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  • FIRST POST
    Former MSE Lee
    Real Life MMD: My son broke boy's glasses - should I pay?
    • #1
    • 15th Jun 11, 5:29 PM
    Real Life MMD: My son broke boy's glasses - should I pay? 15th Jun 11 at 5:29 PM
    My son broke boy's glasses - should I pay?


    I was called into school as my son broke another boy's glasses in a play fight. The school questioned them and they admitted they were being stupid but it wasn't malicious. The next day this boy's older brother started bullying my son saying he'd have to pay for the glasses. Now the school have called saying this boys' parents want us to pay 50% (25) towards new glasses. The boy admitted his broken glasses were very old and had been broken several times already. Should I have to pay?

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    Last edited by Former MSE Lee; 21-06-2011 at 7:50 PM.
Page 4
  • JuniperBerry
    Shocking to see people still saying the other parents should be told to "go swivel" that's a ridculous conclusion based on the facts as presented.
    As said before, point out repair / replace should be free (they might not know) and if they have to pay then go halves once they send you the receipt.
    It's the way I'm sure you would want things resolved if the glasses were on the other nose.
    I HATE the developing culture in this country that everyone is trying to rip you off and it is always someone elses fault. NOBODY benefits from that attitude, it just makes life and society miserable for us all.
    Lets have a bit of understanding and a bit of compassion. PLEASE !
    • elisebutt65
    • By elisebutt65 22nd Jun 11, 1:40 PM
    • 3,793 Posts
    • 7,289 Thanks
    elisebutt65
    Actually I remember the original post and it turned out that the broken glasses were NHS free ones and the Parents decided to replace them with 100 worth of designer ones and get the OP to cough up towards them. No extras were required - like fancy lenses etc - They just wanted posh frames and used the play fight as an excuse.

    Key point missed off here is that the parents waited 3 months, whilst junior went without glasses, to get this all sorted out.

    They should really give all the facts in these MMDs
    Noli nothis permittere te terere
    Bad Mothers Club Member No.665
    Student MoneySaving Club member 026! Teacher now and still Moneysaving

  • durezz
    so easy
    i work for specsavers. They will replace broken or lost glasses belonging to anyone under 16 for free on the nhs. So i don't know what the parents are trying to demand money for.
    Originally posted by petaldust

    youv got your answer!
  • LeonV
    As a response to Why the government should be responsible for glasses: The gov is not responsible for glasses, it just helps you being responsible taking away excuses, "I didn't know, there is no help!" etc..
    We have a national health system, a system that helps but will not replace the parent. Working people contribute to it monthly... It is the least we can do.

    It's the parent's responsibility to instil whats moral, healthy, reasonable, acceptable, to the child.
    I use the word instill, not teach. it can be taken as you want.

    It is not as simple as "yes you pay" or "no you don't". Ask the child, does it feel it needs to pay and why. This is the most important thing, making it part of it. You will be surprised how high the moral fiber of a kid is, it might teach you a lesson rather than the opposite. By letting the child teach you a thing or two, you instil some self respect into it.
    Last edited by LeonV; 22-06-2011 at 2:02 PM.
    • jgriggle
    • By jgriggle 22nd Jun 11, 2:02 PM
    • 165 Posts
    • 262 Thanks
    jgriggle
    Seriously, why in Britain in the 21st Century is the government using taxes to give children 'free' glasses? Britons are amongst the richest people in the world. I presume this parental perk is open to all parents regardless of income?!

    It's quite ridiculous that the government should be responsible for buying, repairing and replacing children's glasses.
    Originally posted by ISAmad
    ISAmad, you know this is MoneySavingExpert and not the Daily Mail website don't you?!

    With regards to the dilemma, it may be that the parents are unaware that their child is entitled to a repair or replacement for free.

    Tell them, and if they still demand the money (probably as 'compensation') then you know exactly the sort of people you're dealing with and should tell them to go whistle for it.
    • happyinflorida
    • By happyinflorida 22nd Jun 11, 2:24 PM
    • 787 Posts
    • 678 Thanks
    happyinflorida
    What an absolute cheek these parents have got!

    Get their bullying older kid dealt with by the school immediately.

    Kids get their glasses free-tell them this & to go & get their free glasses & that you will happily pay half towards their free glasses!

    If that doesn't shut them up refer them to the police for demanding money with menaces!

