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  • Evilm
    • #2
    • 9th Nov 10, 9:01 PM
    • #2
    • 9th Nov 10, 9:01 PM
    I would say paying half would be acceptable. I certainly wouldn't be annoyed if a single friend paid only half.
    • THRIFTY GIRL
    • By THRIFTY GIRL 9th Nov 10, 9:04 PM
    • 303 Posts
    • 688 Thanks
    THRIFTY GIRL
    • #3
    • 9th Nov 10, 9:04 PM
    Depends what value you will get back
    • #3
    • 9th Nov 10, 9:04 PM
    Is each person receiving a present or each couple?

    Assuming they are sharing one present between two, while you will get a present to yourself I think it's fair that you pay the same amount.
    MFiT - T2 # 64start date: 1.7.09 MFW end date: 31.10.17
    Start balance: 205,746.51 Month 18/100..paid 13.50%
    Current balance: 177,977.07 (updated 18.12.10)
    Target 12.12.12: From 194,000 to 140,000
    MFI-3 reductions: 16,023/54,000 achieved (29.67%)
  • bogwart
    • #4
    • 10th Nov 10, 12:12 AM
    • #4
    • 10th Nov 10, 12:12 AM
    You should pay up. Presumably each couple gets one present so you'll get a present for two.The extra 15 is hardly going to break the bank, I imagine.
    • gamboller
    • By gamboller 10th Nov 10, 12:58 AM
    • 189 Posts
    • 101 Thanks
    gamboller
    • #5
    • 10th Nov 10, 12:58 AM
    • #5
    • 10th Nov 10, 12:58 AM
    Its only 30 You'd feel like a right tightwad if you handed over 15
    • determined new ms
    • By determined new ms 10th Nov 10, 3:59 AM
    • 7,043 Posts
    • 41,568 Thanks
    determined new ms
    • #6
    • 10th Nov 10, 3:59 AM
    • #6
    • 10th Nov 10, 3:59 AM
    I disagree, if things were tight financially then I'd give 15
    DF as at 30/12/16
    Wombling 2017 3016.55/Roadkill 8.73
    Wombling 2018 145.73/RK 0.04
  • pensionernige
    • #7
    • 10th Nov 10, 4:49 AM
    • #7
    • 10th Nov 10, 4:49 AM
    The single should pay half as when it is time to receive then throught the year he will only get one present.
  • raisen
    • #8
    • 10th Nov 10, 7:13 AM
    • #8
    • 10th Nov 10, 7:13 AM
    Its only 30 You'd feel like a right tightwad if you handed over 15
    Originally posted by gamboller
    Only?! wow, you must be richer than me!!
    If you have some to spare....

    I'd like to just pay half but in reality you will be made to feel guilty unless you pay the full amount.
    • scoobydoobydoo
    • By scoobydoobydoo 10th Nov 10, 7:19 AM
    • 111 Posts
    • 262 Thanks
    scoobydoobydoo
    • #9
    • 10th Nov 10, 7:19 AM
    • #9
    • 10th Nov 10, 7:19 AM
    Just email back and ask!

    It does make me smile when I read some of these "Dilemmas" that could be easily solved with a wee bit of communication!

    "Hi guys! Do you mean 15 per person? Cheers from X"

    Simples!
    • ayayay
    • By ayayay 10th Nov 10, 7:40 AM
    • 93 Posts
    • 71 Thanks
    ayayay
    Of course you should pay 15 since you will only receive one present - they will get two. (Whoever heard of a joint birthday present for couples with birthdays at different times)
    • avgjoe
    • By avgjoe 10th Nov 10, 8:05 AM
    • 33 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    avgjoe
    People forget the option of not paying anything because yu are not a couple :P

    But I'd say whether its 15 or 150 it is the principle, not the amount that matters. And if 1 person will be buying all presents from the big fund or not as well as if it is 1 present per person or couple.
  • Gareth_Lazelle
    My wife has a similar work-related problem,

    At her workplace staff buy cakes for other staff members on their birthdays - all very well,

    My wife is a coeliac (can't eat gluten) though, so she can't eat anyone else's cakes - should she still be expected to buy everyone else cakes on her birthday? (She simply doesn't participate at all for what it's worth - but the problem also arises at the Xmas party, etc)

    Going back to the OT: Personally I think anyone that wants to should opt out with no pressure (whether they be single or a couple), but providing they get back what they put in and are happy to participate then maybe they should simply take it or leave it?
    - GL
    • TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain
    • By TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain 10th Nov 10, 8:18 AM
    • 843 Posts
    • 440 Thanks
    TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain
    Im in the "it's only 15 quid crowd". As if the couples will get joint pressies (daft idea if they are).

