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  • FIRST POST
    • MSE Archna
    • By MSE Archna 27th Jan 09, 12:20 PM
    • 1,874Posts
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    MSE Archna
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you pay for no-show?
    • #1
    • 27th Jan 09, 12:20 PM
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you pay for no-show? 27th Jan 09 at 12:20 PM
    Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

    Would you pay for no-show?


    Your friends are celebrating their wedding anniversary and have invited you and 17 others to a posh restaurant for a set £40 a head dinner. Six people fail to show up. You’re leaving early and go to pay your bit of the bill, and find it's now £57 a head – as the restaurant is charging for all 20 people who should’ve come, (its pre-stated policy). You know your friends couldn’t afford to foot the bill for all six, do you pay up £57 or just £40 – and leave it to be sorted by the rest.

    Click reply to have your say

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    Last edited by Former MSE Rose; 27-01-2009 at 8:14 PM.
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Page 1
    • Pound
    • By Pound 27th Jan 09, 10:57 PM
    • 2,662 Posts
    • 1,323 Thanks
    Pound
    • #2
    • 27th Jan 09, 10:57 PM
    • #2
    • 27th Jan 09, 10:57 PM
    Six people fail to show up.
    Originally posted by MSE Archna
    No. Those six people should still be paying the 40 each otherwise they're not very good friends. It's usually best to collect the money beforehand to avoid disputes like this.

  • groovibri
    • #3
    • 28th Jan 09, 2:24 AM
    • #3
    • 28th Jan 09, 2:24 AM
    No, you are not responsible for no shows, you are only responsible for paying your
    own usage. It is unfortunate that the hosts will have to resolve the matter them selves.
    • Ebenezer_Screwj
    • By Ebenezer_Screwj 28th Jan 09, 6:33 AM
    • 420 Posts
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    Ebenezer_Screwj
    • #4
    • 28th Jan 09, 6:33 AM
    • #4
    • 28th Jan 09, 6:33 AM
    It is not an ideal way to celebrate a wedding anniversary by making "guests" pay for their invitation but to accept then not show up is reprehensible. It would be the hosts' responsibility to make good the shortfall and collect from the missing people later.
    • Sunny Saver
    • By Sunny Saver 28th Jan 09, 7:15 AM
    • 2,889 Posts
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    Sunny Saver
    • #5
    • 28th Jan 09, 7:15 AM
    • #5
    • 28th Jan 09, 7:15 AM
    I agree, it's for the hosts to collect the owed money, not for guests to have to cough up for those who didn't show.

    The hosts should have made it clear to everyone that it's 40 per head and if anyone doesn't show after booking they still have to pay.

    Having said that, if the hosts invited us, shouldn't they be paying?
  • hellyboo
    • #6
    • 28th Jan 09, 7:18 AM
    • #6
    • 28th Jan 09, 7:18 AM
    I would give the host the heads up so they could let everyone else know the situation and contribute if possible. I would also ask the restaurant if there was any way they could soften the blow by giving for example a doggy bag for the food they were charging us for - it's worth asking!
    I agree it is the host's responsibility overall but I would definately contribute in this situation but make damn sure any future occasions were paid for in advance.
    • macaroni
    • By macaroni 28th Jan 09, 7:26 AM
    • 438 Posts
    • 271 Thanks
    macaroni
    • #7
    • 28th Jan 09, 7:26 AM
    • #7
    • 28th Jan 09, 7:26 AM
    Nope. I doubt I wouldve gone in the first place anyway having to pay to go to a party !
    The persons organising should have collected the monies on booking the places
  • BFG
    • #8
    • 28th Jan 09, 7:50 AM
    • #8
    • 28th Jan 09, 7:50 AM
    Had this happen to me [as organiser of a team night out] wrt taxi/minibus hire....only ONCE though!! lol

    What I did from that night on was get a NON-REFUNDABLE deposit from everyone who said they were going out.

    One little tweak was that I always made the deposit deliberately more than their share of the bus hire, that way if they didn't go not only was there no shortfall in paying for the minibus, but we actually had money left over to go in a kitty for all those who did turn up....lol
  • Drama_Queen
    • #9
    • 28th Jan 09, 8:22 AM
    • #9
    • 28th Jan 09, 8:22 AM
    Yes, if they were good friends I would.
  • harryferguson
    You don't pay to go to a party where someone is celebrating something in their life! Would you pay to go to a wedding or funeral? I don't think so.
  • djwhite01
    Its a No-brainer
    Of course I would pay the additional 17 - these people are friends! What sort of friend would I be if I left them to sort it out for me?
    I would however seriously consider my views on the missing guests especially if, after understanding the result of their non attendance, did not offer to pay up.
    • tara747
    • By tara747 28th Jan 09, 8:41 AM
    • 10,219 Posts
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    tara747
    You don't pay to go to a party where someone is celebrating something in their life! Would you pay to go to a wedding or funeral? I don't think so.
    Originally posted by harryferguson
    Are you kidding? Weddings cost a fortune to attend these days!!!!!!!!
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  • igpjap
    Would you pay for no show
    Of course one would make up the difference. Can hardly be considered a friend if you didn't. I would certainly comment to those who did not attend assuming they did not have a real and valid excuse.

