elsien wrote: »
They agree supervision is needed but can't afford to provide it?
Complete cobblers. If it's in the safeguarding plan they don't have a choice. Tell them no, then they will have to make the relevant arrangements.
If you're going to keep letting them off the hook by agreeing to these arrangements, of course they're going to keep taking advantage. There does feel like a bit of an element here of you needing to be needed - sorry if that sounds hard, but that's how it's coming across.
Sorting out the contact arrangements isn't your problem unless you make it so.
Mooloo wrote: »
I assure you that I do not want to be needed.
If I could walk away I would. But my heart tells me that I need to try to keep these children happy, healthy and loved with in the family, and it's not about my needs at all.
My needs are to have a happy family life, my sewing cabin and my holiday home in Portugal one day.
My needs are to have a loving partner and be able to walk hand in hand along the beach at sunset and have someone to laugh and cry with.
Now if I can find that I would be happy.
beanielou wrote: »
I love popping bubble wrap!
hb2 wrote: »
I still wrap a piece up for my son at Christmas - and he's 33 now!
annandale wrote: »
What does your son give to your household in way of income? Is it zero? You’ve lost money from him coming to live with you. He’s in lots of debt.
Do I think you have done the right thing taking in your grandkids? Yes.
But. Your kids use you. Your son has money for weed. Alcohol. X box.
You wonder why your grand daughter is upset? Her life is chaotic. You do your best for everyone. But nothing changes.
It’s not needing to be needed. You and your kids are in some kind of a co dependent relationship.
Other people would have closed the purse long ago and let them get on with it. They are adults. Your daughter uses you as an unpaid babysitter. Your other daughters use you when they want cash.
And your son is what? 27?
Tell your son to find his own home. He needs to stand on his own two feet.
He’s got thousands of pounds of debt and he’s got cash for drink and drugs.
He’s a waste of space. Get rid. He’s treating you like a mug. All your kids are.
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