    When this circle if friends go out do you split the bill or work out that you had come and didn't share the bottles of wine and knock a quid off your share because you had a soup for starter and not the expensive pate?!

    Over the term of a friendship life just evens itself out unless your friends are deviously doing this on purpose!
    • TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain
    • By TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain 10th Nov 10, 8:29 AM
    • 843 Posts
    • 440 Thanks
    TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain

    My wife is a coeliac (can't eat gluten) though, so she can't eat anyone else's cakes - should she still be expected to buy everyone else cakes on her birthday? (She simply doesn't participate at all for what it's worth - but the problem also arises at the Xmas party, etc)
    Originally posted by Gareth_Lazelle
    I know it's OT, but if she hasn't already, it's your wifes responsibility to make sure everyone knows the issue and and advises an alternative "treat" so they can cater for her (if she has and they don't then it doesn't sound like she has very friendly colleagues.)

    If she hasn't had that conversation a couple of times (birthdays aren't every week and not unreasonable for people to forget) and just refuses to join in then would say she's alienating herself.
  • Gareth_Lazelle
    I know it's OT, but if she hasn't already, it's your wifes responsibility to make sure everyone knows the issue and and advises an alternative "treat" so they can cater for her (if she has and they don't then it doesn't sound like she has very friendly colleagues.)
    Originally posted by TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain
    Oh they know about it - but trust me, buying gluten free isn't cheap, and it isn't easy (labelling isn't as clear as it could be, and you need to know what ingredients to look for as there are a few different ones, some of which hide in plain sight - like the difference between spirit and malt vinegar (so often just labelled "vinegar")),

    She thinks it's unreasonable to require everyone spend time and extra money catering for just her fairly complex requirements (especially when everyone else makes do with a cheap and easy box of mixed cakes). The Xmas party is more of an issue because so few restaurants will cater for food allergies, etc (and a mistake knocks her down for a week).

    Anyway - more OT than I meant to get... Sorry,
    - GL
    • roses
    • By roses 10th Nov 10, 8:43 AM
    • 2,288 Posts
    • 1,170 Thanks
    roses
    Both parts of the couple are not the friend. If a couple has to pay 30 and you pay 15 but one half of the couple says "I've only met the guy once", then why should they pay a couple fee of 30 instead of 15?
  • hbk619
    When this circle if friends go out do you split the bill or work out that you had come and didn't share the bottles of wine and knock a quid off your share because you had a soup for starter and not the expensive pate?!
    Originally posted by TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain
    I do, why should I have to pay more because my mate wants the 15 main and I got the 6 main?

    Atm I'm thinking 30 on a birthday????? It's just a birthday! The single should pay 15. Why should they be more out of pocket because they haven't got an other half?
    • stmartinsdiver
    • By stmartinsdiver 10th Nov 10, 9:25 AM
    • 112 Posts
    • 115 Thanks
    stmartinsdiver
    I agree with the suggestion of asking if they meant 15 p.p. It seems to me that too many people are to prepared to accept something they are not happy with and don't say anything for fear of being seen as mean. Bearing in mind that everyone that subscribes to this website to see where and how they can save money - sometimes only very small amounts - then why criticise someone who feels they are paying 15 more than their fair share?
  • MattLG
    The answer is in the email. "per" means divided by, "couple" means 2. 30/2 = 15.

    If the person who wrote the email doesn't like that, they should've written the email differently :-)

    MattLG
  • borokat
    Looking at it another way, if there are 4 couples and 1 single, 4x30 = 120. So the single will get a gift worth 120. If the single only pays 15, each couple would get 3x30 + 15 = 105.
    If they are all going to pay 30 towards his present, he should do the same.
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