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Working parents..? bedtimes, dinner, making of packed lunches and still have free time?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
45 replies 6.3K views
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  • Grezz24Grezz24 Forumite
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    svain wrote: »
    Not sure you should be comparing as you get more holiday/baker days/teacher training days/days off .. than politicians and you finish at 3.30pm :rotfl:

    My wife is a teacher, and while she 'finishes' at 3:30PM there is several hours a day and at weekend spent planning and marking work.

    I too had the false view that teachers had it easier until i saw what it was really like due to all the extra hours they are expected to do, for free.
  • TakmonTakmon Forumite
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    Bexm wrote: »
    Hi

    I am looking for suggestions of what other people do as trying to work out how to have some free time in the evenings which I currently rarely have as seem to have too much to do.

    Currently work part time but on days I work hours are 9-5, due to child care drop off and pick up, this means leaving the house at 8 and returning at 6ish.
    Kids eat at child care so current evening routine is:

    Kids home (age 1 and 6)
    Quick cuppa or straight to bath depending if its bath night.
    Get kids ready for bed, stories etc
    Hubby gets home just before bed time
    Start getting Kids In bed at 7 and left in bed by 7.30ish (hopefully! :D )

    Then..
    Me and hubby get out of work clothes and changed
    Sort night time bottles
    Make dinner
    Make 3 packed lunches for following day
    Usually sitting down to eat 8:30 - 9
    Bed at 10ish

    How do other working parents coordinate everything and still have some free time as we seem to have got out selves in an endless loop?

    I can't really see a problem with any of that really, you manage to get the kids to bed at 7:30 (which seems a good time to me) and then only have dinner to make and a few other things to do each evening. Then you manage to go bed at a time i would say is early, but i know some people need more sleep than others.

    You then also say you work part time so this isn't even every day of the week. So you must get a lot more time to yourself on your days off.
    So to me it sounds like your doing pretty good and the only real way to get a lot more time is to get rid of the kids :rotfl:
  • It will get worse before it gets better (for some). The next stage is dropping and picking them from various clubs/activities. And then they become teenagers and it's a whole another level or stress.

    This is one of the key reasons couples start drifting off. Weekends would again revolve around kids leaving no time to yourself/as a couple.

    In hindsight, shouldn't have had kids, but it's too late now
  • lisyloolisyloo Forumite
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    Kynthia wrote: »
    So you just wanted to judge the OP instead of empathise or give any tips?

    Sometimes changing your attitude can be helpful and gratitude is recognised as a useful practice.

    I am not saying the OP need to change their attitude in this case, but practising gratitude generally is actually a helpful tip.
  • Greta_SharboGreta_Sharbo Forumite
    349 posts
    I come at this from no frame of reference (I dont have kids) but sounds to me like you've got it pretty well sorted out.
  • edited 17 May 2019 at 1:38PM
    thriftylassthriftylass Forumite
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    edited 17 May 2019 at 1:38PM
    It will get worse before it gets better (for some). The next stage is dropping and picking them from various clubs/activities.

    For that reason we only use clubs that happen in school during after school club hours. No extra running around.

    OP, it'll get easier once the little one is older. Mine are 5 and 8 now and they sleep till 7:10 when I wake them. So I get up at 6 and have a whole hour of me time first thing. We leave at 8 and are back at 5:30. It's either an easy dinner for all (like spaghetti Bol) or easy dinner for the kids and fancy /spicy for us later when they're in bed (after 8). Then I get another 30-60 min to do chores, get things ready, do extra bit that need done and sit down to chill from 9-10.

    I also agree with batch cook your lunches, use the slow cooker etc. and change your priorities. My wooden blinds will not get dusted every week but essentials like the bathroom and changing the linens get done if you get the idea. And as you said you work part time, what do you do on your days off, do you have the little one?

    Also what do you mean by free time in the evening? What would you like to do? In the summer I try to get out in the garden for half an hour 3 times a week, sth like that?
    NST
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  • edited 17 May 2019 at 7:44PM
    Fire_FoxFire_Fox Forumite
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    edited 17 May 2019 at 7:44PM
    svain wrote: »
    Because "me time" IS as important as family time/quality time with the little ones.

    I think you have misinterpreted what I said, or we are reading the first post very differently. My post below, emboldened for clarity. Having reread the first post, I stand by it.

    The OP was complaining about not having me-time in the evenings, on work days. They work part-time so this problem is not a five or six day a week issue.

    The children are home at 6pm, "hopefully" in bed by 7.30pm. There was no complaint about limited family time/ limited quality time with the little ones. Only about the dullsville routine afterwards.
    Fire_Fox wrote: »
    Why would you expect to have daily me-time when you have a completely dependent infant? Why is me-time more important than family time/ quality time with your little ones?

    In all seriousness: downsize your life, hire a nanny, or count your blessings.
    Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
  • onwards&upwardsonwards&upwards Forumite
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    For that reason we only use clubs that happen in school during after school club hours. No extra running around.


    Are you not worried they’ll miss out? No cubs or brownies, no swimming lessons, no dancing or drama or bands or sports that aren’t done in school?
  • svainsvain Forumite
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    Are you not worried they’ll miss out? No cubs or brownies, no swimming lessons, no dancing or drama or bands or sports that aren’t done in school?

    All these after school clubs are a modern phenomenon .... Kids do perfectly well without having all there spare time micro managed by activities
  • onwards&upwardsonwards&upwards Forumite
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    svain wrote: »
    All these after school clubs are a modern phenomenon .... Kids do perfectly well without having all there spare time micro managed by activities

    Well yeah they survive, but loads of kids really enjoy them, just seems a shame to completely rule them all out.
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