Barking mad relatives!
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A simple,polite and above all short, e-mail will do it.
"Sorry, we can't help her at the moment, if that changes we will be in touch."
when the inevitable why not e-mail comes,
"We're not in a position to help sorry"
and continue with variations on the same theme till they get the message. You don't need to explain, and the sorry is only there for politeness sake
The second one only. Saying 'not at the moment' implies that you may be able to accommodate wee lass at some point in the future, so you'd be leaving yourself open to regular 'is now ok?' enquiries. By which time it could even be wee lass plus 2 babies !
"Dear Auntie and wee lass,
Thanks for your email dated xxxxx.
We won't be helping with wee lasses plans, but wish her all the best for the future plans".
Note the use of 'won't' and not 'can't' - won't shows that you've considered it and made a conscious decision NOT to help - can't suggests a problem in the way (such as a lodger) and that there might therefore still be a way to make it a possibility.
I'm tempted to say that you should then reply to any further emails with an 'out of office' reply and give yourself a weeks peace and quiet.
And remember, no end of sh*t via messages and emails is far preferable to an unwanted lodger and more than likely, her mother not long afterwards.
How hard can it be to say 'no'?
It depends on the family - saying 'no' is easy; coping the repercussions may not be.
Whatever you write if it isn't a clear and straightforward no, the door will remain open.
If you're trying to think of reasons to say 'can't' rather than 'won't' the only reason that they might struggle to mitigate is financial as clearly they're on the scrounge.
'Sorry auntie but financial reasons mean we cannot even consider helping with the plan but do wish niece well'
Not that I actually think you should make personal disclosures to these people but its pretty obvious you aren't just going to say 'no and get lost'.
But procrastinating isn't going to make things any better and it isn't going to make it any easier to say 'no'.
And from what I've read about the OP's family, it's quite likely she'll have repercussions anyway - probably from a number of directions - so she might as well send the rejection message and get it over with.
Unless she intends to allow herself to be walked all over by her family and take this girl and baby in, she's going to have to say 'no' in some form or another.
And really the OP does not have to give any explanation. Just say can't help and that is the end of it.
I get its hard when families are concerned and you don't want to upset people. But the Aunt seem to have no idea what the word no means and does not care who she puts out with her demands.
I think the aunt and the young woman is very much deluded about the whole idea what she can succeed in modelling. Its a tough business, long hours and lots rejection and she has a young baby!!!! Also its not just about being pretty, its a lot about being slightly different in your looks.
As I said before just say I can't help you out. And that is your final answer and you will no longer be discussing it any further.
Yours
Calley x
Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz
If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin