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    • wymondham
    • By wymondham 25th Feb 18, 5:00 PM
    • 5,114Posts
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    wymondham
    50 ... assume long life and be frugal or open up?
    • #1
    • 25th Feb 18, 5:00 PM
    50 ... assume long life and be frugal or open up? 25th Feb 18 at 5:00 PM
    Hi All

    As the title suggests I'm 50 in March..... time to think about things...

    I've got no mortgage, have a nice house, great wife and kids (kids are older and still live at home but that's another story!)

    Got my own IT business which I suspect I'll find increasing difficult to keep up with so may need to scale back soon - been lucky its been successful for 7 years and built up a good base.

    So now I'm 50 I need to think about things - I can't assume I'll have good health forever so really the question is, do I continue to hoard for that rainy day living a good but uneventful life, or start to splash out a bit? I don't want to look back with regrets...

    For example I'd love to buy a share in a narrow boat so we can take longer breaks (I love this but the others need persuading!). I'd also love to stop driving run of the mill cars and get something I really aspire to - a Jag or something! all of these are not really moneysaving, but is moneysaving the whole story when thinking about life?

    My mother lived life to the full with amazing world holidays before getting Alzheimer's - now does not know who I am, and my MIL/FIL live in a big house afraid to spend any money, continually scared of life and suffering poor health - never had holidays or anything extravagant, but have each other and lots of regrets about not doing things they wanted to do before poor health struck....

    What sort of choices have others made when reaching the big 50 ? any hints/tips/advice?
    Last edited by wymondham; 25-02-2018 at 5:26 PM.
Page 1
    • missile
    • By missile 26th Feb 18, 12:21 AM
    • 9,467 Posts
    • 4,710 Thanks
    missile
    • #2
    • 26th Feb 18, 12:21 AM
    • #2
    • 26th Feb 18, 12:21 AM
    No easy answer. Do what feels right for you. Send the kids on holiday and change the locks
    "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
    Ride hard or stay home
    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 26th Feb 18, 6:44 AM
    • 779 Posts
    • 1,055 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    • #3
    • 26th Feb 18, 6:44 AM
    • #3
    • 26th Feb 18, 6:44 AM
    If you find that Crystal Ball...can you lend it to me!!!

    It is the age old question isn't it. How many years have you got?

    IMO all you can do is take the middle ground. Do some of the things that you consider WANTS, but always make sure that your NEEDS are taken care of. No point being the richest person in the Graveyard (unless you're planning on leaving large inheritance), but then if you live to 105, you don't want to be living on Beans on Toast either.
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow "
    • celinepatricia
    • By celinepatricia 26th Feb 18, 2:17 PM
    • 416 Posts
    • 287 Thanks
    celinepatricia
    • #4
    • 26th Feb 18, 2:17 PM
    • #4
    • 26th Feb 18, 2:17 PM
    you've only go one life...go live it!!!

    my husband died at 58 just when we were about to start living life as we wanted to. I then suffered a cardiac arrest and several strokes at 59...

    do all you can while you can x
    • missile
    • By missile 26th Feb 18, 2:43 PM
    • 9,467 Posts
    • 4,710 Thanks
    missile
    • #5
    • 26th Feb 18, 2:43 PM
    • #5
    • 26th Feb 18, 2:43 PM
    Click here > what a way to go
    "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
    Ride hard or stay home
    • enator
    • By enator 26th Feb 18, 6:52 PM
    • 98 Posts
    • 116 Thanks
    enator
    • #6
    • 26th Feb 18, 6:52 PM
    • #6
    • 26th Feb 18, 6:52 PM
    Read this Rowntree report;

    https://www.jrf.org.uk/report/minimum-income-standards-and-older-pensioners-needs

    Bit depressing, bottom line is that it's pretty much over by 72 for an active, healthyish existence

    So run your budget to that age & you will be fine
    • missile
    • By missile 26th Feb 18, 7:42 PM
    • 9,467 Posts
    • 4,710 Thanks
    missile
    • #7
    • 26th Feb 18, 7:42 PM
    • #7
    • 26th Feb 18, 7:42 PM
    Read this Rowntree report;
    Originally posted by enator
    I wonder how much time and money was spent to reach those ... earth shattering conclusions.
    "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
    Ride hard or stay home
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 27th Feb 18, 9:03 AM
    • 24,039 Posts
    • 62,636 Thanks
    pollypenny
    • #8
    • 27th Feb 18, 9:03 AM
    • #8
    • 27th Feb 18, 9:03 AM
    Read this Rowntree report;

    https://www.jrf.org.uk/report/minimum-income-standards-and-older-pensioners-needs

    Bit depressing, bottom line is that it's pretty much over by 72 for an active, healthyish existence

    So run your budget to that age & you will be fine
    Originally posted by enator


    Good lord, no!

