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  • FIRST POST
    • MSE Archna
    • By MSE Archna 31st Aug 10, 1:18 AM
    • 1,874Posts
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    MSE Archna
    Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge?
    • #1
    • 31st Aug 10, 1:18 AM
    Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge? 31st Aug 10 at 1:18 AM
    This is a real life MMD so please bear in mind the MoneySaver in question will read your responses:

    Please give this MoneySaver the benefit of your advice...

    How much board should I charge?

    My partner’s daughter is 18 and has just started a full time job. She was at uni part-time before that and my partner gave her £30 per week, plus paid for expenses such as mobile, clothes and gym. She’s now earning over £200 a week and we’ve asked her to pay £30 a week towards board, so she can learn the value of money. She thinks it isn’t fair and says she’ll only pay £20. Should we make her pay up?

    Click reply to have your say

    Previous MMDs: View All
    Last edited by Former MSE Lee; 31-08-2010 at 6:04 PM.
    Report inappropriate posts: forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com




Page 1
  • iceshimmerfairy
    • #2
    • 31st Aug 10, 8:47 PM
    • #2
    • 31st Aug 10, 8:47 PM
    "quote" MSE Archna
    My partner’s daughter is 18 and has just started a full time job. She was at uni part-time before that and my partner gave her £30 per week, plus paid for expenses such as mobile, clothes and gym. She’s now earning over £200 a week and we’ve asked her to pay £30 a week towards board, so she can learn the value of money. She thinks it isn’t fair and says she’ll only pay £20. Should we make her pay up?

    Hello MSE Archna
    In my opinion your partner's daughter should be paying more than £20 per week, if she is working full time then she is responsible to pay board, if she had to live away she would have to pay an awful lot more than that per week.
    I would insist she pays the £30 pw you are asking for or tries to find somewhere else as cheap as that and stick to your descision.
    I personally feel that young adults have it far too easy now, when i left school i earnt a measly £25 per week, i had to give my mother £15 pw, it certainly taught me the value of money.

    Good luck
    I believe life is to be lived, not worked, enjoyed, not agonized, loved, not hated.....
    • McKneff
    • By McKneff 31st Aug 10, 9:07 PM
    • 36,237 Posts
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    McKneff
    • #3
    • 31st Aug 10, 9:07 PM
    • #3
    • 31st Aug 10, 9:07 PM
    £30 a week and she is moaning, so it leaves her £170 a week to herself.

    Tell her to pay up or ship out. She should be paying at least £60 a week.

    Dont let her get away with it,

    If you must write everything down and split the gas, elec, water, rent, food, etc etc, etc, present it to her
    and tell her she must pay her way or find somewhee else to live.

    Follow through though or you will regret it.
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
    • karenccs67
    • By karenccs67 31st Aug 10, 9:35 PM
    • 1,025 Posts
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    karenccs67
    • #4
    • 31st Aug 10, 9:35 PM
    • #4
    • 31st Aug 10, 9:35 PM
    I think at least £50 a week. My daughter leaves college next year and we have already had this conversation and she understands that as a working adult she need to contribute to the household. If she thinks she can get it all for less elsewhere, let her try.
    ***Dont save what is left after spending, spend what is left after saving***
    • dronid
    • By dronid 31st Aug 10, 9:38 PM
    • 581 Posts
    • 1,258 Thanks
    dronid
    • #5
    • 31st Aug 10, 9:38 PM
    • #5
    • 31st Aug 10, 9:38 PM
    £30 a week! Gosh, that's good. Lucky girl! Up here in London a room in a house is £80 a week minimum. And how much does she pay seperately for heating, water, light, internet, food, domestic phone, TV license, Council Tax and insurance? She is getting a good deal. Has she considered looking for an alternative place? If she needs to learn, she needs to learn. She will not be able to negotiate a reduction of a third of her costs in the future and has she said why £30 a week will leave her short?

    Sorry if that seems harsh but it really isn't!

    I could make it better myself at home. All I need is a small aubergine...

