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Managing our finances - husband and wife

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Budgeting & Bank Accounts
36 replies 2.5K views
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  • HampshireHHampshireH Forumite
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    We have seperate accounts.

    Only I had 4 current accounts 2 savers and a fixed term raisin account. All with variable interest rates /rewards to my partners 1 current acc.

    So we have used one of those current reward accounts as our "joint" account for all household bills/mortgage etc we pay an amount in each to cover these monthly. We then have DDs or SO set up to pay off any other debts like the CC or into savings.

    Everything left over in our own accounts is ours to do as we please. We have jointly agreed our expenditure, rate of savings and repayments for big purchases. We budget together. Works for us and the other has no need to regularly check each others spending.

    I see a lot of posts questioning peoples relationships if they dont have joint accounts. But this works for us:)
  • Terry_TowellingTerry_Towelling Forumite
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    HampshireH wrote: »
    I see a lot of posts questioning people's relationships if they dont have joint accounts. But this works for us:)

    Yes, it is a common misconception that finances not fully integrated is a sign of a 'faulty' relationship - and sometimes it is, in which case it is possibly best to keep them separate - but it doesn't have to mean that at all. Whatever works for you, works for you.

    Our own arrangement (outlined a few posts ago) evolved that way because we had our own accounts before we met and we continued to do this until we could actually buy a place together. At that point, we thought that we should integrate our finances to cover expenditure and it never really occurred to either of us to abandon our own accounts at the same time.

    In fact, given the problems we see on this forum when accounts get frozen, it probably makes sense to keep separate identities as a contingency.

    Now that my wife has dementia, and I have Power of Attorney, I am actually required to keep some separation between our financial affairs but I don't see having a joint account for jointly-incurred expenditure as 'real' joint entanglement.
  • DigForVictoryDigForVictory Forumite
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    I know a couple who do not have a joint account as they have fundamentally different approaches & thus are happily agreed that he covers all one field & she covers another & that there is absolutely no financial link.

    They had to have two meetings with the tax inspector to explain this, but at the end, the inspector puttered off, apparently somewhat bemused at human nature & empty-handed.
  • arnoldyarnoldy Forumite
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    You are married, so everything into one account. if you want a small amount of money separate for presents etc just open a separate instant access card account each and transfer 50 per month in each. Why complicate it further?
  • ProbiProbi Forumite
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    Me and my wife get paid into our own accounts, we then move enough between us into our joint account to cover all Bill's and a bit extra for meals out etc

    We both transfer different amounts so that we are both left with the same amount of "fun" money, this way we know all joint expenditure is covered and what is left is ours to do whatever we wish with.
  • robatworkrobatwork Forumite
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    Probi wrote: »
    Me and my wife get paid into our own accounts, we then move enough between us into our joint account to cover all Bill's and a bit extra for meals out etc

    We both transfer different amounts so that we are both left with the same amount of "fun" money, this way we know all joint expenditure is covered and what is left is ours to do whatever we wish with.

    I'll just never get this way of thinking and managing a marriage.

    Your money is hers and hers is yours - that's what you agree to in a marriage contract.

    I can't help thinking people who need separate accounts feel they have something to hide, or are otherwise embarrassed by what they spend their "fun" money on. Or worse, there's a trust issue at the centre of the relationship.
  • HampshireHHampshireH Forumite
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    robatwork wrote: »
    I'll just never get this way of thinking and managing a marriage.

    Your money is hers and hers is yours - that's what you agree to in a marriage contract.

    I can't help thinking people who need separate accounts feel they have something to hide, or are otherwise embarrassed by what they spend their "fun" money on. Or worse, there's a trust issue at the centre of the relationship.

    Hence proving my previous post that some people on here perceive others to have poorer relationship if you don't have all money in one place.

    The trust comment works both ways. It could be seen that by having a joint account and no individual accounts a couple dont trust each other to manage their money independantly without the other keeping tabs.

    Neither are right or wrong & neither show a stronger relationship than the other in my opinion. Its personal choice & what works for that couple.:)
  • Zero_SumZero_Sum Forumite
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    robatwork wrote: »
    I'll just never get this way of thinking and managing a marriage.

    Your money is hers and hers is yours - that's what you agree to in a marriage contract.

    I can't help thinking people who need separate accounts feel they have something to hide, or are otherwise embarrassed by what they spend their "fun" money on. Or worse, there's a trust issue at the centre of the relationship.

    What happens if one side is hopeless at managing their finances & has previous for financial irresponsibility. And the other is really good & plays the game with the banks to maximise returns which the other side doesnt understand.
  • robatworkrobatwork Forumite
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    Zero_Sum wrote: »
    What happens if one side is hopeless at managing their finances & has previous for financial irresponsibility. And the other is really good & plays the game with the banks to maximise returns which the other side doesnt understand.

    What if one side is hopeless at housework and has previous for slovenly behaviour? And the other keeps the house in tip-top condition. Would you suggest separate houses....or that they work together on each other's problems?
  • Terry_TowellingTerry_Towelling Forumite
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    robatwork wrote: »
    I'll just never get this way of thinking and managing a marriage.

    Your money is hers and hers is yours - that's what you agree to in a marriage contract.

    I can't help thinking people who need separate accounts feel they have something to hide, or are otherwise embarrassed by what they spend their "fun" money on. Or worse, there's a trust issue at the centre of the relationship.

    You need to change the way you think, then. Separate individual accounts doesn't mean 'no trust' (it might do, but it doesn't always follow) it just means that's the way some people do it.

    The key is indeed the relationship; do you trust each other or do you feel the need to conceal things. Before dementia, trust in our marriage was never questioned and nothing was concealed but we held separate accounts and a joint one for all joint expenditure. What was left in our own accounts was not concealed in any way.

    In fact, it is probably far easier to do things that way than to pay everything into one account. If everything is in one account, there are going to have to be consultations about whether there is enough available for me to blow some on my gambling, drugs and porn addictions and still cover the bills.:)
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