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  • MORPH3US
    • #2
    • 23rd Nov 10, 8:27 PM
    • #2
    • 23rd Nov 10, 8:27 PM
    The OP should be honest with the bloke and tell him that she doesn't think its going anywhere...

    If after that he still wants to take her out then go for it (maybe reminding him now and then that its not going to lead to anything)...
  • MORPH3US
    • #3
    • 23rd Nov 10, 8:27 PM
    • #3
    • 23rd Nov 10, 8:27 PM
    Double post.
    Last edited by MORPH3US; 24-11-2010 at 12:08 PM.
    • adamwantsadb9
    • By adamwantsadb9 23rd Nov 10, 10:39 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 43 Thanks
    adamwantsadb9
    • #4
    • 23rd Nov 10, 10:39 PM
    • #4
    • 23rd Nov 10, 10:39 PM
    omg no! u tell him immediately how u really feel.
    the poor bloke probably thinks he has finally found a nice girl to settle down with when really hes just with a user
    as a lad who has been repeatedly let down by women of this nature i can say it hurts tremendously to have this done to you.
    anyone who does this should be prosecuted for obtaining by deception, you are no better than the banks and ppi companies, praying upon the weak.
    • emidee
    • By emidee 23rd Nov 10, 10:47 PM
    • 71 Posts
    • 133 Thanks
    emidee
    • #5
    • 23rd Nov 10, 10:47 PM
    Be Honest...
    • #5
    • 23rd Nov 10, 10:47 PM
    Be honest with him - you'd hate it if it were the other way around, & the longer it goes on, the worse it's going to be for him when you do break up.
    Last edited by emidee; 23-11-2010 at 10:53 PM.
    • skybluearmyontour
    • By skybluearmyontour 23rd Nov 10, 10:53 PM
    • 221 Posts
    • 279 Thanks
    skybluearmyontour
    • #6
    • 23rd Nov 10, 10:53 PM
    • #6
    • 23rd Nov 10, 10:53 PM
    Hmm...I think women should pay their own way on dates too, especially if you've only just met. To me it sends out the wrong signal if the man pays all the time.... But hey...I'm single so I could be wrong
  • FelinePrincess
    • #7
    • 23rd Nov 10, 10:56 PM
    • #7
    • 23rd Nov 10, 10:56 PM
    No - you definitely shouldn't keep dating for freebies, it's very unfair on the man in question.
    • irishwench69
    • By irishwench69 23rd Nov 10, 10:56 PM
    • 794 Posts
    • 5,634 Thanks
    irishwench69
    • #8
    • 23rd Nov 10, 10:56 PM
    • #8
    • 23rd Nov 10, 10:56 PM
    Should I keep dating for freebies?

    I've been going on a few dates with this guy who's really sweet but I don't think it's going anywhere.


    He's however very keen and I don't want to be mean and end it for no reason. Plus he always takes me to posh restaurants that I normally wouldn't even dream of going to, and I'm enjoying that. Should I come clean or enjoy the freebies?
    Originally posted by MSE Penelope

    You wouldn't be ending for no reason though - it sounds like you're just not that into him!!

    At least be honest - you don't have to get married to them or anything, and feelings might develop, but if he's looking for something more serious, someone is going to get hurt!

    You must know in your heart what the right choice is here - how good would you feel to get freebies by manipulating someone?? (if you think he'd spend the money on you as friends, why not tell him - what do you have to lose?)

    .....and you'd surely hate it if the situation was reversed!!

    IW x
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 222
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    Remember the MoneySaving mantras!

    IF YOU'RE SKINT......
    Do I need it? Can I afford it? Can I find it cheaper anywhere else?

    IF YOU'RE NOT SKINT......
    Will I use it? Is it worth it? Can I find it cheaper anywhere else?
  • gcthompson
    • #9
    • 23rd Nov 10, 11:07 PM
    You're not serious are you?
    • #9
    • 23rd Nov 10, 11:07 PM
    If you're not interested in the guy then let him know.

    Seriously, are you really considering still going out with him because he takes you to nice restaurants? If you do you should be ashamed of yourself.
    • Loanranger
    • By Loanranger 23rd Nov 10, 11:16 PM
    • 2,138 Posts
    • 5,644 Thanks
    Loanranger
    Ever heard of the expression gold-digger?
    • shellsuit
    • By shellsuit 23rd Nov 10, 11:23 PM
    • 23,017 Posts
    • 41,912 Thanks
    shellsuit
    I'd never use someone in that way.