    Current debt £7000 - loan. And a £4000 pound overdraft. That didn't work, did it?
    • Techno
    • By Techno 31st Aug 10, 10:17 PM
    • 1,081 Posts
    • 691 Thanks
    Techno
    • #6
    • 31st Aug 10, 10:17 PM
    • #6
    • 31st Aug 10, 10:17 PM
    I agree with Mckneff and dronid - work out what your costs are to run the household and divide by the number of adults - that's a fair contribution - I would think she'll be quite shocked by how much it actually costs to run a house . Otherwise a minimum of 1/3 of take home pay (you can always do what a friends mum did for her as a suprise - save any amount over the £30 or all of her contribution if you are feeling generous and give it to your partner's daughter when she leaves home as a deposit for a flat/house etc)
    If you think you are too small to make a difference, try getting in bed with a mosquito!
    • zipman23
    • By zipman23 31st Aug 10, 10:20 PM
    • 289 Posts
    • 68 Thanks
    zipman23
    • #7
    • 31st Aug 10, 10:20 PM
    • #7
    • 31st Aug 10, 10:20 PM
    £30 is peanuts for someone earning £200 a week. My parents and I always agreed that when I was earning a living from a full time job I would pay £120/month board! If she can find the same things for less, kick her out
    English by birth. GEORDIE by the grace of God.
  • Reluctant_spender
    • #8
    • 31st Aug 10, 10:38 PM
    • #8
    • 31st Aug 10, 10:38 PM
    Are there tax implications? What's the max that can be charged prior to it becoming an issue?
    • Techno
    • By Techno 31st Aug 10, 11:03 PM
    • 1,081 Posts
    • 691 Thanks
    Techno
    • #9
    • 31st Aug 10, 11:03 PM
    • #9
    • 31st Aug 10, 11:03 PM
    Isn't it the same as the rentaroom scheme so about £5k (ish)
    If you think you are too small to make a difference, try getting in bed with a mosquito!
    • RuthnJasper
    • By RuthnJasper 31st Aug 10, 11:27 PM
    • 3,615 Posts
    • 8,638 Thanks
    RuthnJasper
    £30 a week and she is moaning, so it leaves her £170 a week to herself.

    Tell her to pay up or ship out. She should be paying at least £60 a week.

    Dont let her get away with it,

    If you must write everything down and split the gas, elec, water, rent, food, etc etc, etc, present it to her
    and tell her she must pay her way or find somewhee else to live.

    Follow through though or you will regret it.
    Originally posted by McKneff
    Thanks for the calculations McKneff! £170 per week to herself?! That's what I have a MONTH, once all bills are paid!

    Seriously though - I'm in my early thirties and lived with my parents until around 18 months ago (when my name finally came up on the Housing Association/Council's list). I appreciate what a relative luxury this was and will ALWAYS be grateful to my parents. However, part of me wishes my parents had been firmer with me, and forced me to grow up sooner. Due to my own complacency and lack of a grasp on reality, I now have an IVA and live in comparative hardship.

    In addition, I remember a former colleague (a successful, independent, wealthy woman) telling me that her mother had kicked her out when she was 16. When I expressed horror, she said "No - it was the best thing that could have happened to me."

    If I were the OP, I would cut the daughter some slack until she is 21. She's still likely to be relatively immature. However, I WOULD expect more than £30 per week.

    I paid my parents £40 - BUT - I did ALL my own food shopping, plus all my own laundry (paying for washing powder, etc.), as well as 'phone calls, contribution to TV licence and utilities, etc.

    At the end of the day, only the OP can judge. If the daughter is conscientious then I'd be more prepared to be lenient. HOWEVER, in THIS case, she sounds like she's more concerned with luxuries and a social life.

    I'd advise sitting down together, without tempers flaring if possible, and work out how much everything costs. Agree on a FAIR contribution and get all parties to agree to a plan (and everyone sign it if possible). Don't pre-judge the daughter - she may have no conception of what Council Tax, utility bills, etc., actually cost.

    But - above all - let her know that, whatever happens, she is still loved. On leaving home, my relationship with my father drastically improved - but my mother left me with the impression that I was nothing but an irritant and a disappointment, and I struggle daily to deal with that.

    Basically - the key to it all is open-ness and honesty. £30 is not generally an amount I'd consider reasonable - but each case is different. Ultimately, only you can decide. But it should be a FAMILY decision, not one against "the others". If the daughter cannot agree to a reasonable way forward, such as this, then perhaps a month's notice to leave may be the best option all 'round.

    Good luck. xx
    Last edited by RuthnJasper; 31-08-2010 at 11:29 PM.
    • McKneff
    • By McKneff 31st Aug 10, 11:41 PM
    • 36,237 Posts
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    McKneff
    £30 is peanuts for someone earning £200 a week. My parents and I always agreed that when I was earning a living from a full time job I would pay £120/month board! If she can find the same things for less, kick her out
    Originally posted by zipman23
    Love your avatar, I was born and bred Geordie, still am.
    Walker, next door to Wallsend.

    And you..........?
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
    • Ames
    • By Ames 1st Sep 10, 12:06 AM
    • 17,696 Posts
    • 31,277 Thanks
    Ames
    I think I paid about a third, so she should be looking at around £66 a week. I'd also ask for £30 a week till she's repaid what you gave her when she was at uni.

    If she pays £20 that's less than repaying what she got while she was at uni! I think she's having a laugh.

