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  • FIRST POST
    Former MSE Darryl
    Real-life MMD: I've won a 100 vch - must I pay for my friends?
    • #1
    • 4th Apr 13, 1:20 PM
    Real-life MMD: I've won a 100 vch - must I pay for my friends? 4th Apr 13 at 1:20 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: I've won a 100 vch - must I pay for my friends?

    I've won a 100 restaurant voucher, and have invited two friends to dine with me. I'm having financial problems at the moment, so is it OK to ask my friends to pay their share to me in cash, while I use the voucher to pay? Or should I just pay the first 100 and then let them split anything above that?

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    Last edited by Former MSE Debs; 09-04-2013 at 3:54 PM.
Page 1
    • Pmarmalade
    • By Pmarmalade 9th Apr 13, 8:28 PM
    • 157 Posts
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    Pmarmalade
    • #2
    • 9th Apr 13, 8:28 PM
    • #2
    • 9th Apr 13, 8:28 PM
    Oh that's a tough one.

    I personally wouldn't feel right charging friends for something I got for free. I'd have to disclose that I had the voucher from the offset and am willing to treat them up to the value of 100 if they want to cover the excess/tip if we go over.

    If I really needed the money that much I would try to sell the voucher (ebay, Gumtree etc.) for a % of its face value.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 9th Apr 13, 8:34 PM
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    elsien
    • #3
    • 9th Apr 13, 8:34 PM
    • #3
    • 9th Apr 13, 8:34 PM
    I wouldn't ask them to pay - if you're inviting someone out with you because you've won something it wouldn't feel right to me to then ask them for money. Its just not what friends do, and it's a bit of a cheek. Plus if it's a dearer restaurant, it is somewhere they'd choose/afford to go themselves?
    I'd go out, enjoy the treat, check with them first if they're ok to pay anything over 100 as long as it's not silly money, and have a good time out with my friends. Of course if they wanted to buy me a drink or two, I wouldn't say no.
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  • Sian1991
    • #4
    • 9th Apr 13, 9:33 PM
    • #4
    • 9th Apr 13, 9:33 PM
    Tricky one!

    I think it depends on what expectations they have to be honest. If they're already expecting to have to pay for their share of the meal then I don't see why giving the money to you should be a problem - it won't be costing them personally any more than they're already expecting to pay and they'd be helping a friend out too in doing so. The fact that the voucher was free to you personally shouldn't matter because it has monetary value in the restaurant - you'd still be paying your share. Of course, if the meal was over 100 in total that would make things harder to work out!

    On the other hand, if their expectation is that you're treating them with the voucher, I personally wouldn't feel right asking them to pay if the total was under 100 and it wasn't costing you personally. If it was over that amount, then offering the 100 and splitting the excess equally between you is perfectly reasonable. This is something that you'd definitely be best, however, establishing before you go, so you all know where you stand. If they offer any objection to that, I would mention your situation and the fact you'd still be contributing more than your share of the bill. I'm sure they'd be understanding about it.

    Hope that helps a bit!
    Last edited by Sian1991; 10-04-2013 at 2:32 AM.
    • happyinflorida
    • By happyinflorida 9th Apr 13, 10:43 PM
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    happyinflorida
    • #5
    • 9th Apr 13, 10:43 PM
    • #5
    • 9th Apr 13, 10:43 PM
    Well how have you asked them to dine with you? What information have you given them?! Grrrrr - why don't people give more information?!

    Did you tell them about the voucher?

    You're not going to be popular if you ask them to pay and you've got a voucher unless they know you're broke and that you need the money and they are used to you being like this and accept you for it.
    • svmitche
    • By svmitche 9th Apr 13, 11:41 PM
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    svmitche
    • #6
    • 9th Apr 13, 11:41 PM
    • #6
    • 9th Apr 13, 11:41 PM
    I have done this with friends in the past, and we always split any discount between us. Eg my friend is a student, so gets student rate for theatre tickets, so we split the total cost between us, so each pays a bit less.

    I would contribute the 100, then anything spent above that should be split equally between the three of you.

    If you are having money problems, then sell the voucher and go out with your friends somewhere cheaper that you can all afford.
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    • sparky0138
    • By sparky0138 10th Apr 13, 4:59 AM
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    sparky0138
    • #7
    • 10th Apr 13, 4:59 AM
    • #7
    • 10th Apr 13, 4:59 AM
    Either share it with your friends or as svmitche suggested, sell it and go somewhere cheaper you can all afford.
    • klakierro
    • By klakierro 10th Apr 13, 7:35 AM
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    klakierro
    • #8
    • 10th Apr 13, 7:35 AM
    • #8
    • 10th Apr 13, 7:35 AM
    I have done this with friends in the past, and we always split any discount between us. Eg my friend is a student, so gets student rate for theatre tickets, so we split the total cost between us, so each pays a bit less.

    I would contribute the 100, then anything spent above that should be split equally between the three of you.

    If you are having money problems, then sell the voucher and go out with your friends somewhere cheaper that you can all afford.
    Originally posted by svmitche
    I feel that the student discounts are given to students - because we don't work. I don't understand why your friends splits his/her discount with you guys? If you are not students, you don't get a discount. Simple.

