Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • ceegee
    • By ceegee 19th Jan 06, 9:54 AM
    • 837Posts
    • 590Thanks
    ceegee
    debt....how does it make you feel?
    • #1
    • 19th Jan 06, 9:54 AM
    debt....how does it make you feel? 19th Jan 06 at 9:54 AM
    Until recently I've never been in debt. I have always managed to survive (just) by careful budgetting and general skinflintiness. However, helping out someone in need a few months ago has left me with a debt of approx £1500. This is hanging over me like a huge lead weight. It is the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and it is the background to all my thoughts during the day. I used to look in on my internet bank account every day, but I don't go near it now.

    I read a post recently (paulw, I think it was) and his debt was so huge and so insurmountable that he had gone beyond the point of worrying about it. What I was wondering was how do other people feel when they are in debt? What physical and/or emotional effects does debt have on you?
    "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow........"
Page 1
  • ozzyfan
    • #2
    • 19th Jan 06, 10:23 AM
    • #2
    • 19th Jan 06, 10:23 AM
    I am waiting an appointment with CCCS in February as I have debts of £21000 & it is absolutely devastating. Its all I have been able to think about for years in every waking moment, last night I was in floods of tears. I wish I could not worry about it but it has taken over my life to an unhealthy extent.
    I have nothing to show for the debt it has been through taking out consolidation loans just to pay the bills & feed & clothe my family there are 5 of us & all my adult life I have been on a low wage in an expensive part of the country to live.
    I know I could have done better with my budgeting in the past & now I am angry & totally disappionted in myself.
    I wish the black cloud over my head would lift & the sun would come out again.
    • loubie_lou
    • By loubie_lou 19th Jan 06, 10:27 AM
    • 1,330 Posts
    • 3,357 Thanks
    loubie_lou
    • #3
    • 19th Jan 06, 10:27 AM
    • #3
    • 19th Jan 06, 10:27 AM
    I feel like I can't make plans for the future

    I have to pay my debts off first before I can save up for a house deposit or go travelling. It's pretty crap really!
    But with the advice and stories on this board i'm well on my way to doing it
    In debt no more!
  • Kevicho
    • #4
    • 19th Jan 06, 10:29 AM
    • #4
    • 19th Jan 06, 10:29 AM
    Not very good, i try to channel it poistively by making me more determined to clear it off and giving me the incentive to change by bad spending habits
  • dinkylou
    • #5
    • 19th Jan 06, 10:36 AM
    • #5
    • 19th Jan 06, 10:36 AM
    For me I guess its a bit of a rollercoaster.

    I'm not in as much debt as some people on this site but I still need to get rid of it.

    Sometimes I feel sick at the amount I owe and worry myself sick about how long it will take to pay off, but then sometimes I tell myself to stop worrying and start living.

    These are the not so clever periods when I buy the things I want and go out as much as I would like to, without stressing too much about the cost.

    I never really go mad with spending, but its after these times when I feel the excessive guilt and can't sleep at night for worrying.

    I guess a balance is needed somewhere but I am certain that my attitude has changed.
  • bank_of_slate
    • #6
    • 19th Jan 06, 10:56 AM
    • #6
    • 19th Jan 06, 10:56 AM
    When I was spending it made me feel good (or so I thought!)

    Now I'm paying for things that I can't even remember, I see the money that comes in and know that we wouldn't be paying so much out a month if it wasn't for my stupid spending.

    However, what's done is done. I can't stress about that which I have no ability to change, so all I can do is look at what I CAN change, stop the needless spending and pay everything off!
    ...Linda xx
    It's easy to give in to that negative voice that chants "cant do it" BUT we lift each other up.
    We dont count all the runners ahead of us & feel intimidated.
    Instead we look back proudly at our journey, our personal struggle & determination & remember that there are those that never even attempt to reach the starting line.
  • Kateelizabee
    • #7
    • 19th Jan 06, 11:08 AM
    • #7
    • 19th Jan 06, 11:08 AM
    It makes me feel conflicted. I needed the loans to get my degree, but at the beginning it made me feel sick to think about it, so I put away the minimums into a savings account until my deferrment expired. I paid the minimums for a little under a year, before I realised just how much I'll save in interest by snowballing. If I had to do it again, I wouldn't have saved the money, I would have started paying it off early.

