have had a proper bad time.

Hugs all

pollyanna_26 · 5 September 2017 at 5:38PM

Hi Cranky . Did back to school go ok? I'm sorry the visiter situation is still not sorted .
Unless you need to go back to work for financial reasons I'd advise taking a break . You have a lot going on and I would say the Achilles tendon need time to fully heal . DDs was damaged by a wrongly placed steroid injection some years ago and hasn't healed well and worsens when she flares .
As for Le Crueset eldest daughter bought me the Coastal Blue whistling kettle as a surprise mothers day gift a few years ago . Back then I could still face the journey to LPool One . She must have tired of telling me to stop stroking the kettle each time we were in JL

Anyway it turned up unannounced . I even rang cs to say I had a parcel I hadn't ordered after they asked a few to me strange questions they told me to open it . A thing of beauty and the tears flowed but oh the weight . I used it on and off and one day realised there was an awful smell of smoke and my eyes were stinging . I'd forgotten to put the whistle on and it burned out . It took me weeks to tell her . She sent a replacement and it's sitting in the box- one day !
Hope the friend gets in touch , it's hard but you haven't done anything wrong so it may be some things need saying . On the other thread I nodded at your use of Mug . That's one I had to learn .
I follow the " What doesn't kill you makes you stronger " school of thought . It's either that or huddled in the corner .
I looked at Multi Cookers on the big A site .
Who knew there was 45 in 1 version , The mind boggles .
Take care
polly xx

elona · 5 September 2017 at 6:12PM

There is a blog with slimming recipes and risque stories called two chubby cubs (run the words together but don't click if you are easily offended).

They sometimes recommend gadgets but only ones they genuinely use and like and have something called an instant pot with a link to a sale price on a****n. It is under a hundred pounds. I was very tempted and it does pressure cooking, baking, frying, casseroling etc but I already have my actifry and soup maker on the counter so not sure if I can justify it.

I just spent quite a bit getting the garages cleared of junk and have ordered a guest bed and mattress that can go under the single day bed in the middle bedroom so will wait a couple of weeks before buying anything else, specially as I will need to hire a handyman to do a few odd jobs.

I spent a couple of hours emptying boxes and sorting out towels for the linen cupboard and need to summon up the energy to strip my superking bed and put new bedding on. Think I will do it in stages

pollyanna_26 · 5 September 2017 at 7:05PM

I look at the Instant pot from time to time . I really don't know what I really need . My 90s Multi cooker was brilliant and served well for years when we were all at home . Sadly nothing similar now .
I don't get on with slow cookers , I gave a once used ss one away to a family member . I always used to cook casseroles in a slow conventional oven and only that multi cooker could produce the same results . I had a couple of combination microwaves since the 70s with a conventional setting and side heat which were good . The 4 year old Panasonic is now known as a rogue model , it burns the tops of food and undercooks the rest , As it replaced an earlier version which blew up I wont be buying them again ..
You're really pulling your home together now . I was looking back at the early thread pages at multicookers , mini ovens etc and you were flattening and disposing of cardboard back then . Here's to that final piece of cardboard . :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Take care
polly x

Prinzessilein · 5 September 2017 at 7:52PM

I love my slowcooker...especially with the colder weather coming!

I also have a Halo which has become a very good friend...I can cook stirfries in it....and chips!.....They are virtually fat free, and so simple to cook!...It acts as an oven too...cooking my meat and fish...and can even bake a cake.

What I do NOT have is a conventional oven or hob....there is limited space in my kitchen - and so I get by with my microwave and my Halo (plus the slowcooker....and a mini burger grill)

I used to have a mini-oven but replaced it with the Halo which does so much more.

CRANKY40 · 5 September 2017 at 8:27PM

Elona, I'm a chubby cubs fan. Their travel writing really makes me laugh.

When I first had the kitchen redone I put everything away off the worktops. I'm rearranging it this week to make it more user (me) friendly. Mugs back out on a mug tree, food processor out...that kind of thing. Pressure cookers of any kind frighten me though, and always have done. It the lightweight idea that makes me think multipot. I may have to take a trip to John Lewis and have a look - they seem to have everything and I do like to look at stuff before I research the best price.

