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My journey to a debt free life

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Debt Free Diaries
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  • CherryfudgeCherryfudge Forumite
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    I'm sure the sleep and the walks and the animals are all excellent therapy. :) It's also free Vitamin D time, so stock up while the sun shines.

    Really hope you and DD have now seen the worst of it and things look better soon. x
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  • arsenalbarniearsenalbarnie Forumite
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    Glad to see you back posting OBL. How horrible for you to be feeling like this. It has made me wonder if a couple of tearful episodes I have had lately are menopause related. I have had to have my m*rena coil removed and since then have been really quite low at times, emotional (I thought the first outburst was due to a couple of gins), and have been doing a bit of emotional spending. I bought a flipping bread maker the other day. I used to do this when I had pmt. I will look into the herb you mentioned. If there are any books you can recommend I would be grateful.

    So it’s either pmt I think, or peri menopause. The coil has been great in masking all theses symptoms for the past 6 years.

    I hope you will be feeling better soon x
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  • ChrystalChrystal Forumite
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    Hi OBL
    I can totally empathise with the feelings you have. I was 'pushed' into menopause in my early 40s by having to have an hysterectomy and wasn't allowed HRT as the op was because of cancer. I felt as though I'd been sent to hell! This is nearly 30 years ago and I would have hoped that the powers that be would have had some solutions to it by now - if men suffered it I'm sure that they would have.:(
    Unfortunately I can't offer any advice for dealing with it other than to say that it does eventually pass. I did take anti depressants and think they helped a bit. If the ones you've been on don't agree with you there are loads of others that the Dr could try you on. It's not easy but continue with the meditation, walks and keep telling yourself that 'this too will pass' ((((hugs)))) XX
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  • OnebrokeladyOnebrokelady Forumite
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    Animals always know when you're feeling low and try to give comfort. When I had cats as a child they were always rubbing around my ankles or headbutting me when I was feeling down. They're so sweet and giving :).

    They certainly do don't they,I feel bad though because I read an article the other day that said our mood affects the mood of our dogs,if we are feeling low they will too😟so now im worried I'm making the dog depressed 😟
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = £17,630 Paid To Date = £2,825 Total Now Owed = £14,805
    Emergency Fund = £1000 Xmas savings = £200
    General savings = £200
  • OnebrokeladyOnebrokelady Forumite
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    I'm sure the sleep and the walks and the animals are all excellent therapy. :) It's also free Vitamin D time, so stock up while the sun shines.

    Really hope you and DD have now seen the worst of it and things look better soon. x

    I've been fully making use off the free vit D at the moment,today has been a scorcher :)
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = £17,630 Paid To Date = £2,825 Total Now Owed = £14,805
    Emergency Fund = £1000 Xmas savings = £200
    General savings = £200
  • OnebrokeladyOnebrokelady Forumite
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    Glad to see you back posting OBL. How horrible for you to be feeling like this. It has made me wonder if a couple of tearful episodes I have had lately are menopause related. I have had to have my m*rena coil removed and since then have been really quite low at times, emotional (I thought the first outburst was due to a couple of gins), and have been doing a bit of emotional spending. I bought a flipping bread maker the other day. I used to do this when I had pmt. I will look into the herb you mentioned. If there are any books you can recommend I would be grateful.

    So it’s either pmt I think, or peri menopause. The coil has been great in masking all theses symptoms for the past 6 years.

    I hope you will be feeling better soon x

    More than likely is the case Ab, I have had the urge to spend but so far have managed to only buy things I need and was going to buy anyway, do you need a bread maker and if not can you take it back,I used to shop when I had PMT it was a nightmare