    I hate owing any money at all, but it feels great that I'll be able to pay them off 7 years early
    I'm an American living in Oxford using the exchange rate to my advantage. (As of 4 Oct 2006: 1USD=1.88GBP)

    Debts at highest November 2004: $29,464.51

    26 June 2006: Down to $17,701.27
    Private Student Loan: $3,073.61 (7.83%)
    US Federal Student Loan: $14,627.66 (5.3%)

    4 October 2006: Down to $11,622.66
    Private Student Loan: PAID IN FULL!
    US Federal Student Loan: $11,622.66 (5.38%)

    Debt Free Date: 27 September 2007, my 25th birthday!
    • kittie
    • By kittie 19th Jan 06, 11:08 AM
    • 12,446 Posts
    • 78,967 Thanks
    kittie
    • #8
    • 19th Jan 06, 11:08 AM
    • #8
    • 19th Jan 06, 11:08 AM
    I think I am older than all of you and we are about to retire. I was brought up in the old school of `making do` so we have never had extravagent holidays, plasma tv`s and so on. Money has gone out on hobbies such as horses etc

    We were bringing up 3 children on one salary and our mortgage payments were difficult and then the interest rate soared to 15% and that was very scary. That was when I started to write all expenses down and we literally did live on beans and tomatoes from the garden.

    Over time I did take out a loan here and there and was always glad to pay them off. Nowadays the tv is full of these consolidation loans which suck people in and trap them into ever spiralling debt.

    Now to get to the point of the OP: I am not in debt but I am scared to get in debt. We will soon be on a small income but there will still be unavoidable outgoings. We downsized and have bought all the bits that will make life comfy but shock, horror the safety net has been eaten into greatly.

    I realise that I have turned the OP around somewhat, but debt at a young age is surmountable, at an older age it isn`t. The thought of debt is enough to give sleepless nights to some
    • skylight
    • By skylight 19th Jan 06, 11:10 AM
    • 10,424 Posts
    • 16,875 Thanks
    skylight
    • #9
    • 19th Jan 06, 11:10 AM
    • #9
    • 19th Jan 06, 11:10 AM
    Please dont flay me alive here!

    I do not have a problem with it. We owe about £35k (from £38k before I found this place!)

    I have never lost sleep over it and have never been upset by it.

    Thats partly of because its who I am. I am a much more practical person and whats the worst thing that could ever happen too me because of debt anyway?

    Also is partly because the absolute worst thing nearly did happen - DD1 (Step Daughter) nearly died and things were put much more into prospective. Life is far more important.

    Now, none of this means that I don't care about my debt - I/we do. Its being paid back - by us as we ran it up. But I do not see my debt as the be all and end all of life.

    We still have holidays (cheap ones - courtesy of Mr Tesco and self catering!) and the kids dont miss out on their clubs (most are free via school anyway and I only have to do an extra hours overtime a week to cover the other) becuase we wont let them down the same way we let ourselves down.


    But I cant go travelling - would love to be able to save up for the year out I never took once the kids have left home. Would love to buy a bigger house (I would kill for a dining room). But these things have to wait.

    Charlotte
    xx
  • bumblebee
    I swing between two feelings on this one.

    The first is despair and shame, I feel guilty for putting myself in this position and not taking responsibility for my actions before now.

    The second is much more positive, i remind myself that i am aware of the situation and doing something about it, like getting a part-time job, making an appointment with payplan, because even if they can't help me, i can through the process help myself.

    Number two is winning at the moment, but sometimes one wins like this morning when I could not sleep, one thing I know for sure is that i would be a lot less well off without all the support I get on here!
  • the*dark*one
    My debts annoy me because I know I canít really do anything as such before I clear them. I want to go back to uni but this time make sure I have enough or a reasonable amount saved to not take out a loan, save for a house deposit etc but I canít even think of these things before my debts are cleared.

    It is frustrating but most days I try not to stress about it because it just isnít worth it. Iím paying it back bit by bit and every month I mark off the balance I owe and feel a lot happier counting down the months until I am debt free.

    Life is for living and Iíve been there and done that on the whole living like a pauper worrying about money and debts, it just isnít worth it, I was not only making myself unhappy but also others around me. I even ended up in hospital due to stress and nearly died because my chest muscles were not contracting and it stopped me breathing, my hair started falling out, I lost 3 stones in 6 weeks, messed up my uni exams and started smoking and drinking a hell of a lot more. I think what made the situation worse at the time was I owed such a miniscule amount in the grand scheme of things compared to others such as my boyfriendís cousin who owes near the £30k mark but still he is living life to the fullest and there was me stressing over a small sum of probably less than £4k. I can only say that now looking back on things but I remember at that time I had no support from my family, my partner wasn't working and I was in between jobs, couldn't afford to eat or pay the rent, it was not a good time.

    There are a lot of interesting things you can do on a budget, not every time you go out do you have to spend money to have a good time which is how I used to think. My current debt is basically due to recurring credit, Iíll pay off a card in full and then use it for the month and then pay it off etc. Thankfully I have a good job now and I will clear my debt once and for all and cut up all my cards but a few years ago, that £4k debt seemed a massive amount for me to contemplate paying off. I can understand the stress behind debt and how it affects peopleís lives. What often makes it worse is when you have nothing or little to show for it.

