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Drowning in huge monthly payments advise please

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Debt-Free Wannabe
42 replies 10K views
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  • bunnymtgbunnymtg Forumite
    53 posts
    Dobbibill wrote: »
    Car insurance really should be accounted for on a monthly basis. If this was the month the insurance was due you wouldn't have enough funds for it so you have to ask yourself where did the money come from.

    As other's have said, you have a few options


    1 - Enter a DMP either with Stepchange, National Debtline, another debt charity or self managed. (This will give you the instant relief but will impact your credit report/future mortgage applications.)


    2 - Struggle on as you are, keeping the repayments going until you get the settlement. (This will continue to show payments up to date on your credit report will not be as bad for a future mortgage application as option1)

    3 - Get a 2nd job/do overtime to throw every penny at the debt. (This is not always an easy solution as a single parent with childcare - only you will know if this is possible)

    You need to consider your options carefully as instant relief may cause more damage longer term. What happens if you don't get the settlement in September? If it's delayed in any way, would it impact your decision making?

    All the best.

    Thank you Dobbibill.

    1. Sounds great short term but I could potentially end up with 6 defaults and no mortgage lender would lend on 6 withing 18 months of them being issued.

    2. Seems like the only option but I am robbing Peter to pay Paul. Just had to pay my rent with my cc this month due to an unexpected hefty car maintenance issue.

    3.Would love to do this, I really would. But I would be worse off financially as I can only work up to 16 hours a week.

    If I don't get my settlement in Sept I will have to go on a DMP. I cant carry on. I've been in tears at work all day! My boss has tried to send me home. Ironic thing is I cant afford to go home as I wont get paid!!
  • poppasmurf_bewdleypoppasmurf_bewdley Forumite
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    Is there no possibility of getting an interim payment from your ex?

    It's not the same thing, but following my mother's death, my son was able to get an interim payment from the estate via the solicitor to cover an emergency which cropped up.
    "There are not enough superlatives in the English language to describe a 'Princess Coronation' locomotive in full cry. We shall never see their like again". O S Nock
  • bunnymtgbunnymtg Forumite
    53 posts
    Is there no possibility of getting an interim payment from your ex?

    It's not the same thing, but following my mother's death, my son was able to get an interim payment from the estate via the solicitor to cover an emergency which cropped up.

    I have begged and pleaded with him but he just keeps saying no.
    He is a narcissistic horrible person and just uses the line " no you will have to wait like everyone else does. You shouldn't have racked up so much debt". Makes me so angry. I am in debt because of him!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • poppasmurf_bewdleypoppasmurf_bewdley Forumite
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    bunnymtg wrote: »
    I have begged and pleaded with him but he just keeps saying no.
    He is a narcissistic horrible person and just uses the line " no you will have to wait like everyone else does. You shouldn't have racked up so much debt". Makes me so angry. I am in debt because of him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Is it not possible to go to court to ask for an interim payment? Maybe ask your solicitor or Citizens Advice about whether this is possible.
    "There are not enough superlatives in the English language to describe a 'Princess Coronation' locomotive in full cry. We shall never see their like again". O S Nock
  • bunnymtgbunnymtg Forumite
    53 posts
    Is it not possible to go to court to ask for an interim payment? Maybe ask your solicitor or Citizens Advice about whether this is possible.

    I have massively delved into this already. I can get a separation agreement but because its not legally binding, he wont do it. He is so controlling and loves the fact I am suffering so much even though I am the mother of his child. It kills me that I cannot provide for her in the way I want to, in the sense that I am watching every penny and have to say no to everything.

    His mother is giving him the settlement money and according to him it is sat in his account waiting to be paid out (his way of making it even worse for me) I am so tempted to just bypass him and ask her for it. But that will make him angry and he could really stir up trouble for me and the whole divorce process.
  • MovingForwardsMovingForwards Forumite
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    As you are looking to buy a house next year with your partner (as per your post on another thread), can your partner not help you with a bit of money each month until you get your settlement from your husband?

    I assume your partner knows you're struggling and if not you should speak about it as if you're committed to getting a property together you should be committed to help one another at times like this.
  • bunnymtgbunnymtg Forumite
    53 posts
    As you are looking to buy a house next year with your partner (as per your post on another thread), can your partner not help you with a bit of money each month until you get your settlement from your husband?

    I assume your partner knows you're struggling and if not you should speak about it as if you're committed to getting a property together you should be committed to help one another at times like this.

    He is fully aware as of today. But just says sorry and that he loves me.Pretty lame really.!But then it’s also my problem not his.
  • zippygeorgeandbenzippygeorgeandben Forumite
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    I just wanted to say that even though MSE isn't face to face, you're getting some excellent advice here and support. Look at us as your sounding off board. I don't know what your solution is but, and I know it's hard but you can't change what has happened. Try not to dwindle on the past.
    Regarding childcare, can any other parents pick up? Bring her in?, Have you formed any bonds? Have you contacted any support groups?
    Keep messaging us!
    Savings as of July 2020
    Savings account 1 - £15597.36(14081.15)Savings account 2 - £5000(4500.00)
    Current account - £2015.64(4116.53)
    Total - £22613.00 (22697.68)
    Plus £840 (£120 per month between CS/BS) HTB £800
  • humptydumptybitshumptydumptybits Forumite
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    Can you ask your mobile phone provider to go on a cheaper package, could be on a temporary basis? Even an extra £40 a month would make things easier. If you are definitely getting the money in September do you need to put money away for presents, can you manage without haircuts? I don't think there is a big saving in there, it is just finding enough bits to get you through. I know it is hard but it isn't forever.



    Have you anything you can sell? Again it might only be bits but bits can add up. I sold my engagement ring once when I desperately needed something for the children, I haven't missed it.


    Good luck, roll on September.
  • edited 17 May 2019 at 8:57AM
    enthusiasticsaverenthusiasticsaver Forumite, Board Guide
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    edited 17 May 2019 at 8:57AM
    I understand your desire to buy another property so presumably needing another mortgage but you have a high rent so I assume properties are expensive in your area. Are you sure this will be feasible even with your settlement? I would also say your current partner does not sound supportive so maybe not rushing into any new joint arrangements would be sensible. Do you live together?

    I would concentrate on living within budget and ask your creditors to wait until September and just pay nominals. Rushing into another heavy financial commitment before you have sorted this out would be very unwise.
    Early retired in December 2017

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to [email protected]
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