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First Steps to Solvency

edited 18 February at 7:10PM in Debt Free Diaries
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  • ryanm8655ryanm8655 Forumite
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    Your story with the son's school friends parents on a night out is another reason the coke is bad, you fail to see blindingly obvious things like that are a bad idea ha. Not judging and can completely see how it happened. Did make me chuckle a bit even though I can understand the wife being livid.

    August 2019: £28.8k

    November 2020: £0 (0% interest)

    My debt free diary:


  • RelievedSheffRelievedSheff Forumite
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    I think you need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture which as it stands is still that you are spending more than you are earning. 

    You need to find some more cut backs or some more earnings.
  • getmore4lessgetmore4less Forumite
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    A good point was made earlier on the 2nd car about needing a work horse that you won't go off on one because the kids left a bit of mud on the carpet after football and dropped a crisp packet.

    I think you need to back off on the 2nd car for a couple of years, sort your s**t out and then look at a 3rd car to fill that gap if units are not more important at that time. 

  • getmore4lessgetmore4less Forumite
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    alt80 said:
    @getmore4less thanks mate. Yeah I am still struggling to live on my income tbh it's better than it was but there are some ious still. Can't see where category for just spend it can come from - if I go down that road the debts will take longer to pay unless I find an increase in income - not going down that road for 2 years as want to keep in retained.

    Head just a massive jumbled mess tbh - I owe so much money everywhere some of it I either need to work out what I'm doing about it or forget about it tbt. Credit cards/ RR are 'easy' as I know I need to pay those. BTL refinance I feel I owe myself by cutting my income in some way but can't cut my income. Also been thinking I owe myself the money I've spent on stuff as well, ftype /BMW (if it goes back) money etc. etc.
    Another cliché  there is a core saying in finance and particular related  to debts  that applies here.

    You can only spend each £ once.

    You can't invent money to pay yourself back you have to park some of these, there is no magic money tree its just another £

    I mentioned before the refinance of the BTL was to buy the RR, ok it is juggling numbers, the payments for that are paying back those  old debts now or would be if you had not bought the RR.

    There was no way you could afford the RR your BTL business bought it for you if you want to think of it like that.

    You are where you are I would put the old  stuff behind you  before you know it you will be adding in those blow out meals  you had years ago to the never ending total........

    What is important is the plan from now( or should that be sept?)  make that balance for your £8k coming in and don't increase it till the business improves.

  • ladyhollyladyholly Forumite
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    While you may not drive high from what I understand it remains in your system for some time and is detectable. 
  • stymiedstymied Forumite
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    Meal planning for a quarter to that level of detail isn’t a realistic ask - it’s hard enough to do it for 2 weeks at a time and I like to vary depending on what’s on special offer at the time. The housekeeping budget needs to cover food & drink but also household products like cleaning stuff & loo roll (7 year olds get through a lot!), toiletries, medicines and random stuff like batteries. It all adds up. £400 per month should be realistic but not if you’re trying to fit takeaways & meals out in the same budget which you were previously. That would take buying cheaper brands, special offer shopping and some more basic meals.

    Would it be worth getting a report out of how much has been spent on expensed coffees and lunches? As it’s all your money in the end it feels like another hidden expenditure. I’m probably being very naive.

    If it were me, I’d feel trapped without ready access to a car - would push my anxiety levels up. Enforced walks from school in the pouring rain are miserable.
  • alt80alt80 Forumite
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    Caught myself thinking could maybe not quit the stuff altogether just have a bit on a big one in the future. Think I need to accept going to have to quit it for good really. Don’t go on big nights much anymore, could possibly just stop going altogether won’t miss much really. Not just a financial thing but doing all the work for the counselling can see it’s not been good for me or my family. !!!!!! worried it’s been obvious when I’ve been using quite heavily tbh and might be trying to laugh it off a bit but I’m really ashamed of where I’ve let it get tbh. Can see it has become a problem can’t allow myself to spiral into the abyss or I’ll be back on it, or that’s my worry.

    @ryanm8655 honestly mate it really wasn’t great. Didn’t even enjoy it was just badly paranoid, trying to tell myself they didn’t know. They 100 knew lol. FML it was shameful thinking back mate. Wife was disgusted tbh 100 didn’t look after me the day after like she usually does. I don’t know if they passed the info on but we’ve never been invited to any social events since outside of kids parties etc.

    @RelievedSheff only two reasons I’m running over budget right now and neither going to happen again. Wife has been warned we can’t afford blow outs and I’m off the other stuff.

