Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
Page 1
    • billbennett
    • By billbennett 3rd May 11, 10:02 PM
    • 2,270 Posts
    • 1,623 Thanks
    billbennett
    • #2
    • 3rd May 11, 10:02 PM
    • #2
    • 3rd May 11, 10:02 PM
    I'd probably do it a week earlier/later, and relay it as a "funny story" about how it should have been the next/last week but your mate "ballsed up". Best mates always rib each other about this kind of thing, and it'll be something to chortle about in later years.
    In "Monopoly", what makes the "Super Tax" so super?
    • Petaldust
    • By Petaldust 3rd May 11, 10:11 PM
    • 48 Posts
    • 180 Thanks
    Petaldust
    • #3
    • 3rd May 11, 10:11 PM
    • #3
    • 3rd May 11, 10:11 PM
    I'd probably do it a week earlier/later, and relay it as a "funny story" about how it should have been the next/last week but your mate "ballsed up". Best mates always rib each other about this kind of thing, and it'll be something to chortle about in later years.
    Originally posted by billbennett
    ...none of which actually answers the question
  • mayling03
    • #4
    • 3rd May 11, 10:51 PM
    • #4
    • 3rd May 11, 10:51 PM
    Can't you move the date backward/forward?
    • suelizab
    • By suelizab 4th May 11, 12:19 AM
    • 197 Posts
    • 560 Thanks
    suelizab
    • #5
    • 4th May 11, 12:19 AM
    • #5
    • 4th May 11, 12:19 AM
    If you cannot move the date then i think you should split it between

    you . BUT, if your boyfriend has booked this holiday without

    including YOU then i would make HIM foot the bill .
    • Gresp
    • By Gresp 4th May 11, 1:07 AM
    • 30 Posts
    • 63 Thanks
    Gresp
    • #6
    • 4th May 11, 1:07 AM
    Idiot friend should pay
    • #6
    • 4th May 11, 1:07 AM
    This friend sounds like an idiot.

    When do the other guests think the party is? On the date you booked, or on the date this friend has incorrectly stated?

    If the former, try and persuade your boyfriend to cancel his trip (you might have to tell him the full story and ruin the surprise - although hopefully he'll see the funny side) - and make the friend compensate him for flights etc.

    If the latter, try and rearrange the booking. If the venue can't do this and you'll lose your money, you've every right to ask the friend to pay up. It's his fault. (Although hopefully you've only given a deposit, and haven't paid in full yet.)
  • bayness0
    • #7
    • 4th May 11, 7:33 AM
    Of course he shouldn't pay
    • #7
    • 4th May 11, 7:33 AM
    To be honest this is a bit of a stupid question. You asked the friend to do this as a favour - somehow the dates got muddled up - you may have given him the wrong dates.

    As an aside, if your boyfriend wants to go away without you - dump him.
    • tallgirld
    • By tallgirld 4th May 11, 7:37 AM
    • 475 Posts
    • 315 Thanks
    tallgirld
    • #8
    • 4th May 11, 7:37 AM
    • #8
    • 4th May 11, 7:37 AM
    Is there not an option of changing the date of the party? If not just have the party without him!!
  • kna
    • #9
    • 4th May 11, 8:02 AM
    It's a genuine mistake.
    • #9
    • 4th May 11, 8:02 AM
    Whilst it's annoying, it's certainly not directly your friends fault, it's easy to get dates mixed up and more checking between you would have avoided it.

    In this case I think it's you who should cancel or rearrange as it's the 'lesser' of two costs. Take it on the chin and put it down to experience.

    However, I have to agree about the odd situation where your boyfriend has booked a holiday abroad which neither you or his best friend had any idea about!
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 4th May 11, 8:24 AM
    • 8,403 Posts
    • 29,529 Thanks
    Primrose
    Rather than lose the money, I'd go ahead and hold the party anyway as an early/late birthday present for yourself without your boyfriend. He can hardly complain. After all, he's booked a holiday for himself without consulting you.
    • _nate
    • By _nate 4th May 11, 9:15 AM
    • 60 Posts
    • 39 Thanks
    _nate
    How much were the flights? If they are cheap ones, losing them will cost a lot less than losing money on a venue.

