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Thoughts on...

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in MoneySaving Dads
7 replies 6.2K views
Eagles1905Eagles1905 Forumite
81 posts
edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in MoneySaving Dads
Fellow Dad's, been divorced 2.5 years and ex-wife has confirmed she is now in a new relationship that has become serious, she has already mentioned introducing our young son to the new partner. What are your thoughts on me meeting this person too? Personally, I have very little interest in meeting this other chap unless a situation developed in which they ended up living together etc. Interested to see what the views are.

“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”


  • geminiladygeminilady Forumite
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    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    I agree with you would meet him if they decide to live together. I would hope she has been in the relationship at least six months before she has him meet your son.
  • edited 13 July 2019 at 3:52PM
    seashore22seashore22 Forumite
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    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 13 July 2019 at 3:52PM
    So what are you going to do if:

    Your ex says no to you meeting the new partner?

    You take an instant dislike to him?

    Not much you can do, is there?

    I'm not a dad, so hope that doesn't disqualify me from having an opinion.
  • All opinions welcome!

    It's a tricky one, but guess I would have to trust my ex wife's judgment of character and go from there. There are no plans to introduce our son just yet and we have agreed to be open and honest. It's a tough one for me, but I want to handle it maturely for the benefit of our boy. This works both ways too of course, I am not being one sided of naive.
    “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
  • DavonDavon Forumite
    3 posts
    This is why I don't like dealing with ex wife. They leave and they easily get a new guy to start their life again. Well, for me i'd better enjoy my life and pick up girls with no strings attached than dealing with emotional issues.
  • That's why I want to be the bigger man and handle this when the time is right to do so, never thought is was going to be easy but was very interested to see what the general opinion was, I know I am not in a unique situation, sadly this kind of thing happens all the time.
    “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
  • PrimrosePrimrose Forumite
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    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    I'd have a serious conversation with your ex if relationships are still amicable enough and tell her of your concerns because sooner or later your vibes, whether they are positive or negative about any new man in her life will be picked up by your child and that is not a good emotional position for him to be placed in.

    There may be family occasions in the more distant future where you will find yourselves in the same room or the same family function and they will be a lot more easily negotiated if you're able to do this from a civilised base. I agree its a difficult situation to navigate but you all have to be honest and grown up about this and your child will be less emotionally stressed if he,s not the object of a tug of war between two (or three) warring adults, all of whom will be playing a key part in his life.
  • Carl31Carl31 Forumite
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    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    From experience, both my own and in my wifes case, I would say its very beneficial to have at least an amicable relationship with your ex's partner. You dont have to be best mates, but a simple "hi, how are you" from time to time is better for everyone than any hostility

    Dont forget, your son will be seeing this person often, and may not share the same views you do on them, which might not make you look good
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