Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • kittie
    • By kittie 1st Apr 08, 7:14 PM
    • 12,444Posts
    • 79,027Thanks
    kittie
    SKI-er, skater or just spending now to preserve any cash that you have
    • #1
    • 1st Apr 08, 7:14 PM
    SKI-er, skater or just spending now to preserve any cash that you have 1st Apr 08 at 7:14 PM
    3 years after my last edit in 2012 and circumstances changed drastically in february 2015 when my husband of 45 years died. Sorting and clearing is now pretty well done and I am well into the acceptance stage, part of which means that I have been able to move on and am now creating a life for myself.

    I have had a thrifty life and much of it was frugal, this enabled both of us to build up good savings and to have a decent income. When someone you love dies then it suddenly brings it home that life really is for living and if that involves spending money then so be it. Our children will still inherit if I stay well, so I have re-joined the skiers group with a vengeance. Posts will know continue as from today 16th october 2015
    Last edited by kittie; 16-10-2015 at 6:31 PM.
Page 10
  • Errata
    Super news - wishing you well.
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 23rd Oct 08, 6:38 PM
    • 32,460 Posts
    • 64,252 Thanks
    seven-day-weekend
    Great News Francophile - what a relief!!!

    Enjoy your break in France.
    Member #10 of 2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
  • balmaiden
    Brilliant news Francophile, what a relief for you and yours. Hope our MC and hers are o.k.
    Away with the fairies.... Back soon
    • donny-gal
    • By donny-gal 24th Oct 08, 5:03 AM
    • 4,598 Posts
    • 38,150 Thanks
    donny-gal
    Great News Francophile - could not have had better news to greet me this morning.

    Enjoy your time in France, we only have another 3.5 weeks then we will be driving through France to go back to the UK, struggling to know where to call home now, both seeming it
    DG.
    Last edited by donny-gal; 24-10-2008 at 5:08 AM.
    Member #8 of the SKI-ers Club
    Why is it I have less time now I am retired then when I worked?
    • Francophile
    • By Francophile 24th Oct 08, 8:55 AM
    • 745 Posts
    • 366 Thanks
    Francophile
    Thank you all. I feel like Christmas has come early!!!
    Member #7 SKI-ers Club
    Norn Ireland Club Member 215
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 24th Oct 08, 10:06 AM
    • 10,193 Posts
    • 17,258 Thanks
    margaretclare
    Great news, Francophile. Very relieved for you.

    Well, DH is progressing bit by bit. Is only able to walk a couple of steps so far and still in great pain. They got him up for the first time on Wednesday. I was not madly impressed because they were trying to walk him in bare feet, and when I looked around, all of the oldies were being walked up and down by the physios in their bare feet. Not allowed on any ward I ever worked on - risk of infection too great, they're very hot on hand cleaning at every turn, but when you think of what can be brought in on people's shoes...

    So yesterday he insisted on having his slippers on, and they found them from his locker. I've since learned that slippers are discouraged because so many of them are loose and floppy, and encourage the 'shuffling' rather than proper steps, that so many oldies are prone to. However, when he gets a bit more mobile I'll take his trainers in - he can wear them without socks and just slip them on and off.

    I also was not impressed that he was still on an indwelling catheter 12 days after admission!! So again, he asked to have it taken out, and that happened last night. Now he's having problems with incontinence (spoke to him just now). This is what I expected, especially when they started getting him to walk, gravity takes over, the catheter irritates and you can lose the sensation of when you want to 'go'. I have known people go into hospital perfectly continent and come out again after being catheterised, never continent again. It happened to 2 relatives of mine, and it was a problem I had myself some years ago after bladder surgery. My bladder became extra-sensitive and it has taken me ages to re-train it. However, I reassured DH that this was what I thought would happen, he is better without the catheter in and do some bladder re-training. The urology team are helping him, so it's good, a lot of people are on the ball.