    Sorry for this slight offtop, I think either sell the voucher or tell your friends to pay anything above 100 - you are already treating them to that amount so I don't see why you would have to contribute to the amount above 100.
    • robpw2
    • By robpw2 10th Apr 13, 7:38 AM
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    robpw2
    • #9
    • 10th Apr 13, 7:38 AM
    • #9
    • 10th Apr 13, 7:38 AM
    im afraid we would all pay seperarlty im not being mean or harsh but , i would pay for my meal and they cn pay for theres , no one should expect a free meal


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  • elliep
    It depends entirely on what you've already told your friends. If you said 'I've won a voucher so let's all go out to (expensive restaurant) for a nice meal' Then you should put in the 100 and share any extra between the three of you. If you've discussed it beforehand then you could arrange for them to split any extra just between the two of them.
    If what you said to them was more along the lines of 'I feel like going for a nice meal at (expensive restaurant), would you like to join me' then they were expecting to pay and you might get away with taking their cash and paying with the voucher. Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable with that though as I'd be worried they would somehow find out later and be upset.

    You could try telling them about the voucher but then explaining about your financial situation and asking them to contribute half the cost of their meal? i.e. you each spend 30, with tip you decide to pay the restaurant 100 so they each give you 15 and you hand over your voucher. You go home with 30 you didn't start with, your friends get a 30 meal for 15, there aren't any secrets and everyone is happy? (of course that's using very simplified numbers and I don't know how to deal with any extra over the 100 bill)
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  • bekki0405
    im afraid we would all pay seperarlty im not being mean or harsh but , i would pay for my meal and they cn pay for theres , no one should expect a free meal
    Originally posted by robpw2
    I don't think the point here is that the friends are expecting to get a free meal, but that this person has invited them out to this specific place as that's where her voucher is for, and thinks maybe its ok for her to use her voucher for herself, whilst her friends pay the full price of their meal.
    I would put yourself in their place, and imagine how you would feel if the situation was reversed. If you feel that you would be happy paying for you meal, whilst one of the friends used a voucher just for her, then maybe your friends will be ok too.
    Me personally, I would feel a bit cross, as I would think its a but rude to have invited me out and then used the 100 just for themselves. Added to the fact that 100 restaurant voucher suggests that it will pay for a group meal, not just a single meal.
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    • Hezzawithkids
    • By Hezzawithkids 10th Apr 13, 8:37 AM
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    Hezzawithkids
    I would contribute the 100, then anything spent above that should be split equally between the three of you.

    If you are having money problems, then sell the voucher and go out with your friends somewhere cheaper that you can all afford.
    Originally posted by svmitche
    This ^^^^^^
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  • safe4life
    should i shouldnt i ?
    Easy... Pay the bill anything more than 100 your mates pick up the tab.
  • jakntone
    You invited your friends, of course you should pay. How could any one think otherwise?
    • Fluff15
    • By Fluff15 10th Apr 13, 8:53 AM
    • 1,324 Posts
    • 3,134 Thanks
    Fluff15
    It depends on whether you've invited them out on the premise that you've won the voucher, and you gave them the impression it's on you.

    However, since it's a free voucher and isn't actually costing you anything - if they're good friends you should treat them. I'm sure they'd be very grateful. Any difference over 100 you should split between yourselves.
    • chocaholicmanc
    • By chocaholicmanc 10th Apr 13, 8:55 AM
    • 60 Posts
    • 67 Thanks
    chocaholicmanc
    Where are you going that one persons bill will come to 100?!

    That aside; honesty is definitely the best policy. Be upfront with your friends. If they already know you have the voucher I'd guess they're expecting to pay anything above the 100. I think if you explain you're skint and ask that the voucher covers your meal completely and then they pay anything above 100 between them that would be fair. As long as they know that they should be ok with it.
    • mrbrightside842
    • By mrbrightside842 10th Apr 13, 9:04 AM
    • 1,239 Posts
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    mrbrightside842
    I'd feel a bit miffed that I'd been invited out only so that the winner could profit from me by 'selling a meal' to me.
    • sideways-sid
    • By sideways-sid 10th Apr 13, 10:05 AM
    • 5 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    sideways-sid
    Easy! If you're planning a fun night out with friends, have one!

    Tell them in advance about the voucher, and split anything over its value between you.

    If you're unable to afford the surplus, why didn't you just invite one friend??? Then the voucher would cover your first 50 instead of 33.

    Incidentally, a friend of mine has invited me and three others out for drinks on Friday eve, and has a similar 100 bar tab to spend. Its a no-brainer for me that we'll use the tab, and we'll just buy drinks/rounds in the usual way when the tab is exhausted.

    • Augustus the Strong
    • By Augustus the Strong 10th Apr 13, 10:26 AM
    • 303 Posts
    • 312 Thanks
    Augustus the Strong
    You've WON a hundred-pound restaurant voucher and invited your two friends to share your good fortune, but when you get there, you're expecting to stuff your own face to the tune of 100 while your friends pay for themselves? That hardly seems reasonable.

    As you are hard up and this is 100 free bonus offer, I suggest that you and your two friends enjoy a nice 33 meal each, stay within your means and you go home happy & feeling generous (at no cost to yourself) instead of stuffed to the gills with two disgruntled ex-friends.
    • Gizasmum
    • By Gizasmum 10th Apr 13, 10:28 AM
    • 210 Posts
    • 379 Thanks
    Gizasmum
    I would question your relationship with your friends. I know I wouldn't want someone so miserable as my friend, who would ask me out on a freebie they had then expect me to give them cash for the third that would be spent on me. Seems very underhand not to put the voucher in the pot.

    I do however think it would be perfectly ok for the three of you to split any balance over the 100. Also if I was one of the friends, provided that the price wasn't astronomical, I would insist that me and the other friend paid for the wine and covered the tip.
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