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    • MSE Archna
    • By MSE Archna 26th Feb 08, 4:49 PM
    • 1,874Posts
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    MSE Archna
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should Marge stop Lisa spending the glam cash?
    • #1
    • 26th Feb 08, 4:49 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should Marge stop Lisa spending the glam cash? 26th Feb 08 at 4:49 PM
    Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

    Should Marge stop Lisa spending the glam cash?

    Having completed her daily chores and odd jobs around the house over eight months, 13 year old Lisa manages to save all the allowance her mother Marge rewards her with, accumulating a respectable £150. Proud of the achievement, Marge enquires how she plans to spend the cash. She replies "I'm going to bleach my hair blonde and buy a pink mini skirt to wear with my new four-inch high heels".

    Click reply to have your say

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    Last edited by Former MSE Wendy; 26-02-2008 at 5:09 PM.
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  • Wiggly_Worm
    • #2
    • 26th Feb 08, 8:14 PM
    • #2
    • 26th Feb 08, 8:14 PM
    Hmm. If she's smart enough to save the cash, then I'd say she can spend it on whatever she likes. Really.
    BUT money aside, those are not "appropriate" purchases for a 13 year old! Surely Lisa would never have said that purely to see the look on her poor mum's face...
    Proud to be dealing with my debts
  • azp74
    • #3
    • 26th Feb 08, 9:46 PM
    • #3
    • 26th Feb 08, 9:46 PM
    Unfortunately, I think Lisa should spend the cash. It was money she earned that she's saved. Yes, she is wasting it, but I think the inappropriateness of her purchases needs to be addressed not in terms of "you can't spend the money like that" but in other ways.

    Also ... you'd hope that, after she's blown it, she'll realise what she's wasted - as long as her parents don't capitulate and pay for the day out/book/movie/etc that she wants the next week.
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    • emily jackson
    • By emily jackson 26th Feb 08, 10:40 PM
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    emily jackson
    • #4
    • 26th Feb 08, 10:40 PM
    • #4
    • 26th Feb 08, 10:40 PM
    I think that Marge, as a parent, has a resposibility for controlling (to an extent) what Lisa buys.
  • stogiebear
    • #5
    • 27th Feb 08, 2:09 AM
    • #5
    • 27th Feb 08, 2:09 AM
    If she's smart and sensible enough to save up all that money she should be allowed this 'wild' adolescent rite of passage with her parents support. We all have to look like a prat when we are young. It's part of being young.

    I'd be very proud to have kids who managed their money so well, regardless of how they dressed!
    • Marisan
    • By Marisan 27th Feb 08, 5:43 AM
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    • #6
    • 27th Feb 08, 5:43 AM
    • #6
    • 27th Feb 08, 5:43 AM
    Well,I don't think that Marge should 'forbid' Lisa from spending the cash on what she wants.Lisa did,in all fairness,earn the money and it is hers to spend how she likes.Marge could try suggesting other things that the money might be better spent on,but if Lisa insists on her way,Marge should let her go ahead.Lisa will learn in time that money is not easily come by,and the excitement of her new purchases will soon fade.It's a lesson we all have to learn (some of us later in life than Lisa!)
    .Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
    • toadhall
    • By toadhall 27th Feb 08, 6:28 AM
    • 326 Posts
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    • #7
    • 27th Feb 08, 6:28 AM
    • #7
    • 27th Feb 08, 6:28 AM
    in our house with 3 daughters, it simply would not happen, Marge should not forbid but strongly discourage it.
    • robnye
    • By robnye 27th Feb 08, 6:38 AM
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    • #8
    • 27th Feb 08, 6:38 AM
    • #8
    • 27th Feb 08, 6:38 AM
    a compromise is required - my 13 yo dd3 would not be allowed to wear 4 inch heels, let alone buy them even with her own money, also the bleaching of hair would be a nono - perhaps a couple of highlights.

    whilst i would commend her for doing the work and saving the money..... as a responsible parent i couldnt let her spend it how she wanted too.
    smile --- it makes people wonder what you are up to....
    • JimmyTheWig
    • By JimmyTheWig 27th Feb 08, 7:48 AM
    • 11,844 Posts
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    • #9
    • 27th Feb 08, 7:48 AM
    • #9
    • 27th Feb 08, 7:48 AM
    In theory of course she's allowed to stop Lisa from buying anything she wants - what if she said she was going to use the money to buy cocaine?

    In this instance I think discouragement (e.g. money paid for odd jobs will go down in the future if you use it inappropriately) and compromise (e.g. highlights (as per robnye) but no heels or mini skirt).
    • JayD
    • By JayD 27th Feb 08, 8:53 AM
    • 529 Posts
    • 334 Thanks
    I think that Marge should have serious talks with Lisa about how she spends the money and insist that she tempers down her original 'glam' plans.

    Although I see Lisa's plans as totally inappropriate for a 13 year old, (and I do not see the school readily accepting the new hair do), in my experience, it is not easy to prevent a determined 13 year old from buying such things.

    So, if the serious chat doesn't work, then confiscation of said purchases and a compulsory re-dye would be my choice.