    Yesterday he was taken to theatre and had a PICC line inserted: PICC = peripherally inserted central catheter, this is because there had been so much difficulty keeping an IV line in any of his veins. This PICC is a bit like when you go for an angiogram, it's in his arm but the end actually sits just above his heart. This is necessary because they've identified some of the nasty bugs that have caused all this, one of them is a bug that can cause bacterial endocarditis - attacks the heart valves - and they are giving IV antibiotics quite aggressively to hit these bugs hard. No good knocking them over and then letting them recover - that's why MRSA happens! IV lines and indwelling catheters are apparently a big cause of MRSA, routes that bugs can get in easily.

    I'm just waiting for materials to be delivered for my new shower enclosure and new loo, builder coming on Monday. Instead of a 'step in' shower we'll have a 'walk in' with 35 mm clearance, a better shower enclosure, curved so no sharp corners, and also a better-quality loo with dual-flush.

    I'm also ordering new furniture from HSL www.hslchairs.com - for DH, a handle recliner with a foot-raise so that his stiff knee can be supported. I'm ordering a standard one for me, not a recliner but to match. Well, there is a 4-6 delivery time, so given that we'll have Christmas upon us before we know it, I am posting that order off today. Not that Christmas matters all that much, but everywhere shuts down for a fortnight, so want to get it in. Am sending a cheque deposit - not paying by credit card and have the full amount taken up-front!

    This is really as much SKI-ing as is going on holiday. It's about greater comfort and convenience for us - hopefully this is the last time we'll ever need to have the bathroom modified or buy new furniture.
    Last edited by margaretclare; 24-10-2008 at 10:36 AM.
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 24th Oct 08, 11:41 AM
    • 32,460 Posts
    • 64,252 Thanks
    seven-day-weekend
    Glad your OP is slowly improving Margaret and hope his bladder learns how to work again soon.

    I agree that spending money on stuff to give yourselves a better quality of life is just as much SKI-ing as going on holiday. It's spending YOUR money on what YOU want - not saving it for someone else to inherit.

    Hope all continues well for you.
    Member #10 of 2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 24th Oct 08, 9:21 PM
    • 39,798 Posts
    • 37,033 Thanks
    Savvy_Sue
    So glad to hear Francophile's news and hope you have a great trip to France soon. And margaretclare, hope your DH continues to improve. One thing though:

    Am sending a cheque deposit - not paying by credit card and have the full amount taken up-front!
    Originally posted by margaretclare
    But paying by credit card gives you far more protection should anything go wrong! And yes, they take the full amount up front, BUT you don't have to pay for a month, at least. So I always use my credit cards for large purchases. Waiting for my new Fridge Freezer, next week, but that's a necessity rather than a SKI-ing upgrade, IMO, as the old one is starting to leak!
    Still knitting!
    Completed: 1 adult cardigan, 3 baby jumpers, 3 shawls, 1 sweat band, 3 pairs baby bootees,
    1 Wise Man Knitivity figure + 1 sheep, 2 pairs socks, 2 hats, 2 balaclavas for seamen, 1 balaclava for myself, multiple poppies, 3 peony flowers, 4 butterflies ...
    Current projects: ready to decrease / decreasing on all parts of the mohair cardigan pattern! but moved onto wrist warmers for friends at Christmas ...
  • Merrywidow
    You are so wise 7-D-W - Ski-ing or Ska-ting is all about doing the stuff you love - holidays are as much pampering oneself as those lovely treats. Just round the corner from my Ford garage is a fantastic fish/shellfish restuarant with food to die for. While my car was being serviced I treated myself this week with Oysters and a whole crab (half into a doggy bag for supper) it leaves me with a glow that lasts for days - my little bit of heaven. At their prices it wasn't something I would ever have allowed myself in leaner years. That was my treat after missing out on Galicia this year.
  • Merrywidow
    Hi Margaret - you are very quiet - I hope everything is OK. How is hubby doing?
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 4th Nov 08, 8:14 AM
    • 10,193 Posts
    • 17,258 Thanks
    margaretclare
    Thanks, MW. It has been a long story. 3 weeks yesterday DH was admitted to hospital with what turned out to be an abscess in the replaced knee joint, the one that had been replaced 3 times, the last time 2 years ago, apparently all healed up but never completely right - a low-grade niggling pain, now we know why. He nearly died. On the mend now, and was told by the orthopaedic registrar 'you don't know how lucky you are to be alive'. He does know in fact, because as he puts it 'I went to the edge and looked over, but I was brought back'.