    Think positive and be happy, life is too short
    • James240
    • By James240 19th Jan 06, 11:46 AM
    • 15,616 Posts
    • 9,739 Thanks
    James240
    totally agree with loubie lou, its hard to plan for the future when ur in debt..... i live with my mate and his girlfriend and i desperatly need to start saving for my own place but i want to get rid of my debts before i start looking for a place of my own.... i only have a certain number of years at my friends house because im sure they will want to start a family...................

    which means i need to start knuckling down and sorting myself out

    its does make me feel quite depressed that i didnt have no self restraint in that i could have avoided this
    Matched Betting Winnings: £?????.?? Officially Debt Free!!! Official DFW Nerd 007 Ah Ha! There you are Ms 240
    • loubie_lou
    • By loubie_lou 19th Jan 06, 11:54 AM
    • 1,330 Posts
    • 3,357 Thanks
    loubie_lou
    James.....I don't want to rent for ever either. Wasting money in my opinion! But me are you are kinda in the same situation, having the sameish abmount of debt (living with friends who are all loved up etc!). I'm fortunate now to have landed myself a well paid job so i'll hopefully be debt free in about 3 years. But i'll be 27 before I can start saving for a house deposit. Oh well maybe i'll win the lottery or a rich man will sweep me off my feet........! (We girls can dream can't we!)
    In debt no more!
  • Ian Griffiths
    I don't think I would ever actually lose sleep over it. Life is more important than that and I do firmly feel that debt with interest just simply makes things more expensive, but you get them sooner. If I can enjoy what I have, and I am prepared to pay too much for them, then I'm am content that I like driving my car, listening to my stereo and working at my computer. I am working through what has been a difficult time, and it incredibly restrictive in terms of the amount of spare cash I have available to buy things, but then I also don't want for much. Don't have a TV, don't care about spending loads of money on nights out and I've no holidays planned.

    If you are content in the short term and properly managing the problem* in the long term, you are not so bad.

    * - ie. doing as much as you possibly can to reduce it, not merely refinancing and consolidating in order to ignore the problem.
  • the*dark*one
    I don't want to rent for ever either. Wasting money in my opinion!
    by loubie_lou
    Tell me about it! :rolleyes: The amount I pay in rent each month some of my friends' mortgages they don't pay that much! And every year that goes by and I'm no nearer to saving for a deposit on a house the prices go up and up and up...... :rolleyes:

    loubie_lou are you 24? Same age as me?
    • loubie_lou
    • By loubie_lou 19th Jan 06, 12:08 PM
    • 1,330 Posts
    • 3,357 Thanks
    loubie_lou
    Certainly am! Been renting for 5 years now. God knows how much of my money has gone down the plughole!
    In debt no more!
    • James240
    • By James240 19th Jan 06, 12:41 PM
    • 15,616 Posts
    • 9,739 Thanks
    James240
    James.....I don't want to rent for ever either. Wasting money in my opinion! But me are you are kinda in the same situation, having the sameish abmount of debt (living with friends who are all loved up etc!). I'm fortunate now to have landed myself a well paid job so i'll hopefully be debt free in about 3 years. But i'll be 27 before I can start saving for a house deposit. Oh well maybe i'll win the lottery or a rich man will sweep me off my feet........! (We girls can dream can't we!)
    by loubie_lou

    i know what u mean louby if i knuckle down to pay off my debts at the rate im hoping i should get it clear within 2 years by which time i will 30 which is annoying to say the least i feel like i have been such a fool ..........
    Matched Betting Winnings: £?????.?? Officially Debt Free!!! Official DFW Nerd 007 Ah Ha! There you are Ms 240
  • Glittermonkey
    Certainly am! Been renting for 5 years now. God knows how much of my money has gone down the plughole!
    by loubie_lou
    I rent too. In my current place i pay £8400 per year, i've been here 5 years, so thats £42000!!!!
    Lightbulb moment Dec 2005 - debt £23700

    June 2010 - £17984.21
    • pixie1
    • By pixie1 19th Jan 06, 12:46 PM
    • 1,373 Posts
    • 2,665 Thanks
    pixie1
    I loose sleep, Im teary all of the time, ashamed, moody and depressed basically no fun what so ever to be around. I was so desperate at one point I even looked into working for an escort agency!!!
  • the*dark*one
    I rent too. In my current place i pay £8400 per year, i've been here 5 years, so thats £42000!!!!
    by Glittermonkey
    that's a similar amount to what I pay!
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

141Posts Today

1,329Users online

Martin's Twitter