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    Former MSE Lee
    0 WOW
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I lose my holiday deposits?
    • #1
    • 28th Oct 10, 1:41 PM
    0 WOW
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I lose my holiday deposits? 28th Oct 10 at 1:41 PM
    Please give this MoneySaver the benefit of your advice...

    Should I lose my holiday deposits?

    After 2 lovely holidays in Turkey with a friend in 2009, she pleaded with me to book 2 more for the following year in, saying we've been friends 22 years, and even if she met someone she'd still go with me. I went ahead and booked 2 holidays, paying all deposits as she had no money at the time. You guessed it. She met someone and when the balance of the first holiday was due, cancelled and then cancelled the 2nd holiday. I couldn't find anyone to go with me on either holiday. Should I lose my deposits, as it was not my fault that she cancelled?

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    Last edited by Former MSE Lee; 02-11-2010 at 5:10 PM.
Page 1
    • higginsb
    • By higginsb 2nd Nov 10, 10:46 PM
    • 20 Posts
    • 69 Thanks
    • #2
    • 2nd Nov 10, 10:46 PM
    • #2
    • 2nd Nov 10, 10:46 PM
    If your friend asked you to book the holidays without being able to pay her deposits, allowed you to lay out for them, then cancelled even though she assured you that she wouldn't, she should be thoroughly ashamed of herself. This is appalling behaviour, especially from someone whose friendship you have valued for so long. She should reimburse you in full for everything you have paid out for these holidays, and you should think very carefully before you agree to do anything with her again.
    • tabaira
    • By tabaira 2nd Nov 10, 10:48 PM
    • 23 Posts
    • 15 Thanks
    • #3
    • 2nd Nov 10, 10:48 PM
    • #3
    • 2nd Nov 10, 10:48 PM
    Your friend should make sure you do not loose out financially - and she should be prepared to pay you back for the loss of her company on the holiday aswell. Pity you didn't book a cruise as I'd like someone to share the cabin with!!
    • scotsbob
    • By scotsbob 2nd Nov 10, 10:51 PM
    • 4,462 Posts
    • 6,958 Thanks
    • #4
    • 2nd Nov 10, 10:51 PM
    • #4
    • 2nd Nov 10, 10:51 PM
    You shouldn't, but your going to!

    From now on you should certainly refer to her as your ex frend. Sounds like the kind of person you're better off without.
  • bernie115
    • #5
    • 2nd Nov 10, 10:58 PM
    • #5
    • 2nd Nov 10, 10:58 PM
    Your friend should definitely reimburse you for the monies you have laid out. If she is a true friend she won't think twice about doing this.
  • bogwart
    • #6
    • 2nd Nov 10, 11:33 PM
    • #6
    • 2nd Nov 10, 11:33 PM
    Obviously the best solution would be to find someone to replace her. But for want of that she definitely has a moral duty to repay to you her part of the costs. I'm afraid you'll have to bear the cost of your own. It's an expensive lesson but one worth learning.
    • iclayt
    • By iclayt 2nd Nov 10, 11:37 PM
    • 420 Posts
    • 823 Thanks
    • #7
    • 2nd Nov 10, 11:37 PM
    • #7
    • 2nd Nov 10, 11:37 PM
    She should pay you for her half of the deposits - if you paid them for her in the first place she should have been preparing to repay you those anyway. Personally I would want her to pay me back for every penny I'd lost, but if you've been friends so long perhaps going 50/50 would be best to save any last arguments.

    It never fails to amaze me how friends who play the 'we've been friends forever!' card conveniently forget this when someone/something better comes along. If you really are such good friends she should've offered to repay you straight away without you ever needing to ask. Point this out to her.
  • yorkshirepud
    • #8
    • 3rd Nov 10, 12:54 AM
    • #8
    • 3rd Nov 10, 12:54 AM
    She should at the very least pay her half, she is bang out of order.

    A new bloke cannot replace a friendship that old or a promise made to a friend. How rude.

    I echo the previous poster in saying she should have been preparing to pay you the deposits back anyway.

  • pretzelnut
    • #9
    • 3rd Nov 10, 1:40 AM
    • #9
    • 3rd Nov 10, 1:40 AM
    She should pay you back, theres no way you should be out of pocket.

    Not only should she cover her deposit loss but yours as well, as you cannot go because of this.

    She needs teaching a lesson.

    No doubt when this relationship goes belly up, that you'll be the 1st person she comes running to, you need to tell her thats she's paying so that she doesnt think your a push over.

    Some people just take, take, take and never think how thier actions have serious consequences on others.

    If I was the ''friend'' and i found myself in a situation where for whatever reason I couldnt go I would never leave the other person outta pocket. I would immediately pay up, and apologise profuslely, but im not the kind of person who would do that to someone else.

    I know you dont want to go on your own, but sometimes, you can speak to the travel agents, explaining the situation, and they ''might'' rebook, you'll loose some money but not all of it. And of course the price could go up. Loads of people go on their own these days. You wouldnt be the only one.
    Is thankful to those who have shared their
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    than themselves - you know who you are!
    • jenniewb
    • By jenniewb 3rd Nov 10, 2:37 AM
    • 12,553 Posts
    • 11,735 Thanks
    NO! She broke her word- she let you down, she needs to pay up. Either she is too besotted to see the damage she has caused (just financially at the moment) or she is utterly stupid and needs the thing spelt out to her. You need to go for a coffee, (her expense I think!) have time to explain the ins and outs and financial side of breaking the contract but not before reminding her of the promises she made to you which have now been broken.