    Anyway, his knee joint has to be reconstructed, it can't stay as it is now. In the meantime he has been fighting this major infection which has made him so weak, and also he's been very anaemic, had another 3 units of blood last week. But just now, the plan is to re-mobilise him and then to allow him home, but go back sometime before Christmas for the reconstruction. With a knee replacement there are 3 components, the top and bottom ones are still there but the one in the middle was removed because the consultant said 'infection finds places to hide'. And he has to have that piece put back so that he has a knee joint that can be used.

    Well, I have been SKI-ing with a vengeance. I ordered new curtains for the front room to be made, approx 400, my SIL will hang those for us. My new chairs from HSL about the same time. My new shower enclosure and new loo are lovely, that was 1980 in total, with materials and labour. I'm having the bathroom floor laid tomorrow morning - SIL brought the material surplus to another job, I just had to find someone local to lay it for me. I've been shopping at Waitrose, bought new bathroom mats, fruit cut up ready to eat for him, all those kinds of things. Last but not least, I've been in contact with 'Molly Maids' http://www.mollymaid.co.uk/ who are coming next Tuesday to do a complete spring-clean so that this house is thoroughly clean, all the things I can't do and in any case, have no time to do. Well worth the money. A shroud has no pockets etc.

    My life now revolves around those 2 precious hours every afternoon, which are never uninterrupted because someone always comes to do something. Parking at that hospital is dire and I've formed the habit of going there an hour early, to get into the car-park and I sit listening to the car radio. People at church have been very kind and supportive but, mostly, a lot of people who want to know the details wouldn't understand anyway. It's not something most people can relate to. They understand strokes and heart attacks, they understand people going in for surgery and coming home again. They even understand people being treated for cancer, or dying of it, they understand dementia. But this has been something unusual. It absolutely came out of the blue, was something we never thought of or expected at all.

    Yesterday a lady came round from the rehab team. They were proposing to bring him home for an hour, see how he coped, see what fixtures and fittings he might need, then bring him back. I think myself that's torture. Once he's home he wouldn't want to come back, except for the planned knee reconstruction in a few weeks' time. She proposed putting grab-rails by the front door. I've seen these - white plastic, just like in the bathroom. I was told by a police officer once that these are a dead give-away to anyone with nefarious intentions - 'someone elderly or disabled lives here' and there are those who will target people they think are vulnerable. Sad but true.

    He still has the PICC line in situ but now he's down to 1 x daily IV antibiotics instead of 4 x daily, and the District Nursing Service can do it once he's home. There is still some evidence of infection in his blood but they monitor it daily and it is coming down steadily, day by day.

    Now he needs to mobilise properly, off the zimmer and on to crutches. I took his own crutches in at the weekend but he was told yesterday it's a question of 'balance'. So hopefully he'll be allowed to use the crutches soon, then he'll be away. Once he can go to the loo himself, that will be a big step forward.

    I got rid of the other chairs via the local Freecycle.

    Me, I just feel tired. Tired, tired. You wouldn't believe how tiring all this is. Thanks for the kind thoughts.
    Last edited by margaretclare; 04-11-2008 at 8:19 AM.
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
    • Francophile
    • By Francophile 4th Nov 08, 9:18 AM
    • 745 Posts
    • 366 Thanks
    Francophile
    Thanks for taking the time to update us. No wonder you're exhausted. This whole episode sounds horrendous.
    Member #7 SKI-ers Club
    Norn Ireland Club Member 215
  • Merrywidow
    Thanks Margaret for the update. Trust me I really know what you are going thru. Had all the same experiences with my terminally ill husband. At one stage he was given two weeks to live and the agony went on for another 3 years before he died. At least you know your husband has something that they can cure eventually and that he will shortly be home. As you say, a shroud has no pockets - live for today - that little saying says so much.

    Try and get some rest before he comes home. Chin up. MW
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 5th Nov 08, 1:04 AM
    • 32,460 Posts
    • 64,252 Thanks
    seven-day-weekend
    Good to hear from you Margaret and wishing you and your husband well.
    Member #10 of 2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 5th Nov 08, 7:28 AM
    • 10,193 Posts
    • 17,258 Thanks
    margaretclare
    Thank you to all for the kind words and supportive messages. I was meant to be going out to the Wesley Guild at church yesterday evening but, would you believe, I suddenly went very very tired and could not face going out again, so I crawled into bed very very early.