    What are some parents like nowadays - really, really awful!
    • POPPYOSCAR
    • By POPPYOSCAR 22nd Jun 11, 2:29 PM
    • 13,026 Posts
    • 29,129 Thanks
    POPPYOSCAR
    I work for Specsavers. They will replace broken or lost glasses belonging to anyone under 16 for free on the NHS. So I don't know what the parents are trying to demand money for.
    Originally posted by Petaldust
    Even if they are not the NHS free ones?
    • Chipping
    • By Chipping 22nd Jun 11, 2:43 PM
    • 45 Posts
    • 35 Thanks
    Chipping
    As long as both kids were equally messing about when the glasses broke (i.e one was not picking on the other):

    Children damage things all the time, its the child's and the child's parents' responsibility. It appears the other parents are trying to shirk their own responsibility and at the same time opening up the school to administrative work in sorting this out and also legal claims. This is abhorrent as schools are usually cash strapped and don't need to be expending money and staff time in dealing minor nuisance claims like this.

    I would at least deal with the matter by showing some level of involvement, show that you are willing to help (rather than just saying no). Offer to pay 50% or the value of the specs at the time they were broken. Therefore, get a copy of the purchase receipt, calculate depreciation of the specs over the time (as per insurance companies), and then deduct say 50% (total guess) of that value for the pre-existing damage. Then offer to pay 50% of the remaining amount as your share. This will probably end up being very small. Put the offer in a letter to the parents (mention depreciation has been accounted for). Mention that they should be able to get free replacement specs using an NHS contribution available at most opticians. In addition, I would mention you would like to minimise the effort the school has to endure for this minor matter as it affects their ability to educate the children.

    I would also mention the bullying from the older son and that if that happens again you will, reluctantly, have to report it to the police.
  • xstitchcrazee
    I wouldn't pay.
    They were play fighting it was an accident. If the parents then choose to buy designer frames, that is down to them!!
    My daughter when she was in yr 8 accidently dropped her glasses, bent down to retrieve them but not before a vindictive yr 10 student trod on them breaking them beyond repair. I have always had to pay for her frames, because when she started to wear glasses she was the same size as myself and none of the childrens frames fitted her. I did however receive the standard NHS voucher towards the cost of them. I paid for the new glasses without another thought. She needed them to see her work, therefore they are a necessity.
    • chrisjw37
    • By chrisjw37 22nd Jun 11, 3:45 PM
    • 75 Posts
    • 55 Thanks
    chrisjw37
    Guess where the boy got his bullying skills from?

    The parents.

    - Stand fast, offer to pay if they can show depreciation over time and current market value as per a car when its damaged - you never get a new car!

    - Ask for compensation for your sons mental and physical damage also - its worth thousands in court!

    - Childrens glasses are free on the NHS, not BUPA which they may have if rich brat bully, or are no brain Chavs
    in which case a new ferrit would be more useful to poach rabbits for tea with.


    It happened to me when I was 14, the father bought us off so his son could have an uninterrupted chance of a foreign office career.
    The Police wanted to prosecute the bully - he went on to bully his way through life at every opportunity; but could afford to buy the victims off.

    Don't let these nasty people off the hook.
    • LennyB
    • By LennyB 22nd Jun 11, 4:27 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    LennyB
    We had a similar incident. We were away with friends and out of the blue one of the boys decided to throw a cushion at my daughter as she was watching a dvd. They snapped in half, which apart from anything else must have really hurt my daughter.
    The glasses were new, they cost 55 for the frames although the lenses were provided free by the NHS.
    First of all my daughter received no apology from the boy and we received no apology from the parents and there was no offer to pay anything towards a replacement pair. We were so stunned we didn't ask for any contribution but I haven't spoken to the friends since.
  • rapido
    Reminds me of when I was about 10 and at school.

    We all put our lunchboxes on a trolley every morning, presumably so boxes wouldn't be in the way in the classrooms.

    This trolley was on the edge of the playground when two of my classmates decided to have a scuffle not so far away.

    David pushed James who landed on my plastic lunchbox and broke it! I had looked after that box for 5 years!

    Now David's parents refused to have anything to do with it as he said he never actually landed on my lunchbox, and James' parents said that it wasn't his fault that he was pushed in the direction.

    The school did nothing (I thought it was partly their fault for having the lunch trolley in a silly place), so I was left with a sellotaped lunchbox for a year or so!