    OH will be 75 soon, I am nearly 71. We are still with of life and love travelling, the cinema and theatre as well as lots of activities with U3A.

    Our 70s look totally different to those of the previous generation.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • Ilona
    • By Ilona 27th Feb 18, 12:06 PM
    • 2,081 Posts
    • 7,144 Thanks
    Ilona
    • #9
    • 27th Feb 18, 12:06 PM
    • #9
    • 27th Feb 18, 12:06 PM
    Hi All

    As the title suggests I'm 50 in March..... time to think about things...

    Got my own IT business which I suspect I'll find increasing difficult to keep up with so may need to scale back soon - been lucky its been successful for 7 years and built up a good base.

    So now I'm 50 I need to think about things - I can't assume I'll have good health forever so really the question is, do I continue to hoard for that rainy day living a good but uneventful life, or start to splash out a bit? I don't want to look back with regrets...

    For example I'd love to buy a share in a narrow boat so we can take longer breaks (I love this but the others need persuading!). I'd also love to stop driving run of the mill cars and get something I really aspire to - a Jag or something! all of these are not really moneysaving, but is moneysaving the whole story when thinking about life?

    What sort of choices have others made when reaching the big 50 ? any hints/tips/advice?
    Originally posted by wymondham
    Ok, one point at a time. Why will you find it increasingly difficult to keep up and need to scale back? Are you not feeling well now? Do you want to get out of it? I drove a lorry for 32 years, felt fit enough to carry on but was getting bored. I went part time at 55, perhaps you could do that if you are still physically able. I fully retired at 60, still as fit as a fiddle.

    You can't assume you will have good health forever. Why not? Maybe not forever, but if you are healthy now and have a positive outlook on life, with healthy eating and exercise, you could go on another 30 years with good health.

    Money saving is not the whole story when thinking about life. Balance is important. Balancing what makes you happy with the resources you have. Responsibility is also important, you being responsible for your own actions. If things go pear shape and you made a bad decision, suck it up and carry on. If things turn out hunkydory, celebrate. For instance I thought it was a good idea to buy a catering trailer and set up on an industrial estate. Damn silly idea, what was I thinking, I hated it. Sold trailer, lost £1000. My fault.

    I would say don't hoard money, keep enough in an emergency fund. Be realistic about what your priorities are. Do what you want to do while you are still able. That's how I live my life now. Best of luck.
    Ilona
    I love skip diving
    • Arthurian
    • By Arthurian 27th Feb 18, 2:50 PM
    • 649 Posts
    • 586 Thanks
    Arthurian
    If you spend more time at home rather than working, there may be more potential for family conflict, particularly if you are lumbered with a part share in a gradually rotting narrowboat which she never wanted in the first place, and which you might not be able to sell. Wouldn't it be better to take her on regular narrowboat holidays or river cruises, perhaps?
    I'd like to have enough in reserve to pay for a new hip or two if ever needed, after recent news scares about the NHS making people wait too long in agony. And more holidays. And taxis for nights out when my eyesight and driving confidence goes. And a replacement conservatory when this one reaches the end of its life. And a gardener. Things not mentioned in that Rowntree Report on the expenses of old age. If you've spare cash after making sure you have provided for your old age, then get the dream car!
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 28th Feb 18, 12:20 AM
    • 10,064 Posts
    • 62,858 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Interesting question. And lots of great answers.

    Here is my take.

    First of all age is just a number.

    How you age is down to lifestyle choices. Eat healthily, exercise, keep your brain active, have fun, laugh and love, find your passion in life, learn something new every day and you will age well. That Rowntree report is horribly dated in the way it portrays aging. 70 really is the new 50. Our grandparents were old at 50. We are not. There is no real reason why, with a bit of luck and a bit of effort on our part, we cannot stay healthy well into our 80s and beyond.

    However, Arthurian is right you may well need to pay for help or for medical expenses at some point so probably best not to blow all your money on fast cars, boats etc just yet.

    I am 67 and retired. I live simply and modestly but very well. I eat well, run a car, wear nice clothes etc and can buy what I want within reason but I do not splash the cash for the sake of it.

    Despite having what many would deem a fairly modest retirement income, I still save roughly one third of my net income. The money I save gets split into two pots, some goes to my long term savings, along with my investment income which is reinvested. I have not started drawing that down yet. The rest goes into intermediate savings which I use for special treats such as holidays. I do love to travel and intend to carry on as long as I am able.

    (Travel insurance gets very expensive once you hit 80).

    I have just come back from a leisurely 6 week holiday in which I visited the Amazon, the Azores and the West Indies. Fabulous. I can do this without depleting my savings because I live what some might call a frugal life but what I would prefer to term a simple life.

    Like Ilona says it is all about balance and responsibility. Yes we have to safeguard our financial future but if we are savvy then we can still have plenty of fun as well.