Polly my friend will get in touch. This is just what he does when he's stressed (he's done it once before for a reason not connected to me). I'm just missing him a lot at the moment as we're normally in contact daily. I'm assuming by the fact that he went home that he told his sister where to go with her ideas as if he'd been willing to toe the line he would have stayed. We have a very close friendship and his sister used to be ok with it. She's been acting a bit strange lately though so.....

There's a Le Creuset shop at the Cheshire Oaks outlet place. I wonder in occasionally both to admire the stuff and to reassure myself that I could never use it as everyday kitchenware.

pollyanna_26 · 5 September 2017 at 9:16PM

You're like me Cranky I prefer to see and handle things in real life .Eldest daughter sent me a £100 JL voucher for my birthday in June . I can't cope with long journeys anymore so decided if we get a chance in between appointments we'll go to WR which is much nearer and buy some nice things .
I imagine your friend will be in touch sometimes it's just sitting and processing events before doing so . I would otherwise be wary of who you offer support and assistance to the sister's attitude is thoughtless and hurtful to say the least .

Thanks Prinzess for adding the Halo into the options . I remember Larumbelle had a halogen a microwave and a hob . Lots of ideas overall .
Hope you and mum are ok .
polly x

Wednesday2000 · 6 September 2017 at 11:54AM

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

Thank you for your post Wednesday. My daughter was referred to adolescent mh services after many years of a struggle our previous doctor could not sort apart from medication for anxiety, Panic attacks and depression . School wouldn't support her and in her early teens I had a call from school to tell me she had been taken to A&E .
Crisis team were called by the hospital and referred her for assessment.After a lot of face to face and case conferences the very inept Child Psychiatrist decided she had asperger's as she was highly intelligent etc .
I'd never heard of it so started via lot of books researching . Some things fitted but there were glaring differences . She spent a year in daily education aimed at autistic disorders and I should have removed her early on . She had agreed with all concerned to give it a year and I will never forgive myself for allowing that to happen .
Members of staff were saying she didn't have it and none of her needs were being met .
She was already removed from formal ed by me for home schooling after the A&e incident . She went to college after the year to train for her hairdressing qualifications and with support things weren't to hard . We also had a home tutor to supplement my home teaching and I bless the eu for that as their funding allowed that to happen via home ed when our education dept needed to provide an alternative to their usual tutors .
Life was going wrong and those she participated and enjoyed many things she was trying to find somewhere she belonged and friends .
Along came those who target the isolated and vulnerable and the damage of those years has further damaged her and neither of us will truly forget them . I can't watch the police helicopter without recalling when I watched it and knew exactly who it was searching for in the middle of the night .
So medical health began to join the MH . She couldn't physically work as stylist let alone a colourist . In a few years she couldn't walk or run from her demons .
Some crisis mental health admissions later Dr ,DD and I were putting pressure on the adult mh team . We heard attention seeking ' needs to make an effort etc .
One day the leading Psych uttered BPD . DD had already come to that conclusion by online research but had only just handed me a printout about it . We'd never discussed it with any one as we were still trying to determine if it could be an answer .
He wouldn't give a written diagnosis and neither did two more members of the team in the following years who verbally diagnosed it again . The third younger than the others told us why . No support available in the trust and he was leaving because the system had broken .
Our doctor stepped in and arranged counselling and she had three periods of that over time . It was cbt - only thing available . One Counsellor who did two batches put useful tools in the toolbox and near the end threw in some DBT which made a difference . She had suffered herself and is someone else we remember with gratitude .
I would love to find the funds for full DBT and maybe when so much travel expense and other costs reach a lower level will do so .
She doesn't want extreme go back through the past stuff . She has locked boxes and so many we know have lost support after starting to go back .
It's just a good tool kit .
Take care and apologies for a small book . Speaking of which after reading a lot of unhelpful books we both found Borderline Personality Disorder The Facts the most informative and helpful .
polly x

It sounds like you both have been through an awful lot.xx Your daughter and I may have a lot of similar issues it seems. I had quite a time getting the right help too as they weren't sure if it was Bipolar or BPD. One psychiatrist thought I had Asperger's too. The DBT was brilliant in the end, though. I was lucky and I had 18 months of it.

CRANKY40 wrote: »

I'm thinking though that I could probably do with a couple of weeks to myself, especially as I've damaged my Achilles tendon (out walking with house troll

Ouch, someone I know has damaged her Achilles at the moment, it must be painful.xx

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