    Bringing him home 'to see how he gets on' and then taking him back, has now been cancelled. We managed to convince them that we don't need it and it would be cruel - he wouldn't want to go back. They look at us and think 'two wrinklies who need to be told what is good for them'. Not us, thank you very much! Having both been in responsible jobs we are used to getting things done and we'll decide what we need, not have someone tell us what they think.

    DH is still using the zimmer but walking a little further each day. The physios said yesterday they want to get him on to crutches by Friday. Friday was when they were planning to bring him home then take him back...so he will be in at least over another weekend. Daily blood tests to check that the infection level is steadily falling.

    It's 11 years this evening since he arrived on my doorstep in flight from a disastrous marriage - we have never regretted it.

    Must get going, man coming at 9 am to lay my new bathroom floor. Then someone coming from Mollymaid at 10 am to see what needs to be done, and give me a quote.

    Best wishes to all
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
    • kittie
    • By kittie 5th Nov 08, 7:45 AM
    • 12,444 Posts
    • 79,027 Thanks
    kittie
    I am only logging onto this thread at the moment in order to hear updates about you and your dh Margaret. I wish you both well. Your inner strength is a shining light to the rest of us
    • donny-gal
    • By donny-gal 5th Nov 08, 8:33 AM
    • 4,598 Posts
    • 38,150 Thanks
    donny-gal
    M-C
    Also wishing you and OH well, and his continued improvement. Please keep us posted, we do care, and yes, keep spending to make your lives good now.
    DG
    Member #8 of the SKI-ers Club
    Why is it I have less time now I am retired then when I worked?
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 6th Nov 08, 6:29 AM
    • 10,193 Posts
    • 17,258 Thanks
    margaretclare
    Hello again, and thanks to all

    The latest SKI-ing will total just over 4 grand by the time it's all finished. I got the bathroom floor done yesterday and I am absolutely delighted with the bathroom now. The spare flooring that SIL brought has done the bathroom and there is still 7 sq m left. We'd only need 10 sq m if we ever want the kitchen floor done, so at the moment the 7 sq m is up in the loft. It's called 'Karndean' which is very high quality flooring: http://www.karndean.com/index.asp?check=true

    One of those pictures is exactly like ours, it's a darkish brown, looks like wood, and there's a shower enclosure exactly like ours.

    DH was quite despondent yesterday. He'd been talking to the doctor who is monitoring his blood results. It seems the infection has not completely gone away although it has reduced considerably and is coming down slowly and gradually. He could be in hospital another 3-4 weeks recovering and then there is the planned joint reconstruction to come, but the surgeons will not risk doing that while there is any infection left - the risk of the whole thing re-occurring are too great. He's still trying to re-mobilise but yesterday he didn't feel like moving at all, although he'd been out in the chair for a while, but didn't feel up to walking. The infection has left him so weak.

    I'm still having a complete house-clean done on Tuesday by MollyMaid, and the good news is that at least all will be done by the time he does come home - new chairs, new curtains - everything.
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
    • kittie
    • By kittie 6th Nov 08, 6:44 AM
    • 12,444 Posts
    • 79,027 Thanks
    kittie
    Margaret have you given your dh probiotics? Actimel is very good. I have done a lot of reading on probiotics and they will help your dh to overcome infection

    Karndean is lovely flooring and you must be so glad that you saved over the years.
    Last edited by kittie; 06-11-2008 at 7:33 AM.
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 6th Nov 08, 6:58 AM
    • 10,193 Posts
    • 17,258 Thanks
    margaretclare
    Margaret gave you given your dh probiotics? Actimel is very good. I have done a lot of reading on probiotics and they will help your dh to overcome infection

    Karndean is lovely flooring and you must be so glad that you saved over the years.
    Originally posted by kittie
    Thanks for the recommendation on Actimel. I'm going to Waitrose later this morning and I'll get some. Anything to get him better!
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

179Posts Today

3,419Users online

Martin's Twitter