    Either way, if there was a way to prevent my 13 year old daughter wobbling about on 4" heels in a mini skirt with bleached hair, I would take it - and what I couldn't prevent, I would cure.
    • Dorrie
    • By Dorrie 27th Feb 08, 11:14 AM
    • 66 Posts
    • 46 Thanks
    The senior school that my 13 year old daughter goes to allows the students to dye their hair as long as it is a natural colour (i.e. not green/pink/bright red), and my daughter has gone in with jet black hair.

    I think the daughter should be allowed to spend the money as she earned it. That's not to say that the parents have to allow her to go out in 4 inch heels and a mini-skirt! Again, it depends on exactly how long the mini skirt is!

    My daughter went through a goth phase and bought shoes that had 3 or 4 inch wedges. She soon got fed up of falling off them!

    Also, with the mini skirt, the girls have to wear a kilt to school, which can only be bought at a local, expensive, retailer, and most of them roll the kilt up at the waist, making the skirts very short. The school does what it can to prevent this but you still see loads of girls walking around town looking like tarts.
  • Jennikay
    It's just what children do.

    I remember being about 12, and getting my first pair of (probably about 3 inch) heels.
    After the pain (in my feet and from falling over) I didn't wear heels for years.

    You can try and tell them, but don't expect it to get through to them.

    I like the idea of compromise, i.e. highlights, a medium short skirt, low heels, that sort of thing.
    And if she doesn't agree then confiscate them as soon as you find where she hides them.

    Edit: (She should show Lisa some shops that don't charge £100 for 1 skirt and 1 pair of shoes!)
    Last edited by Jennikay; 27-02-2008 at 4:04 PM.
  • blagger101
    Lisa can spend the money on what she wants. If Marge tries to stop her it will end up in a battle that only Lisa will really ever be able to win.

    Or she could celebrate the fact that Lisa is taking a step closer to adulthood by recruiting a responsible cousin that Lisa admires to go shopping with her. The cousin can give her adult advice and guide her to buy clothes that are not only appropriate, but that are also fashionable (which Marge probably wouldn't know about, even if Lisa would take her advice), and make the shopping trip a bit more special (maybe all go out for meal afterwards as well).

    Lisa will have a great day out. She'll learn about how to buy clothes. Her money won't be wasted. And Marge will maintain a respectful relationship with her daughter.
    • tallgirld
    • By tallgirld 27th Feb 08, 6:09 PM
    • 481 Posts
    • 321 Thanks
    WHAT THE!!!! Hellooooooo a 13 year old with highlights, pink mini and high heels. NO WAY!!!

    I would confiscate the 150 and buy them for me self. LOL ;-)
  • LilMissEvil
    What? Of course she should stop her spending the cash on such things!!

    I'm sorry, but a pink mini-skirt, bleach blonde hair and four inch heels on a 13 year old is just wrong. And it would be very irresponsible of her mother to let her buy them. There's enough sick people in the world without encouraging them by letting 13 year olds dress as tarts.

    Although she could let her buy the clothes and then take them away as a lesson. Though it would be an expensive lesson, and kind of cruel to let her spend 150 on tat, and then just take it away. I like the idea of the compromise on the bleaching of the hair - maybe highlights, or even blonding it without it looking tackily bleached. And I like the idea of letting an older cousin, with a sense of responsibilty take her shopping and help her pick out fashionable clothes suitable for someone so young.

    But yes, the clothes, no way Jose!
  • trejoy
    Lisa can spend the money as she likes. There was no agreement as too its use. I would a girl who was good enough to help mam and had the nonce to save, would be a bit more intelligent than to waste it on rubbish, but then again, the young need to do these things, its part of growing up.
    • JimmyTheWig
    • By JimmyTheWig 29th Feb 08, 11:24 AM
    • 11,844 Posts
    • 11,384 Thanks
    Ooh, I like the idea of letting her buy them (Lisa's money, Marge can't stop her) but confiscating them / not let her wear or use them afterwards.
    To make it fair, she could tell Lisa she'd do that _if_ Lisa bought inappropriate stuff.

    Older cousin idea is probably more sensible, though.
  • harryhound
    WHAT THE!!!! Hellooooooo a 13 year old with highlights, pink mini and high heels. NO WAY!!!

    I would confiscate the 150 and buy them for me self. LOL ;-)
    Originally posted by tallgirld
    That is like stealing their cigarettes and smoking them yourself ?
  • JollyJack
    Seeing as she's worked hard for the money then she should be entitled to spend it. However, I wouldn't let my 13 year old daughter spend it on those particular items. :rolleyes:
  • hyphen-broke
    Hell no!
    If Marge lets Lisa spend all of her money on her hair and clothes (which are all too old for her) she is reinforcing the idea that all worthwhile gain is image based. She should help her see that there as many more lasting and enjoyable things she can buy with her hard earned cash, like a wii or something equally as tangible. If Lisa is allowed to spend her biggest saving yet solely on her appearance it wouldn't surprise me if she ended up as a serial shopper in future.
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