1 month old baby at wedding?

spadoosh · 24 July 2019 at 11:06AM

Wifes expected date was our original wedding date, so we rescheduled a year later.

That year my best man got his wife pregnant and the expected date was our wedding date.

Baby came early (Cant remember now exactly but about 6 weeks) but i told him everything was on him, no pressure to come, to leave/bring child, do speech or blast out his piano solo as we where walking down the aisle.

He came with his wife, looking stunning, it was the first time i saw my best mates beautiful boy, he nailed the piano version of higher love and his speech wasnt that bad either! It woudlve been rubbish without them all there. Fortunately they decided the day before they would come. It was never an issue accommodating him, well because hes my best friend.

That was my experience. We wherent precious about it ebing a special day between the two of us, if we where we wouldve invited the minimum number required. We wanted to celebrate with our friends and family and thank them for making us the people we are.

8ofspades · 24 July 2019 at 11:23AM

I had a two week old baby at my wedding. Baby didn't cry during the ceremony, newborns are pretty boring after the initial 'awwh how cute' - they sleep and feed and not much else, so attention really isn't an issue. I think you're making way more of this than it needs to be. The only thing you can't avoid is your friend will have to put baby first, not you. I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to discuss and arrange logistics though and get to a place where you feel happier about the situation. The more OTT you are about getting the perfect wedding, the less you'll enjoy the day.

Sea_Shell · 24 July 2019 at 11:52AM

How are you going to choose the bridesmaids dresses and arrange fittings around a pregnancy??!

She might not even want to be having to do that role on the day, having to wear a dress that may be completely impractical or uncomfortable.

If you're good friends, then have a frank conversation about all this and maybe the best outcome for everyone will be for her NOT to be a bridesmaid.

Are there other guests who would be upset if this baby came, but theirs weren't invited??

Mrsn · 24 July 2019 at 12:58PM

Having got married recently, my husbands cousin brought along their 8 week old. I really didn’t notice him there to be honest, only time he really stirred was when he was hungry (also being breastfed) and he was content for the rest of it including when the DJ started in the evening.

I’ll be honest I was asked to be a bridesmaid when I’d just found out I was pregnant with my eldest, if I knew my friend was feeling this way from how you’ve described there will be lots of demands etc I would have been incredibly upset and wouldn’t have wanted to be a part of the day.... you are both going through new transitions and it’s a shame you aren’t supportive to hers as I’m sure she will have been to yours....

DigForVictory · 24 July 2019 at 1:27PM

+1 for a month old baby having high odds of being out cold through most if not all of it.

+1 for give your friend a chance, and if you must, a choice - she & child are of course welcome but she may prefer not to have you to worry about as well as her forthcoming blessing.

It might bag the attention? For pity's sake, you are bigger, louder & wearing a more expensive frock. The invites have your name on them, along with the presents. Plus, since you are paying the photographer, you can make it clear that you do not want any photos of 'mother & child' in your wedding album.

If you really are sweating about 'the competition', talk to the lass. Just try to hang onto the friendship.

Faith177 · 25 July 2019 at 1:29AM

I’m maid of honour next week to my best friend for her wedding in Southern Ireland. Our little girl was born on the 25th June so she’ll be 5 weeks old and it’s changed nothing if anything I have tried to be the easiest person for her to deal with whatever she wants she gets lol

We had a bit of trouble with the dress as didn’t know what size I’d be after she was here so we went a few sizes up and I’m having it altered slightly. I offered to pay for this but my friend won’t hear of it

My husband is on baby duty for the day and he will take her out if she gets fussy. Tbh she sleeps pretty much alllll day anyway and only wakes for a feed every few hours. I’m combi feeding so makes it a little easier but I know roughly when she’ll be waiting for a feed so maybe dad can be near by with the baby so she can get ready.

I asked my friend if she was ok having our little girl there and she got mad at me for even suggesting I have her miss out. She’s already told me that her family are not getting a look in as she wants cuddles with her for most of the day and has asked the photographer to get photos of the two of them.