    If you don't like him, then why would you want him to spend his money on you?

    There is a name for women who date blokes for what they can gain...
    Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...
    • Loz66
    • By Loz66 23rd Nov 10, 11:24 PM
    • 7 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    Loz66
    If you are seeing him just for restaurant visits and prezzies, the why not go the whole hog and try out for escort work? Same principal.
    • serendipity2706
    • By serendipity2706 23rd Nov 10, 11:45 PM
    • 1,828 Posts
    • 2,842 Thanks
    serendipity2706
    No wonder a lot of men seem surprised when I offer to pay half on a first date!!
    You are using him- how would you feel if he just came round to you for no strings sex when he fancied it??

    • Talent
    • By Talent 23rd Nov 10, 11:49 PM
    • 244 Posts
    • 219 Thanks
    Talent
    Hmmm. Some prissy comments.... Who you gonna call? Datebusters Inc.... if he's pleasant enough then the occasional date is ok. You don't have to commit to anything and as long as you don't lead him on, what's the problem??
    • nat21luv
    • By nat21luv 24th Nov 10, 12:02 AM
    • 3,361 Posts
    • 27,370 Thanks
    nat21luv
    I dont see what the issue is, if he's a nice guy and your enjoying each others company I would keep seeing him, not in a sexual relationship mind, just keep it light hearted. Ive made many male friends this way but I would advise you to start paying at least half from now on though...Ive always paid for my meal and you should see the blokes face light up, they think their christmasses have come at once!
    12k in 2017 #36= 450 30k by Jan 2018= 15909 53.03% 80lbs (13.12.16)

    **MONEY MAKES ME HAPPY**
    • Digdug
    • By Digdug 24th Nov 10, 12:11 AM
    • 70 Posts
    • 126 Thanks
    Digdug
    If you don't think it's going anywhere, ending it isn't 'mean' and 'for no reason'. It's being kind and not stringing him along when you know deep down you're not interested. Of course dating just for the freebies is wrong - and it only takes a few women like this to give the rest of us a bad name!
    • Rainmaker_uk
    • By Rainmaker_uk 24th Nov 10, 12:14 AM
    • 514 Posts
    • 676 Thanks
    Rainmaker_uk
    Please give this MoneySaver the benefit of your advice...

    Should I keep dating for freebies?

    I've been going on a few dates with this guy who's really sweet but I don't think it's going anywhere. He's however very keen and I don't want to be mean and end it for no reason. Plus he always takes me to posh restaurants that I normally wouldn't even dream of going to, and I'm enjoying that. Should I come clean or enjoy the freebies?




    This Forum Tip was included in MoneySavingExpert's weekly email

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    Originally posted by MSE Penelope
    It depends if you are putting out...
    • Loz66
    • By Loz66 24th Nov 10, 12:39 AM
    • 7 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    Loz66
    I dont see what the issue is, if he's a nice guy and your enjoying each others company I would keep seeing him, not in a sexual relationship mind, just keep it light hearted. Ive made many male friends this way but I would advise you to start paying at least half from now on though...Ive always paid for my meal and you should see the blokes face light up, they think their christmasses have come at once!
    Originally posted by nat21luv
    nat21luv - paying half is a very different situation. The OP has stated that the man paying the whole bill is what attracts her. If she started paying half I'd say everything is fine and go for it. It's the leeching I object to.
    • oldtrout
    • By oldtrout 24th Nov 10, 4:03 AM
    • 129 Posts
    • 176 Thanks
    oldtrout
    You should be honest with him asap and tell him how you feel. He might not actually be so keen on you, just enjoys your company and is quite happy to pay for you to join him. Find out by asking him, not people on a forum.
  • pensionernige
    There is the money and the moral dilema.lYou have to be open and honest. Discuss the situation how you feel about him and regarding the various dates. If he is happy to continue then you have to decide if you are wasting your time when you could be finding the love of your life. Set parameters for "behaviour" as no doubt the wine will be flowing at times, and stick to them. This way both morals are covered.
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