    Btw buying a Jaguar is not quite as ridiculous as it may seem, although they are thirsty though. It all depends on the mileage you will be doing. If you are not doing long commutes then it might not break the bank.

    My motto.......Life is short. Take the trip, Buy the shoes, Eat the Cake!

    As long as you do not leave yourself destitute in your old age. Lol.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 28-02-2018 at 12:36 AM.
    • ManofLeisure
    • By ManofLeisure 28th Feb 18, 9:41 AM
    • 438 Posts
    • 993 Thanks
    ManofLeisure

    How you age is down to lifestyle choices..
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    That isn't necessarily correct. My son is an oncologist and 'many' of the patients he treats have made what one might consider 'healthy lifestyle choices'. Indeed, my wife has battled breast cancer for many years and this hasn't been a consequence of her 'lifestyle choices'.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 28th Feb 18, 1:07 PM
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    • 62,858 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    That isn't necessarily correct. My son is an oncologist and 'many' of the patients he treats have made what one might consider 'healthy lifestyle choices'. Indeed, my wife has battled breast cancer for many years and this hasn't been a consequence of her 'lifestyle choices'.
    Originally posted by ManofLeisure
    I am very sorry to hear about your wife. I do hope she wins her fight. However, I think you are taking what I said out of context. Of course there will be exceptions. I fully appreciate that not all illness is lifestyle related but I was not talking about illness, I was discussing aging.

    My husband died young, through no fault of his own. He was as fit as a fiddle, quite an athlete in fact, but he contracted a rare neurological condition when he was 49 and died when he was 57. He was just unlucky. Sadly just one of those things.

    I am always minded of the saying that aging is a privilege denied to many. Many do not even make it to retirement age, let alone make old bones. So, yes, I agree, sometimes death and serious illness has nothing to do with lifestyle

    However I stand by what I say......if we want to age well, then I think we have to live well. We have to take care of ourselves.

    We now know that many of our modern ailments, including some cancers, are lifestyle related. Heart disease, diabetes, strokes etc. And we know that we can help ourselves to avoid at least some of the worst ravages of old age.

    If we can remain active during the early years of retirement, eat well, exercise etc then we do improve the odds of remaining fitter and stronger for longer. It is not a given that we will suddenly become decrepit the day we hit 72.

    Obviously choosing the right parents helps.

    A good genetic inheritance is a huge advantage but it is not the whole picture. We can squander a good genetic inheritance but we can also cheat a bad one. I really do think lifestyle choices are hugely important.

    I believe that if we want to age well and remain strong and healthy for as long as possible then we have to work at it. I believe that becoming a sofa sloth and stuffing our faces with processed foods is not the recipe for a long and vigorous life.

    Obviously there are people who take a different view.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 28-02-2018 at 1:17 PM.
    • Ilona
    • By Ilona 28th Feb 18, 1:37 PM
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    Ilona
    I was not talking about illness, I was discussing aging.

    yes, I agree, sometimes death and serious illness has nothing to do with lifestyle

    However I stand by what I say......if we want to age well, then I think we have to live well. We have to take care of ourselves.

    We now know that many of our modern ailments, including some cancers, are lifestyle related. Heart disease, diabetes, strokes etc. And we know that we can help ourselves to avoid at least some of the worst ravages of old age.

    If we can remain active during the early years of retirement, eat well, exercise etc then we do improve the odds of remaining fitter and stronger for longer. It is not a given that we will suddenly become decrepit the day we hit 72.

    Obviously choosing the right parents helps.

    A good genetic inheritance is a huge advantage but it is not the whole picture. We can squander a good genetic inheritance but we can also cheat a bad one. I really do think lifestyle choices are hugely important.

    I believe that if we want to age well and remain strong and healthy for as long as possible then we have to work at it. I believe that becoming a sofa sloth and stuffing our faces with processed foods is not the recipe for a long and vigorous life.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    Too true, LL, I could have written that myself. I didn't choose the right parents, father died at 46, mother died at 64, they lived totally unhealthy lifestyles, drinking and smoking, in an unhappy stressful marriage. I am hoping I take after my uncle who lived 93 years. In the meantime I am doing everything I can to stay healthy, but even that does not guarantee I will have a long life. Whatever I die from, it won't be my fault.

    Listen to and watch Dr Rangan Chattergee, he was the Doctor who went to live with families to sort out their unhealthy lifestyles. He has youtube videos which explain it all. As LL, and the Doctor says, you can reverse type 2 diabetes, and avoid a lot of heart problems, by just eating healthy and exercising. I wish more people would get a handle on this. I see people of my age traipsing past my house on their way to the doctors surgery, then traipsing back again with their medication. One woman asked me if I had any problems getting my medication, as they were a bit slow. She was aghast when I said I don't need medication, there is nothing wrong with me. Popping pills it seems is the norm now.