    @getmore4less I don’t have my kid eating in my car FML. No way. I hate eating in my car myself. Do it once in a while with lockdown not being able to go in cafes when the weather is bad so can’t sit on tailgate but I get my wife to vacuum it when I get back. Muddy shoes - Have the rubber mats and ‘pet protection pack’ lol, wife gets them out once a week to wash them and vacuum carpets underneath. She knows what she needs to do with the Range Rover I did a checklist ages ago for the sport, this one no different. She’s pretty good with getting cleaning jobs done tbh. I did her a massive list for house cleaning/ comm office/ garden schedule and frequency of when I like it done when we first moved in together. Runs like a machine now, don’t need to be involved.

    Hear you on not keep adding stuff to my debt to myself, I had actually considered big holidays/ blown out meals tbh. Know I can’t spend it more than once. Feel I need the punishment of paying it all the stuff back then torturing myself about it and sometimes it leads me to the stuff tbh. Get so !!!!!! depressed about it and need a hit. Not sure how I park it and move on now I’ve opened the wound up tbh though. Think I’m making progress on that then open the spreadsheets up and start calculating what o owe myself. Started with doing figures for ftype, thought FML spent too much on this then better make an iou to pay it back to myself. Not ended from there. Got all the waste of money purchases where I’ve lost saved on my computer will add one periodically last one was chang over the last two decades so got that as a debt to me too. 

    @ladyholly you’re right. I don’t plan on doing it again so all being well not an issue I need to be concerned about. 

    @stymied No reason a quarter plan for meals is unreasonable at all imo. My parents used to do it and this was a commercial kitchen not a family of 3 lol. My dad used to work out all ingredients, where from etc and we knew what we’d be eating for the quarter as they did family meals at same time win win tbh. Wife gets the nutrition tracking sorted without really thinking about it too for a bonus. If you by ild up a spreadsheet of say 5 breakfasts, 10 lunches and 20 dinners, work out when you’re going to eat them and save the sheet you’re sorted. Get more variety than usual tbh lol. £400/m was for food only. 

    Cleaning supplies etc separate. Will tell her to look back through receipts over last quarter and can work out specific budget for it from there.

    Sons clothes: already told her she needs to make a list of what he needs this coming year. I will review if reasonable. Set months when she’s going to buy it and a contingency for him wrecking stuff. Told her can forget designer stuff just get JLs own stuff, a decent coat say up to £150 and a couple of decent pairs of shoes. 100 I’ll be looking over this and I’ll probably just buy it myself when I’m out.

    Our clothes: 1000 don’t need anything. Wants different matter but whilst we’re debt paying both she and I can forget it. 

    Make up/ skincare/ toiletries etc etc: told her if she wants more of that she can earn it - got a !!!!!! tonne of it in this house. Same with beauty/ hair etc she wants it she can do nails. Only thing I can think of maybe £500 for replacement fragrances and £30/m for mine and sons hair when we can go.

    Starbucks coffees etc cut that to 1 a week when unexpensed. I have same, she has same and son has same. Usually share a biscuit between us. So £15/w and that’s sorted. 

    Alcohol having the month off then thinking £100/m Max spend I don’t want to really get back into drinking much tbh bottle of champagne once a month and couple bottles of wine/ few beers and we’re sorted. Been through my scotch and got one that I’d like to buy replacement for in near future £150 bottle. Rest there’s years worth. 

    Takeaway- not something we have. Can lump in with eating out, account for 2 a year. 1 meal out a month when lockdown over somewhere like copper or whatever plus a big one for my / wife’s birthdays so add for those months. £100/m plus allowance for something a bit better for wife say extra £100 and my birthday blowout say extra £400. So £1,700/y.

    Only other things I can think of are holidays (sorted) and occasions (sorted).

    Can get her on all of this over the month.

  • theoreticatheoretica Forumite
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    alt80 said:

    Re types of car: new car, I’m not interested in anything cheaper than the BMW.

    Needs to be faced full on.  If you can resign yourself that if a second car is useful it will be something you aren't interested in then it opens up all sorts of much cheaper options for a transport tool.
    I hear you that you have always had a weekday and a fun car, but 'always done it this way' can have to change and your weekday car seems to have grown rapidly and gobbled up more than your total car budget used to be.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • alt80alt80 Forumite
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    @theoretica thank you something for me to mull over.

    Tbh RR prices have gone up. Equivalent sport was a lot more than 10 years ago.
  • annabanana82annabanana82 Forumite
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    Why does your wife only get half of your birthday blow out for her Birthday meal?

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