    Overcome the problem with money upfront, true friends would not be offended or concerned by such a request.
    • Bobl
    • By Bobl 28th Jan 09, 8:44 AM
    • 666 Posts
    • 878 Thanks
    Bobl
    Yes, I would pay the extra. It clearly says the hosts can't afford it. They are in a no win situation and I would value my friendship with them more than the extra money.

    Unfortunately there are plenty of people who don't care about others, I have organised work parties where it was clear that the bill would be shared, only to have arguments on the night with people who insisted on only paying for what they ate/drank. You soon learn not to invite those people again.
    • andy40
    • By andy40 28th Jan 09, 8:59 AM
    • 168 Posts
    • 185 Thanks
    andy40
    Yes, having organised it I would feel obligated to make up the extra.
    I have arrange a couple of birthday meals (for myself) in the past and when it comes to sorting out the bill (which is split) their is usually a shortfall and I have to make it up. I now only have arrange such meals for very small (4) groups of people.
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  • Susan Frost
    If I had been told (not read it in some small print) before hand that that was the arrangement, then, yes I would cough up.

    However I would not have agreed to go in the first place cos it was such a stupid way of arranging things. I would have suggested they got all the money in first. Maybe that is why the couple cannot afford much, they are obviously hopeless with money matters.

    If I did not know, and it was dropped on me, my thoughts are that I would not pay.

    But I had a similar thing years ago with a staff christmas meal, where people threw their money on the table and went off to the pub and there was a big shortfall when it was counted up - so I did in fact put in quite a bit extra cos the girl who arranged it would have had to make it up. They did agree to waive the service charge. The boss put in about 50 extra !!!

    It was the guys from one department who went off who were out of order. A deposit had been paid. A lot of bad feeling created, but they did not care. They just thought it funny.

    I've no problem with paying for something like a meal out, not everyone can afford to fund a party, and I would rather have the celebration. But if I arrange something, like my hen night, it would be something within everyone's means.
  • udlsechica
    This kind of thing drives me nuts - I would never hold a party and expect my friends to cough up money to pay for it. The host should always pay for the party. Maybe some of the friends didn't show because they didn't have the money for 40 GBP a head and felt bad about it. Especially for a couple, 80 GBP is a lot to pay for a night out! I'd prefer to give a gift to the hosts.

    The other thing is that where I grew up (mid-Atlantic in the US) we always pay for what we eat at restaurants. So when the bill comes, we pass it around and calculate what we each individually owe. I think that is the most fair way to pay for a bill.

    I'm not much of a drinker, so I inevitably end up subsidizing other people's drinks when I go out in the UK. It's incredibly frustrating because if my husband and I went out alone, eating out would be affordable. I know it is expected that people split the bill and pay for rounds here, but I just wish that others would consider that some people can't afford to subsidize their expensive habits.
    • LCFC_Foxile
    • By LCFC_Foxile 28th Jan 09, 9:24 AM
    • 95 Posts
    • 52 Thanks
    LCFC_Foxile
    If the six missing people had confirmed that they were going to turn up but then didn't...then they should be paying-up.

    Imagine if even more people didn't turn up - the average per head would be even higher!
    • ferf1223
    • By ferf1223 28th Jan 09, 9:26 AM
    • 8,919 Posts
    • 7,642 Thanks
    ferf1223
    I would pay the difference because I wouldn't want my friends to get stuck with paying it, but I agree that it's not the most ideal way to have organized the event. as far as the idea that hosts should always pay for their own guests, some people don't have the means to do so and if the guests accepted the invitations knowing that 40/head would be required then I don't see the problem.


    I'm not much of a drinker, so I inevitably end up subsidizing other people's drinks when I go out in the UK. It's incredibly frustrating because if my husband and I went out alone, eating out would be affordable. I know it is expected that people split the bill and pay for rounds here, but I just wish that others would consider that some people can't afford to subsidize their expensive habits.
    Originally posted by udlsechica
    hear, hear. I don't mind splitting a bill equally if there's not alcohol involved as the differences between what people order are usually minimal...but I don't drink much and never drink wine and neither does my husband...the times we've ended up paying vastly more than our share due to multiple bottles of wine being consumed by our fellow diners means we usually decline the invitation anymore...not once has anyone said 'oh, hey, you guys didn't have any wine so you should chip in less'...in a lot of cases the wine which we did not drink has effectively doubled our 'share' of the meal...and that's a bit ridiculous.
  • MORPH3US
    I would pay the extra to be fair to my friends and then go home and sulk about it....

    Oh and as someone above said above, I would argue the toss with the restaurant to waive the extras and if they insisted that we had to pay for the no-shows then i'd say I wanted all of the food served for the no shows we had to pay for.....

    Oh and all the people saying they'd never pay to go to someone's party.... glad you're not my friends.... :confused: (sorry but i'm speaking my mind)

    We are always out with friends celebrating special occasions. If its someone's birthday, they'll say "oh i'm going out for a meal at the weekend for my birthday, do you want to come"..... our friends would never expect us to pay for them and we would never expect them to pay for us.... If they / we did, we would never afford to go out, because 20 x 40 is 800.... as if anyone could afford to pay that out in one go.....
    Last edited by MORPH3US; 28-01-2009 at 9:32 AM.
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