    James and David had luxurious detached houses in Gerrard's Cross, whilst my father and I were living in a room in a B&B at the time. (thankfully I never really got bullied for being poor..... at least not until grammar school).


    True story, it still surprises me that no-one would take responsibility on such an item so relatively cheap to those concerned.

    I almost can't believe ISAmad's post, but I have to say that people on benefits now (in general) have more money than 20 or so years ago. In our B&B days, our only luxury was a second hand 20" colour tv. The other residents had a coin meter set supplied by the landlord.

    I interviewed a young woman for a job a couple of months ago. She was solely relying on benefits, but somehow managed to use that taxpayers' money to pay for a Sky Sports subscription (40 a month?), the latest flatscreen tv and several mobile telephones. Probably various other luxuries that she didn't mention. Sky Sports was a "must have" that she "couldn't live without". She did a day's work (poorly), and then said she was leaving as staying on benefits was less hard work.

    I still think that children's glasses should be free ... at least where neither of the parents are higher rate taxpayers.
    • flumpet9
    • By flumpet9 22nd Jun 11, 4:49 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    flumpet9
    Should you pay boys glasses
    No i would not pay they should be free anyway or the school should be insured for mishaps. If they were supervising the children then they wouldnt be fighting in the first place. Maybe have your son invite the boy round for tea, kids make up long before adults stop bickering.
  • meghall1995
    Tell them no way as children are children and sooner or later the glasses will be broken again. Also surely within the next year, the child will have their eyes tested and if their prescription changes, they'll be getting new ones anyway
  • MAZ74
    Sorry but I think yes
    Having had this happen to me with my Son, I would think a token payment of 25.00 is ok...Children get 2 x pairs of glasses within a year free on the NHS...if however they break both pairs then you have to pay for the next pair. Obviously this only applies if their prescription hasnt changed within this time as each time a new prescription is required new glasses are issued free of charge.
  • spelter
    I think the boys should be made to realise that even though they were play fighting, if something gets broken, it will have to be fixed or replaced, and someone has to pay for that. I would get them together and ask them "Well who do YOU think should pay?" They'd have to admit that as it was their stupidity that caused this problem, they should pay to put things right. So I'd suggest to the other boy's parents that you should split the cost equally, but stop the money out of both boys' pocket money, until it's paid off. If the boys aren't made to pay the penalty, they'll do it again next week, and break the new glasses, and again the next week! You'll teach them a good lesson for life, and they'll think twice in future before doing something reckless, that could result in something more serious than a broken pair of glasses!
  • Fiona T
    Ummm, what lesson are you teaching your child?
    I think a lot of people here are missing the point, aren't they? The boy's behaviour caused something to be broken, so he should learn he's at least partially responsible for that. If you thought the other parents were ripping you off, you could request sight of the receipt, but I know lots of kids do wear glasses which cost a lot of money, even though free ones are available. If your son broke something in a shop, or a neighbour's window or something, you'd have to pay for that, wouldn't you? I'd pay, then make my son earn the money to pay me back, or take it out of his savings or pocket money. It's more important for him to learn a life lesson that you he is responsible for things he damages than anything else. A lot of the kids I know don't take care of their stuff or anyone else's and look amazed if they get picked up on it. If there's no punishment for your son, he won't think twice about getting in a fight or hitting someone with glasses on again, when surely he ought to learn that it's not a good idea. The bullying by the big brother is a separate issue I would take up with the school.
  • Fiona T
    You presumably don't have a child with glasses! If my child's glasses got broken in a fight, I'd hope the other parents would help out with the cost.
  • Fiona T
    I think the boys should be made to realise that even though they were play fighting, if something gets broken, it will have to be fixed or replaced, and someone has to pay for that. I would get them together and ask them "Well who do YOU think should pay?" They'd have to admit that as it was their stupidity that caused this problem, they should pay to put things right. So I'd suggest to the other boy's parents that you should split the cost equally, but stop the money out of both boys' pocket money, until it's paid off. If the boys aren't made to pay the penalty, they'll do it again next week, and break the new glasses, and again the next week! You'll teach them a good lesson for life, and they'll think twice in future before doing something reckless, that could result in something more serious than a broken pair of glasses!
    Originally posted by spelter
    Very good response; I hadn't read it when I posted mine, otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered!
  • Missb
    i'm a teacher...you should not pay; would you expect someone to pay if you child ripped their trouser knee? no i think not....also many children get them replaced etc on nhs for free!!
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