    22 Years of friendship have got to count for something and if they don't, you gotta wonder how long her current relationship will last and who she will now run to when it all ends in tears. Maybe its in her best interest to explain the reason she needs to pay the deposit for you or find an alternative solution.
  • ailuro2
    Steal her new bloke, take him on holiday with you, the name change should cost less than the lost deposit??

    Have a read through your paperwork, find out what date you can cancel up to and ONLY lose your deposit. She might break up with the new man and change her mind about going, so I'd not rush into anything.
    Ask her for the deposit, see if you can get vouchers or something with the travel agent towards the cost of a singles holiday for yourself.
    Member of the first Mortgage Free in 3 challenge, no.19
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  • SimonSimpleOne
    You could always issue a County Court Claim form for the return of your monies. You will not require a Solicitor to do this (unless you want one to act for you, in which case, find one that specialises in County Court debt recovery) but check their fees first, as if defended the legal fees could be high!
    Issue of a Claim Form can be done on-line, or you can pop down the local County Court. Assuming no defence is filed, you may apply for a Judgment, and then take enforcement action. Depending on the value of the debt, a Judgment may be registered automatically, which could affect the friends future credit rating.
    Or, go to a specialist solicitor, and ask them to send a Letter requesting payment. Many will only charge a "commission" if payment is made. Often a letter will have the desired affect, if it doesn't, you can then issue a Claim Form yourself, to keep the cost to a minimum!
    Always ask a solicitor to send written details of their costs for dealing with a defended debt matter before instructing them, otherwise you may require treatment for shock!
    • sk240
    • By sk240 3rd Nov 10, 8:12 AM
    • 454 Posts
    • 223 Thanks
    Unfortunatly this thing does seem to happen to people quite often, over the years I myself have loaned money to people (including family members) to be let down or give short notice etc.
    Now due to these occurnces i will no longer arrange things or loan money to people after being let down time and time again.
    • Ebenezer_Screwj
    • By Ebenezer_Screwj 3rd Nov 10, 8:26 AM
    • 420 Posts
    • 229 Thanks
    You have answered this one yourself, you paid the deposits because your friend had no money therefore you lose the deposits now that the arrangements have fallen through. Likewise, only you can answer the question : "Why on earth did you pay her deposits in the first place ?"
    • BNT
    • By BNT 3rd Nov 10, 8:27 AM
    • 2,679 Posts
    • 4,203 Thanks
    Morally, there should be no lost deposit. Your friend made a commitment to go on holiday with you. The fact that she has another friend sounds like a flimsy excuse not to honor an existing commitment. Even if she is only able to cope with one friend at a time she has a moral obligation to ensure that her failure to honor her commitment does not leave you out of pocket.
  • housesitter
    Friendships and money lending dont mix well.

    Had a year to collect the cash. Possibly a cooling off period too?
    I wouldn't know for sure, I never leave a despoit for anything by choice.
    Why would you? - be in control of your money.

    You'll lose it. It's your fault not the company's.
    Time for some new friends or an expensive lesson.
    Last edited by housesitter; 03-11-2010 at 9:17 AM.
  • fromexperience
    Yes - let that be a lesson to you - never trust anyone in that kind of situation.
  • Tabitha
    Moneysaving Forum Newbie
    Maybe she never had the money in the first place hence why you paid? The new friend might be an excuse as she still may not have the money. If you have been good friends for 22 years then I am sure the new friend would have understood that your friend was committed to the holidays. Yes of course she should pay you back so you are not out of pocket.

    As suggested before look at the terms of your booking for return of deposit as you may get a percentage back, try your credit card company if you paid the deposit with one and look at your insurance.

    If this is the first time she has really let you downin 22 years then maybe you can forgive but not forget.
  • MattLG
    I don't have any friends who would do this to me. At least, not any more.

    I think you've learned a valuable (although expensive) lesson, that even after 22 years, she is not your friend. Life is full of lessons like this trying to teach you how to choose your friends.

    If you let them get away with it, they'll just do it again. Get your money back or ditch her, or both.

  • taxing
    Refundable Deposit???

    While I agree your friend's behaviour was wrong - I do wonder as to how you lost both deposits.

    Most hols I have booked allow for a refund of the deposit up until pretty close (if not after) the date when the balance becomes due for payment: no doubt to 'recognise' that plans do change and booking far in advance would be very 'risky' if there was no such opportunity for a refund; and probably because more people would then think twice about booking in advance - which would be a serious dis-advantage for holiday companies who need the 'security' of those advance bookings.

    So, short question is, was it not apparent at near to that 'refund of deposit' deadline - that it was unlikely your friend would be going? Her inability to come up with the balance due might have been a good indicator?

    Certainly if she baled out of the first holiday, too late for you to do something about reclaiming that deposit, then why didn't you simply cut your losses and cancel (and get a deposit refund) for the second?

    Her letting you down is bad , but I do think that maybe you could have 'cut your losses' here.

    Lesson learned in any event.

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