My friend doesn’t know it yet but I’m going to ask her while we’re there to be my daughters god mother I’ve been friends with her for over 15 years and we have been there for each other for the good and bad she was chief bridesmaid at my wedding 6 years ago. To us not having my little girl there would be weird for the pair of us

Lara · 25 July 2019 at 7:23AM

I think you have all your answers in these replies. You are really worrying about nothing. Keep your friendship with your best friend but please TALK TO HER and not behind her back. Maybe you have got more than you bargained for in these replies but people are trying to make you see you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. You’re thinking too much.

Carry on planning your wedding and be happy with your best friend there, whether in a leading role or simply as your guest- together with her first baby. Weddings are happy memories of families and friends.......plus their one month old babies! &#55357;&#56841;.

Good Luck. I hope you sort it out sooner rather than later otherwise that mountain will get bigger and bigger each day with you imagining all sorts totally unfounded.

Have a wonderful wedding in 9 months time!

IvyFlood · 31 July 2019 at 2:47PM

Hi all

Sorry for the delay in replying – I didn’t get any email notifications so assumed no one had replied!

I appreciate I may have come across as a bit insensitive which wasn’t my intention at all so I do apologise for that. I think it’s pretty obvious that I don’t have children myself nor have I much experience with them apart from my niece and nephew. When my sister had her second child, he was a nightmare and didn’t sleep at all! So I am only going off this but I do know every baby is different.

I should have mentioned that my friend does also have a first child who will be 2 when I get married. I am now thinking of inviting her even though I wanted a child free wedding but it makes sense if the baby is there too. My other bridesmaids children aren’t invited though so hopefully she will understand!

I have talked to her and given her the option but she is adamant that she still wants to be my bridesmaid but she says this now when she is feeling ok and isn’t running around after 2 children. I’m sure the parents that have commented here will know it’s a huge transition going from one to two children? I know it was extremely difficult for my sister and that was without having to be a bridesmaid. Of course I would be devastated but if it was the best decision for her then id accept it. I wouldn’t want her to be stressed tired and exhausted and worried about being my bridesmaid. But what I find difficult is I’d rather not be let down at the last minute and if I was going to be then I’d rather know now that she wasn’t going to be my bridesmaid – if that makes sense! I’d never ask her to step down though.

Regarding the dresses, I’ll just leave it till the very last minute and get her dress when she’s at her biggest. At least that way it can be taken in so it fits comfortably for breastfeeding.

I will admit I probably am overthinking and it probably happens more than you think! I’m sure it will all be fine but I definitely feel a lot more reassured after reading some of your comments which was the intention of the post, so thank you.

pelirocco · 31 July 2019 at 5:50PM

We had a fairly young baby at our wedding , child of my DH ex boss and a friend of his family . Did the baby cry? , have no idea and wouldn't have cared anyway , we had a cheap wedding , Church school hall , and around 118 guests , family , step family and friends ( lots of kids ) . it probably took in total 4 hours to plan , and we all had a very good time
Weddings these days seem to take years to plan , costs thousands and the downside of this people will get very upset if it doesn't all go to plan ....and there is always going to be something that goes wrong ...if you think the big day isnt going to be perfect , then god help you because the next 20 odd years is going to be very very challenging ( my theory you get to 20 years and couldnt really be arsed to start with someone new )

pelirocco · 31 July 2019 at 5:56PM

Bridesmaid = getting a to put on a fancy frock , walk down the aisle after the bride and smile for the photos

Really that's about it , it may be a really big day for you , but its just a day out for everyone else
As you have said she wont be there alone , her husband can look after the children
I am going to a weeding Saturday where my children and their children have been invited and will be made welcome ,.There will be a few bridesmaids one of them not even 2 , and another one is their dog
No doubt the horse will make an appearance . Its being held in field , no doubt we will have to fish the kids out of the water several times , its going to be great fun

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