Curbing the ridiculous

in Debt Free Diaries
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  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    Thanks @BellaLasagna2018 - for your very kind words.

    DH has been signed off for the rest of the week so didn't go to work yesterday.  I went to work, DC1 to nursery and DC2 to MIL.  DC2 still poorly and has diarrhea too.  I just don't know when he is going to get better.  Spent £3.50 on a southern fried chicken baguette yesterday and I am not feeling guilty about it as I had barely eaten for a number of days and we had barely spent anything.

    We are (all being well with illnesses and the like!) off to Spain next sunday for a week so ordered travel adapters for that (6 for £5.71) as god only knows where ours are, some facemasks, a bottle brush, nappies for DC2 (needed anyway but got early to ensure we have for holiday) and some skin so soft (amazing for keeping mossies away) so including the travel adapters the total was £36.39.

    Day off for me today.  Might take DC to the park whilst DH lounges around at home in the dressing gown of doom.  We could probably do with some milk so might get that.  Also need to order DC1 some nappies which will be £22 but should last for a good while.  Expecting all meals to be from stores.  Thank god tomorrow is friday.
  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    On another note (and hoping this is not outing).  What would you do?

    Ok, so, if we stay where we are, we will have to use literally every last penny of our savings plus max ourselves out on the mortgage.  We can afford it, as the plan would be to fix the rate for first 5 years whilst we have nursery fees for the 2 DC (which are 1600 a month!) so even if interest rates rose post the 5 year fix, we could then absorb it (and we actually only have 2 years of nursery fees left for DC1 as he is 3).  But we would be fully tied to our jobs until retirement age and have a huge mortgage hanging over us.  

    Buying a cheaper house here isn't an option because (a) then we may as well have just stayed in our old house and this would all have been for nothing and (b) prices have skyrocketed so we are actually struggling to find anything fitting our minimum criteria (which aren't even that fussy) for below fully maxing ourselves out.  

    Downsides of leaving are obviously family and friends - that said, my family aren't here and DH's dad/stepmum live in UK and have said if we move there they will probably move to within 30 mins of us.

    We have spoken to our employers and I am waiting for formal confirmation but we can both keep our jobs and work remotely.

    If we buy in UK (would likely be Devon/Somerset) then we could potentially live either mortgage free or with a very small mortgage or, (and this is what we are thinking of doing), take out a larger mortgage (but still WAY less than here)  and get somewhere with say a couple of holiday lets (or ability to create) and run those on the side.  It is something we have always fancied doing (we talked about moving to France a few years ago but think that is a step too far with the language and distance) and it would provide us with a bit of an income buffer.

    In addition, we'd like somewhere with a decent amount of land so that we could have chickens, pigs, grow veg and fruit and try to become fairly self sustainable.

    Downsides are we would be paying more in tax/NI than here (though this would likely be offset by lower costs of living, at least to some degree), away from family and friends having to start again.

    Upsides - a life we've always fancied and less pressure mortgage wise.  More for the DC to do.

    We are just a bit stuck as to what the best thing to do is.
  • Sunshine_girl2Sunshine_girl2 Forumite
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    Delurking , always read your diary but never commented . 

    You are in a similar position to my friends were a few years ago , if you live where I think you are , they had the dilemma for ages . House prices weren't as expensive then of course , but they moved back to the UK relocated to Devon. Husband kept his job but wife  got a new part time job. They had children but not as young as yours . They became mortgage free when they returned to the uk , long story short they both recently retired at 52 and 54 . They saved really hard when they returned to the UK to achieve this . 

    Just thought I would share this with you. 

    Hope you are all better soon. 
    Debt free April 26th 2021

  • carolbeecarolbee Forumite
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    I’m a lurker too. Been following, I’d come back to UK.  

    Last year we seriously considered moving to Portugal, house sold etc.  We decided not to go due to good social life, friends and family network etc here. It wasn’t the physical, more the emotional ties that kept us here.

    I'm a great believer in the gut feeling too, and it wasn’t right, so here we are still in Kent.


    Carolbee
  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    @Sunshine_girl2 thank you for your well wishes.  Did they regret moving to uk and were they from where you think I am from?  It's just the wrench of leaving friends and family which is causing us the issue.

    @carolbee - thank you.  I think that is our worry, it's the emotional ties.  If it wasn't for that we would be off!  My family live in north of uk so I've been away from them for a long time but I do realise we have decent support from DH's mum here which we would lose.  That said, she could drop dead tomorrow and his dad and stepmum have already said they'd move to be near us if we went to UK
  • Sunshine_girl2Sunshine_girl2 Forumite
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    I will say they moved from the Channel Islands to Devon but did live in Gibraltar for a while as well. No they have never regretted moving back to the UK as if they had stayed they wouldn't have the same lifestyle they have here now . 
    Debt free April 26th 2021

  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    Not left the house yet.  I fear I have gone downhill and feel sick, cold and dizzy.  Just drinking some very cold water.  Might head out later to get supplies but can't go yet as there is yet another van in the drive blocking me in.  Oh the irony of moving for more space and to be able to get in and out of our own driveway and turn unrestricted (amongst many other things) to now having less space and not even being able to get out!!!
  • doingitanywaydoingitanyway Forumite
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    I just read your comments on my diary (thank you) and thought I would read your diary too. Just read it all.

    The sickness you have all experienced seem just terrible and your descriptions are so visceral. Not surprised you are a writer. I hope you are all better soon.

    I have a friend who I always spend lots with as she is better off than me and thinks nothing of drinks and food (all of good quality) I don't see her that often, so when I do I just accept it and enjoy the temporary escape from constant penny pinching, and economise elsewhere...

    I can't believe the journey you have been on. You are right we are in similar circumstances in some ways but I don't think I could have survived with children to manage too. You are doing so well. I can totally empathise with living in awful accommodation and how deeply depressing that is. 

    Your DH's mum seems to provide much needed support so that needs factoring in if you move. Although as you say that could change...

    It is scary how much house prices have increased and in my darker moments I think I will end up priced out and homeless. And yet, I think we will be okay. I really do.

    It only takes one house! People have to move (and price accordingly) in the event of death, divorce and work. We are in ready to go. That is our advantage!

    Take care of yourself and get better.

    Keep the faith! Sending positive vibes. 





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  • carolbeecarolbee Forumite
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    It’s so much easier to make friends when your children are small, school gates, hobbies etc. One of our reasons for not going was how to make those friendship groups again. Here, along with friends, we have an allotment, involved with a local charity.

    it was the houses I fell in love with, I like a project!

    I always do and pros and cons list. For going to Portugal, on a practical level, won hands down. It’s those emotional ties. You don’t at the moment have to take into consideration  schools and child’s  opinions!

    its the thought of all that debt and commitment to paying a mortgage that would make me move back to UK. 
    Carolbee
  • enthusiasticsaverenthusiasticsaver Forumite, Ambassador
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    I would opt for as cheap a mortgage and as nice a house/lifestyle as possible. We moved from London to Cornwall more than 30 years ago and never regretted it. My husband got a job transfer too and at the time I was a SAHM. Our children were small at the time too. Realistically the only time you can do this is now when your children are young. From the sound of it you would prefer to live in the UK, financially it makes sense to come back here and you have some family and jobs. Also in the UK you should get free childcare over 3 (dependant on income/hours worked)  The downside is leaving your MIL. 
    Early retired in December 2017. Debt counsellor for a High Street bank in a previous life.

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