    If she wont pay up, then say that £20 just covers the room. So take out anything electrical, even the lightbulb, don't buy her food, don't let her use the washing machine or phone...

    I know that sounds really, really mean, but I got into loads of debt when I left home. My sister's finished uni owing dad and me thousands. I really, truly believe that it's in her best interests to be introduced to the real world in a 'safe' way while she's at home, than suddenly be faced with a huge drop in disposable income and a rise in bills without learning money management.
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
  • jany
    When I was living at home and earning the rule was one third of my wages for saving one third for spending and one third for keep or towards household expenditure whatever you term it. I stuck to the same example with my son who has just left home at 21 and he understands what things cost, that nothing comes easy and he has several thousand pounds in the bank towards his house deposit. Please stop supposedly letting your kids off lightly and teach them how to live within their means.
    • reluctantworkingmum
    • By reluctantworkingmum 1st Sep 10, 12:18 AM
    • 126 Posts
    • 115 Thanks
    reluctantworkingmum
    £30.....out of £200.. (Screeeeech!!!) Trust me you will be doing her no favours at all if you let her get away with that. I agree with Jany - One third contribution, one third saving. If she doesnt need (operative word - NEED) to learn how to budget before she is an adult (21) you will be supporting her and her debts all your life........ and when she has run through your remaining assets when you are dead ...who will bail her out then!
    Having said that - be fair to the girl - if she can find somewhere else she would like to live for £20 a week - dont hold her back!
    • zipman23
    • By zipman23 1st Sep 10, 12:19 AM
    • 289 Posts
    • 68 Thanks
    zipman23
    Love your avatar, I was born and bred Geordie, still am.
    Walker, next door to Wallsend.

    And you..........?
    Originally posted by McKneff

    Depending on who you ask, I'm not technically a Geordie because I've never lived North of the Tyne....but it won't stop me calling myself one! I support Newcastle so that's good enough in my book Born in Gateshead, still live there now apart from a stint in South Africa!
    English by birth. GEORDIE by the grace of God.
    • Tulgey Wood
    • By Tulgey Wood 1st Sep 10, 12:30 AM
    • 32 Posts
    • 52 Thanks
    Tulgey Wood
    She's going to get a nasty shock when (if) she moves into the real world someday and has to pay for things herself!
    If she thinks £30 a week is too much out of her £200, why not suggest you forget about this whole "board" thing, and just split all the household bills like adults: food, electricity, gas, council tax, water rates.....work them out and show her how much her adult share of the household expenditure would be; £30 might not seem quite so "unfair" to her then.

    Proper Geordie
    Last edited by Tulgey Wood; 01-09-2010 at 12:32 AM. Reason: read the post before!
    • scotsbob
    • By scotsbob 1st Sep 10, 1:11 AM
    • 4,462 Posts
    • 6,958 Thanks
    scotsbob
    The discussion here is all about a difference of £10

    It's family, why argue over a tenner?

    One day parents may have to go into care, I hope the daughter remembers their stinginess when that time comes.
    • HappyMJ
    • By HappyMJ 1st Sep 10, 1:36 AM
    • 20,595 Posts
    • 17,201 Thanks
    HappyMJ
    It's not a tenner it's the principle of it. If she were to leave home she'd be paying much more than £30 and have much less than £170 a week to spend on...well...pretty much anything. It's much more than most people in the real world have after paying the rent and the bills. It's all about encouraging them to leave home and get a home of their own. At £30 a week I'd stay there as long as possible. I'd be saying 1/3rd as well as other posters have said (but...I would save most of it and give it back if required..and proven to me that it would be spent on something such as a deposit on a rental or a deposit on a home)
    • ANGLICANPAT
    • By ANGLICANPAT 1st Sep 10, 2:05 AM
    • 1,164 Posts
    • 393 Thanks
    ANGLICANPAT
    Let her look! If she finds a place for the £20 a week she thinks is fair, you and OH go and and grab rooms there and rent your own place out for a few months and make a few bob lol!
    Last edited by ANGLICANPAT; 01-09-2010 at 2:07 AM.
    • gizzie121
    • By gizzie121 1st Sep 10, 3:45 AM
    • 79 Posts
    • 215 Thanks
    gizzie121
    Let her look! If she finds a place for the £20 a week she thinks is fair, you and OH go and and grab rooms there and rent your own place out for a few months and make a few bob lol!
    Originally posted by ANGLICANPAT
    That's a good answer!! I'll remember that when my kids grow up and get a job!! My brother used to pay £25 a week and that was 20 years ago. My husband used to pay much more at that time.

    My sister's children pay £50 a week and they know they're on a good thing and show no moves to leave the parental home. The eldest is 27 now.
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