£40k debt, no end in sight. Total mess at the moment.

in Debt Free Diaries
19 replies 1.7K views


  • edited 2 September at 10:54PM
    alt80alt80 Forumite
    3.2K Posts
    1,000 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited 2 September at 10:54PM
    Well done on day 2 mate, I know what it's like. It's not easy but can be done - 91 days here though my real issue wasn't with alcohol it doesn't really matter. Lot more people been off the substances a lot longer than I but what I found good was just focusing on getting through each day as days build you won't want to go back to day 1 and engage with the pros.

    If you have health insurance find out what support is available and embrace it mine have been brilliant since I started on my path to recovery and will also say the giving up alcohol thread on here is generally very supportive.
  • LotstogainLotstogain Forumite
    42 Posts
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    I've been meaning to update for a while and your post has prompted me to write. Well done also and I'd really encourage you to check out AA as it has and still does help me. I was in a very similar situation with debt and alcohol .  I posted in 2015 when I had c.22k of unsecured debt, 10k car loan.  I put up a SOA  only allowing £20 a month for food but £100/month for Holidays (basically drinking), £80/month entertainment (also drinking).  I wasn't thinking straight!! I didn't make any progress and probably racked up more debt until 2018 when thankfully I got dumped which propelled me into AA.  I've now just got 3k debt left which I will clear early (by Christmas), some savings and most importantly am just over 3 years sober (day at a time).  AA is brilliant - everyone is so supportive, understands the illness (it is an illness) and how it messes with our heads because everyone's gone/going through it. Like the OP above says (well done to you too) it's a journey, not easy, but it can be done.  There's a telephone helpline, zoom meets (even a 24 hour international) and most face to face meetings are back now- and hopefully they'll even be bringing back the tea and biscuits soon! There is hope x 
  • enthusiasticsaverenthusiasticsaver Forumite, Board Guide
    12.6K Posts
    Eighth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    You have made a good start in laying the ground work for a DMP.  There are two support threads which you might find useful.  One for those trying to stop drinking alcohol and one for those on a DMP.  Good that you are getting help through your employers. Are you getting step change to set up the DMP or are you going self managed? Once you are settled on it I think things will look a lot better.  A good first step is to save a decent emergency fund as you will not have access to credit.  Also bear in mind you want your creditors to default you asap as the defaults drop off your file after 6 years so the sooner they default the sooner they drop off. 

    Maybe try putting an soa up  here for people to suggest areas you can cut back on.  
    Early retired in December 2017

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to [email protected]
  • Tarn2021Tarn2021 Forumite
    16 Posts
    10 Posts
    Hi everyone

    So i sent off letters and those who've received have frozen fees and interest.

    I find myself in a weird place. I'm not sure i've done the right thing. I mean, i was £792 into an £850 overdraft after direct debits but before food and living....so unless i sold personal items to raise cash i was in trouble, and have been since March.

    But now having cancelled direct debits AND sold about £500 after fees on ebay, i feel different.

    But then, i remember the crippling anxiety i had whenever i was sober, which i think has now largely eased up.

    Had to reset the alchohol free days to ZERO because i well, celebrated. I know i can come good on this. I have a couple of questions given i have 9 creditors:

    1. Should i postpone defaults until necessary, so i can just go with arrears and save as much as possible?
    2. Should i get it over with and aim for defaults ASAP?

    With a strict budget i can save c£1200 per month in the short term until the end of 2021 since my 22 yr old car passed it's latest MOT and i managed to get overtime (1st time in 7 years...)  for Sept and Oct.

    I don't know, missing payments is such an alien concept to me... i know i was behind c£700 p/month wihout selling stuff on ebay  but still.

    Having a bit of a crisis right now.

  • BrieBrie Forumite
    1.1K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Sounds like positive steps are being taken even if occasionally there's a backward one.  Try to keep plugging away.
    "Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.”
  • Tarn2021Tarn2021 Forumite
    16 Posts
    10 Posts
    So an update..

    Still struggling with giving up drinking.

    Barclaycard, Nationwide and Tesco apparenly either don't receive or read letters now. Zero response to my letters and their online messaging is worse - they seem keener to disprove i sent a letter than listen to my situation.

    Paypal also not great...but Barclaycard is the worst. Their account messaging is a chatbot and when you get through to a person it's worse?! 15 messages later we're still at them trying to find my original letter rather than listening to the same letter that i've painstakingly typed out in the chat, since i can't copy and paste.

    Meanwhile...Hitcahi confirmed receipt of letter 13 days ago but no reply, Cap1, Aqua and V12 all instantly applied "breathing space" with no hassle.

    I think i feel wose than before.
  • BrieBrie Forumite
    1.1K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Have you tried contacting them through facebook or twitter.  Some card companies react quickly to social media as it's very public.  Keep your initial comment short and to the point "I sent you a letter about my account 2 weeks ago and had no acknowledgement" or similar.  Don't tell the whole world your story at least initially.
    "Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.”
  • Tarn2021Tarn2021 Forumite
    16 Posts
    10 Posts
    I don't really use social media but worth a go. 

    HSBC called me today and I answered, really nice call and they were very helpful. Can't fault them so far. 

    Not sure I want to face that over and over though! Will see what social media turns up. 

    Also, Nationwide now probably the worst so far - I answered their call by mistake and it was all automated! 
  • BrieBrie Forumite
    1.1K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Take it one day at a time and do what you can when you can.  Hopefully it will all add up in a positive kinda way.
    "Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.”
Sign In or Register to comment.
Latest MSE News and Guides

Tesco Clubcard rule tweaks

Be careful when converting points to Cineworld

MSE News

£148 of Ciaté nail polish for £35

Via its Advent calendar (norm £59 delivered)

MSE Deals