    Anyway, the ditzy friend you chose to help shouldn't pay. What a flimsy way of securing your boyfriend for the weekend! If I wanted to go away on holiday, I would prioritise that over a "guys' night out" which could be done any day and hardly needs to be planned in advance.
    • ShakeyStacey
    • By ShakeyStacey 4th May 11, 9:59 AM
    • 34 Posts
    • 49 Thanks
    ShakeyStacey
    How clingy are you lot that you'd all dump your boyfriends for going away without you?

    Unfortunately something has gone wrong here, but you can't blame it on one guy. It's the risk you take with suprise parties. Try explaining to the venue and see if they will cut you some slack.
  • laughing cow
    How clingy are you lot that you'd all dump your boyfriends for going away without you?
    Originally posted by ShakeyStacey
    I agree - I was quite shocked by some of the replies that the boyfriend should be dumped or made to pay! We often take separate trips from one another - I wouldn't want him to come with me on a girls spa weekend!
  • badgerwatchers
    an unfortunate mix up all round - lesson one always put dates in writing even to friends.
    see if you can chnge the date at the venue you have booked if not i think the loss is down to you for not checking that his mate had the date firmly in mind.

    i think those prepared to dump the boyfriend on the grounds of going away are shallow - more important that he didn't communicate with you before commiting to the flights for his trip, but maybe this relationship isn't that longstanding?
  • Pellyman
    THAT'S LIFE ! If the venue won't change the date or offer a refund - THAT'S LIFE TOO. If the 'friend' hasn't already offered to pay (or share) you could be in trouble - BUT THAT'S LIFE. If your boyfriend is flying off without a nice girl like you then - THAT WAS LIFE, time to start again. Better luck next time.
    • happyinflorida
    • By happyinflorida 4th May 11, 10:54 AM
    • 724 Posts
    • 610 Thanks
    happyinflorida
    This is your boyfriend?! And he's booked a weekend away without telling you? He's booked the flight without telling you?! Are you really going out with someone like this? Is this a story or real life?!
    This whole story is so far fetched I don't believe it and I'm not giving any answer as it's just too wrong to be true!
    • elizabethhull
    • By elizabethhull 4th May 11, 10:58 AM
    • 279 Posts
    • 1,812 Thanks
    elizabethhull
    Yet another example of how surprise parties can go wrong - the scope for misunderstandings is huge!
    If it's the sort of relationship where separate holidays are not an issue, why were you not told earlier? As usual, we need to know more than is said.

    If it's just the deposit you'd lose, I'd just chalk it up to life - irritating but there you go.
    If you've already paid for the lot, then tell your boyfriend you're holding a party without him, he might just choose to stay & celebrate with you. If not, well you can have a good time without him, just as he is having without you. I would have thought the guests would think it very funny and you have a great anecdote to tell for ages! (Btw, a friend of mine held an engagement party for her son and prospective DIL, and NEITHER of them could attend!! We all thought it was hilarious).

    And no, the friend may be an idiot, but he is definitely not liable financially.
    Last edited by elizabethhull; 04-05-2011 at 11:01 AM. Reason: forgot a sentence!
    • Ebenezer_Screwj
    • By Ebenezer_Screwj 4th May 11, 11:25 AM
    • 420 Posts
    • 229 Thanks
    Ebenezer_Screwj
    You have been badly let down, the friend must make good your loss.
  • Losinmoney
    How clingy are you lot that you'd all dump your boyfriends for going away without you?

    Unfortunately something has gone wrong here, but you can't blame it on one guy. It's the risk you take with suprise parties. Try explaining to the venue and see if they will cut you some slack.
    Originally posted by ShakeyStacey
    Yes. Surprise parties are a nightmare!
  • Marco12452
    Flights can be rearranged easily at far less cost than cancelling a venue and catering.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

2,324Posts Today

8,156Users online

Martin's Twitter