August 2019: £28.8k
November 2020: £0 (0% interest)
My debt free diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/77330320#Comment_77330320
@getmore4less thanks mate. Yeah I am still struggling to live on my income tbh it's better than it was but there are some ious still. Can't see where category for just spend it can come from - if I go down that road the debts will take longer to pay unless I find an increase in income - not going down that road for 2 years as want to keep in retained. Head just a massive jumbled mess tbh - I owe so much money everywhere some of it I either need to work out what I'm doing about it or forget about it tbt. Credit cards/ RR are 'easy' as I know I need to pay those. BTL refinance I feel I owe myself by cutting my income in some way but can't cut my income. Also been thinking I owe myself the money I've spent on stuff as well, ftype /BMW (if it goes back) money etc. etc.
Caught myself thinking could maybe not quit the stuff altogether just have a bit on a big one in the future. Think I need to accept going to have to quit it for good really. Don’t go on big nights much anymore, could possibly just stop going altogether won’t miss much really. Not just a financial thing but doing all the work for the counselling can see it’s not been good for me or my family. !!!!!! worried it’s been obvious when I’ve been using quite heavily tbh and might be trying to laugh it off a bit but I’m really ashamed of where I’ve let it get tbh. Can see it has become a problem can’t allow myself to spiral into the abyss or I’ll be back on it, or that’s my worry.
@ryanm8655 honestly mate it really wasn’t great. Didn’t even enjoy it was just badly paranoid, trying to tell myself they didn’t know. They 100 knew lol. FML it was shameful thinking back mate. Wife was disgusted tbh 100 didn’t look after me the day after like she usually does. I don’t know if they passed the info on but we’ve never been invited to any social events since outside of kids parties etc.
@RelievedSheff only two reasons I’m running over budget right now and neither going to happen again. Wife has been warned we can’t afford blow outs and I’m off the other stuff.
@getmore4less I don’t have my kid eating in my car FML. No way. I hate eating in my car myself. Do it once in a while with lockdown not being able to go in cafes when the weather is bad so can’t sit on tailgate but I get my wife to vacuum it when I get back. Muddy shoes - Have the rubber mats and ‘pet protection pack’ lol, wife gets them out once a week to wash them and vacuum carpets underneath. She knows what she needs to do with the Range Rover I did a checklist ages ago for the sport, this one no different. She’s pretty good with getting cleaning jobs done tbh. I did her a massive list for house cleaning/ comm office/ garden schedule and frequency of when I like it done when we first moved in together. Runs like a machine now, don’t need to be involved.
Hear you on not keep adding stuff to my debt to myself, I had actually considered big holidays/ blown out meals tbh. Know I can’t spend it more than once. Feel I need the punishment of paying it all the stuff back then torturing myself about it and sometimes it leads me to the stuff tbh. Get so !!!!!! depressed about it and need a hit. Not sure how I park it and move on now I’ve opened the wound up tbh though. Think I’m making progress on that then open the spreadsheets up and start calculating what o owe myself. Started with doing figures for ftype, thought FML spent too much on this then better make an iou to pay it back to myself. Not ended from there. Got all the waste of money purchases where I’ve lost saved on my computer will add one periodically last one was chang over the last two decades so got that as a debt to me too.
@ladyholly you’re right. I don’t plan on doing it again so all being well not an issue I need to be concerned about.
@stymied No reason a quarter plan for meals is unreasonable at all imo. My parents used to do it and this was a commercial kitchen not a family of 3 lol. My dad used to work out all ingredients, where from etc and we knew what we’d be eating for the quarter as they did family meals at same time win win tbh. Wife gets the nutrition tracking sorted without really thinking about it too for a bonus. If you by ild up a spreadsheet of say 5 breakfasts, 10 lunches and 20 dinners, work out when you’re going to eat them and save the sheet you’re sorted. Get more variety than usual tbh lol. £400/m was for food only.
Cleaning supplies etc separate. Will tell her to look back through receipts over last quarter and can work out specific budget for it from there.
Sons clothes: already told her she needs to make a list of what he needs this coming year. I will review if reasonable. Set months when she’s going to buy it and a contingency for him wrecking stuff. Told her can forget designer stuff just get JLs own stuff, a decent coat say up to £150 and a couple of decent pairs of shoes. 100 I’ll be looking over this and I’ll probably just buy it myself when I’m out.
Our clothes: 1000 don’t need anything. Wants different matter but whilst we’re debt paying both she and I can forget it.
Make up/ skincare/ toiletries etc etc: told her if she wants more of that she can earn it - got a !!!!!! tonne of it in this house. Same with beauty/ hair etc she wants it she can do nails. Only thing I can think of maybe £500 for replacement fragrances and £30/m for mine and sons hair when we can go.
Starbucks coffees etc cut that to 1 a week when unexpensed. I have same, she has same and son has same. Usually share a biscuit between us. So £15/w and that’s sorted.
Alcohol having the month off then thinking £100/m Max spend I don’t want to really get back into drinking much tbh bottle of champagne once a month and couple bottles of wine/ few beers and we’re sorted. Been through my scotch and got one that I’d like to buy replacement for in near future £150 bottle. Rest there’s years worth.
Takeaway- not something we have. Can lump in with eating out, account for 2 a year. 1 meal out a month when lockdown over somewhere like copper or whatever plus a big one for my / wife’s birthdays so add for those months. £100/m plus allowance for something a bit better for wife say extra £100 and my birthday blowout say extra £400. So £1,700/y.
Only other things I can think of are holidays (sorted) and occasions (sorted).
Can get her on all of this over the month.
alt80 said:Re types of car: new car, I’m not interested in anything cheaper than the BMW.
Re types of car: new car, I’m not interested in anything cheaper than the BMW.
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