    The book I've just read was called Is It Me Or Is It Hot In Here by Jenny Murray,I've had it for a few years so it might not be the most up to date book out there but it's full of good advice and has helped me feel a bit more positive about things.my GP pointed me in the direction of the Menopause Matters site and forum and that's quite good for advice from people who are actually going through it
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = £17,630 Paid To Date = £2,825 Total Now Owed = £14,805
    Emergency Fund = £1000 Xmas savings = £200
    General savings = £200
  • OnebrokeladyOnebrokelady Forumite
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    Chrystal wrote: »
    Hi OBL
    I can totally empathise with the feelings you have. I was 'pushed' into menopause in my early 40s by having to have an hysterectomy and wasn't allowed HRT as the op was because of cancer. I felt as though I'd been sent to hell! This is nearly 30 years ago and I would have hoped that the powers that be would have had some solutions to it by now - if men suffered it I'm sure that they would have.:(
    Unfortunately I can't offer any advice for dealing with it other than to say that it does eventually pass. I did take anti depressants and think they helped a bit. If the ones you've been on don't agree with you there are loads of others that the Dr could try you on. It's not easy but continue with the meditation, walks and keep telling yourself that 'this too will pass' ((((hugs)))) XX

    Yep if men had to go through this there would be loads of help available, funny you should mention the saying This too shall Pass,I've just adopted it as my mantra for working with the chronic pain,I'm thinking of having it tattooed backwards on my forehead so whenever I look in the mirror I see it:rotfl:
    The less brave version of me is currently looking for a nice cross stitch of the saying but I can't find one I like,I might have to have a go at designing my own
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = £17,630 Paid To Date = £2,825 Total Now Owed = £14,805
    Emergency Fund = £1000 Xmas savings = £200
    General savings = £200
  • OnebrokeladyOnebrokelady Forumite
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    I've just been out for the day with my eldest DD and although we had a nice day it was a bit stressful, she keeps going onto me about my house and if I've thought about my living arrangements for when I retire,I only own half my house so when I retire I will still have to pay rent on the other half, she thinks I should sell it now and buy something smaller with a small mortgage, the only problem is I wouldn't get a mortgage now because of my credit rating due to being in a DMP,she doesn't know about my debt though so can't see the problem
    She is actually being very sensible but I don't know how to get round it I only owe £15,000 on my mortgage now and bought this house really cheaply back in the early 90s,it was £49,500 back then and is now worth about £220,000 I would get half of any profit split with the housing society who own the other half,this would not be enough to buy another property without a small mortgage but I would have a big deposit

    I managed to fob her off but she is going to keep on about it unless I come up with a sensible reason not to do it, this house is not practical for me to live in as its at the top of a massive hill, has loads of steps up to it,is slightly to big and has a large garden I won't be able to manage when I'm older,I would love to move to somewhere flat with a small garden but the prices are ridiculous
    Maybe I should just investigate it so I know exactly what I'm dealing with,it's just extra stress I could do without really