    Ilona
    I love skip diving
    • Gers
    • By Gers 28th Feb 18, 2:20 PM
    • 6,479 Posts
    • 41,213 Thanks
    Gers
    All I can add is 'hear, hear'.

    I reached the age of 64 this week. My only sibling died very suddenly aged just 56 years and one of his sons died in 2015 aged 34 years. My father died aged 81 and my mother is going strong as a rising 90 year old.

    It's a lottery!

    I work part time and have my own way the rest of the time. Don't spend as freely as I could as I now have everything I want or need. Travel is still exciting and now I prefer the 'luxury' of using trains when possible / practicable rather than flying. As I was flying across to Oz for the funeral of my nephew a fellow traveller pulled out a card he was given when he retired - the legend said 'travel first class, your beneficiaries will'. And we both were!

    Plan for a good future but make sure you also enjoy a great now!
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 28th Feb 18, 2:39 PM
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    lessonlearned
    Ilona. I am 67. I like to think I am still in pretty good nick. no major problems and like you I do not take any medications.

    Do not worry too much about your genetic inheritance. I know from reading your blog (which I love Btw) that you lead a healthy lifestyle and that you do a lot of walking. I am sure you will do better than your parents.

    My genetic inheritance is good in that both parents lived to 90. But they aged very differently. Dad could not understand why mum was so much “older” than him when they were the same age but I think it was really very simple. It was their lifestyles.

    Whilst dad remained vigourous to the end, my mum was in a very sorry state. She ate her way to type 2 diabetes and refused to exercise or do anything that required expending a bit of energy. She would not even walk if she could avoid it. On the other hand dad ate sensibly, walked, exercised, did all his own diy, and worked on his allotment most days.

    My mother took the view that her diabetes was genetic and inevitable, that she was doomed so she made no attempt to deal with it. She did the bare minimum of activity and just sat around eating and getting fatter. She took the pills and later injected herself, eventually having a series of strokes. It was awful.

    I noticed my blood sugars were creeping up and took action. I vowed I would not end up like mum. Now my sugar levels are normal..

    One of the things I am also working on is my balance. It is so important as we age to retain good balance to minimise the risk of falls. I do yoga to try and improve both balance and posture (I want to avoid the dreaded dowagers hump).

    I did have have a serious fall a few weeks ago. I was in a ship and it was very stormy, the ship was pitching and tossing all over the place, throwing people across the room. Many suffered broken bones and fractures and had to fly home. I was lucky in that I did not suffer any broken bones only soft tissue injuries. So at least I know my bones are still ok. I do walk regularly and use hand weights and resistance bands when exercising but I am going to up my game and add proper strength training to my regime.

    Anyway Thanks for the recommendation for Dr Chattergees research. I will look it up.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 28th Feb 18, 2:52 PM
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    lessonlearned
    Gers.......Like you i now also prefer the luxury of trains. And like you I always travel first class.

    I am sooooo worth it.
    • Ilona
    • By Ilona 28th Feb 18, 5:16 PM
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    • 7,144 Thanks
    Ilona
    Hi LL. How awful to see your mum deteriorate like that, and not be able to do anything about it. Thankfully there is a lot more health information out there now, that's if people choose to read it and take it in.

    I was with my mum when she had her first heart attack, luckily I got a doctor to attend very quickly. We laid her out on the floor and he started bashing his fist down on her chest, her heart had stopped. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but something told me it wasn't the right time to go. An ambulance came, and she survived that one. We had no indication that this was going to happen, even though she was overweight. She didn't survive the second one six months later.

    We can only do the best we can for ourselves. I have a friend who is borderline Type 2, but she still eats the wrong things. She seems happy enough. I wish she would try a bit harder to get her weight under control. At the end of the day everyone is responsible for what they put in their mouth.

    Ilona
    I love skip diving
    • pearl123
    • By pearl123 8th Mar 18, 10:02 PM
    • 1,394 Posts
    • 2,074 Thanks
    pearl123
    You can still be frugal and also have adventures. For example, Travelzoo is good for breaks/holidays.

    I suppose balance is they key. Save and spend.
    • badmemory
    • By badmemory 9th Mar 18, 1:51 AM
    • 1,706 Posts
    • 2,302 Thanks
    badmemory
    The difference between mid fifties and early 70's would appear to be "in the eye of the beholder". I have a friend (mid fifties) who doesn't leave home without a change of clothes, this avoids a previous scenario where she went into a store (wet through) & had to buy lower garments!. I leave home (early 70's) wondering where a toilet would be around roughly 3 hours from now.

    I gave up mentioning pelvic floor exercises almost 20 years ago.
    Last edited by badmemory; 09-03-2018 at 1:54 AM.
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