    I also introduced into the conversation that I haven't been feeling too good mentally and she just didn't say anything, we were in the car so weren't sitting chatting but she literally didn't comment,she just started talking about a car driver who cut her up and then it was forgotten,I don't expect her to do anything but some verbal support would be nice,she just started going on about how she hopes she feels ok when she goes through the menopause
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = £17,630 Paid To Date = £2,825 Total Now Owed = £14,805
    Emergency Fund = £1000 Xmas savings = £200
    General savings = £200
  • foxglovesfoxgloves Forumite
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    Hi OBL,
    Sorry to hear you are having a bad time with the menopause. It's an odd time, isn't it, in that some people sail through it & others have a lot of problems. I'm not sure I can help. We are a similar age - I had my last Monthly Present three months before my 52nd birthday & being now three years on from that, I have to say I've not really been suffering any symptoms. We're all different, aren't we? My awful time was the perimenopause. My forties were a monthly struggle with hormonal migraines, overwhelming bouts of tiredness, PMS in which I would feel detached from reality & general faintness & yuk as soon as the damn thing started. I talked to my Mum about the menopause & she said she had some nights where she felt 'a bit hot' but that she hadn't experienced any other issues.
    I have had the very occasional hot flush, but very mild, with no visible reddening, & you know, I've noticed that these definitely follow a large junky meal with alcohol. I eat quite a lot of fruit & veg, pulses, nuts, avocado, wholegrain, etc, & I'm guessing this is helpful for hormone balance. I am also capable of falling spectacularly off the dietary wagon & indulging myself on foods which are bad for me & I'm more likely to feel a bit 'flushy' & generally wobbly then, but the latter is probably blood sugar, as I do always need to eat a sensible snack mid-morning & mid-afternoon to keep that nice & even. I've never tested positive for diabetes, but if my blood sugar dips too low, I start to get symptoms which are similar to anxiety, so that's maybe worth trying?
    Anyway, I was sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Re your daughter's questions about your house, perhaps you could just say something like "I'm aware that I'll need to make some decisions, but I don't feel I want to talk about it at the moment" & just repeat this more firmly if the subject is raised again. You don't want to be bounced into anything.
    Sending positive vibes,
    F xx
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  • OnebrokeladyOnebrokelady Forumite
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    foxgloves wrote: »
    Hi OBL,
    Sorry to hear you are having a bad time with the menopause. It's an odd time, isn't it, in that some people sail through it & others have a lot of problems. I'm not sure I can help. We are a similar age - I had my last Monthly Present three months before my 52nd birthday & being now three years on from that, I have to say I've not really been suffering any symptoms. We're all different, aren't we? My awful time was the perimenopause. My forties were a monthly struggle with hormonal migraines, overwhelming bouts of tiredness, PMS in which I would feel detached from reality & general faintness & yuk as soon as the damn thing started. I talked to my Mum about the menopause & she said she had some nights where she felt 'a bit hot' but that she hadn't experienced any other issues.
    I have had the very occasional hot flush, but very mild, with no visible reddening, & you know, I've noticed that these definitely follow a large junky meal with alcohol. I eat quite a lot of fruit & veg, pulses, nuts, avocado, wholegrain, etc, & I'm guessing this is helpful for hormone balance. I am also capable of falling spectacularly off the dietary wagon & indulging myself on foods which are bad for me & I'm more likely to feel a bit 'flushy' & generally wobbly then, but the latter is probably blood sugar, as I do always need to eat a sensible snack mid-morning & mid-afternoon to keep that nice & even. I've never tested positive for diabetes, but if my blood sugar dips too low, I start to get symptoms which are similar to anxiety, so that's maybe worth trying?
    Anyway, I was sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Re your daughter's questions about your house, perhaps you could just say something like "I'm aware that I'll need to make some decisions, but I don't feel I want to talk about it at the moment" & just repeat this more firmly if the subject is raised again. You don't want to be bounced into anything.
    Sending positive vibes,
    F xx
    Hi Foxgloves, it's definitely interesting :eek: I had my latest period 4 months ago but it was very light so I'm tempted not to count it, it would have been a year if I had made it to March,I'm 56 on the 2nd of June and hoping it will stop soon:D

    I have to admit my diet is rubbish at the moment and I really need to sort it out, perhaps this will give me the kick up the bum I need,when I was having periods properly I used to have raging PMT so I suppose the menopause was destined to be a pain in the butt,I was thinking I would sail through it as I actually see it as a really positive event in a woman's life,I never expected to feel so down about it,I'm now thinking it's a combination of not being in tip top health anyway the menopause and not being that happy with my job which I know I can't leave,I sure I will get through this and posting on here will help

    I need to get on with the things that need doing in my house and get back into doing my hobbies instead of wasting time online, eat some healthy food and reframe my attitude to my job,I get so worked up before a shift and I don't know why,I quite like what I do,I work with good people and although it can be extremely stressful I can normally cope with that, but at the moment I just want to curl up and hibernate........it's summer for gods sake.......I can't be hibernating now ,I don't feel tired as such but I have no enthusiasm for anything ,I just can't be bothered at all to even make a start on any of the things I want to do let alone need to do,maybe I just need to force myself and my enthusiasm will come back

    I've just done an online valuation for my house and it came up as £250,000 according to the Land Registry and £205,000 according to a local estate agent,I then went and looked at properties and even with that I can't afford anything here, that is apart from a rather nice little parkhome on a nearby site near a little town that I love, you can't get a mortgage to buy them so it would have to be cash though,it does ties in with my tiny house vision though :rotfl:
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = £17,630 Paid To Date = £2,825 Total Now Owed = £14,805
    Emergency Fund = £1000 Xmas savings = £200
    General savings = £200
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