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Single, six kids and going to be debt free!

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Debt Free Diaries
1.1K replies 118.3K views
17980828485112

Replies

  • SpendlessSpendless Forumite
    21.4K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
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    Sorry to hear situation re ex. I remember a friend complaining about same and her solicitor telling her there was no legislation to insist that a parent saw their child/ren more or at all. It's not fair on the resident parent who doesn't get the 'opt out of parenting' button.

    In an earlier post you mentioned paying for your older DD's GCSE to be re-marked. If you haven't already done this, I'm going to ask if you need to? Sure it's nice to know you got the top grade, but with a couple of exceptions, studying medicine being one of them, GCSE grades become largely unimportant in the scale of things. They're needed to get onto the next step in most areas, but when it comes to applying to Uni, it's the A levels or equiv that matter. My son did quite well with GCSEs (absolutely fabulous if you take into account he didn't revise!). He then did poorly at his FE college (having a disorganised child at a disorganised college wasn't a good combo, something I told him at the beginning) and as a consequence he's now on a foundation year, so yes he's at Uni on his chosen course still but it will take him a year longer. This is what I mean about GCSE results not always mattering. If you haven't forked out already and it's 'just' to have a better grade then save yourself the cash and use for something else. :)
  • MumoffourkidsMumoffourkids Forumite
    1K posts
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    Hi Spendless,

    Yes it is annoying but you are right, there is nothing I can do about making a parent see their children. If that is what he wants, then so be it. The kids will hopefully realise that it was me that did everything for them.

    Unfortunately, I have already paid out for two paper remarks. One was for my daughter's English Language paper as she felt although she passed, she would have quite liked the next grade up. Her mark didn't change though. Then I got one of Spanish papers remarked. Her mark went up by 3 points but she needed 4 to get the next grade up. If the grades had changed, then the fees would have been refunded but alas not this time. I do get what you are saying about not bothering but it was something she really wanted and I was happy to try for her. I almost covered it last month and will just make the rest up this month.
    Emergency fund £257.38/£1000
  • ToomuchdebtToomuchdebt Forumite
    2.1K posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
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    I've read your entire diary in 2 days and just wanted to say you're doing so well!! I have 6 kids also and am a single parent but I feel like a total failure compared to you.
    Debts Jan 2014 £20,108.34 :eek:

    EF #70 £0/£1000

    SW 1st 4lbs
  • apple_muncherapple_muncher Forumite
    11K posts
    10,000 Posts Sixth Anniversary Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
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    No one who has 6 kids and is raising them on their own is ever a failure x
    NST October#; NSD ; Ex ; bagfuls (61)

    Mortgage £500? ish (01/14: £78,201; 01/15: £59,629; 01/16: 39,915; 01/17: 27,295; 01/18 23,143; 01/19: 18.275) MFWDate: very soonish
  • MumoffourkidsMumoffourkids Forumite
    1K posts
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    I've read your entire diary in 2 days and just wanted to say you're doing so well!! I have 6 kids also and am a single parent but I feel like a total failure compared to you.

    Firstly thank you for reading my entire diary!! And no don't feel like a failure. I just get very focused and nothing can stop me once I set my mind on something.
    No one who has 6 kids and is raising them on their own is ever a failure x

    Exactly anyone who is bringing up kids whether they are on their own or not or have 1 child or 10 children is not a failure! We all have our strengths and we all have our weaknesses.

    I do get very stressed sometimes and sometimes I feel like everything is getting on top of me and that I can't cope but I think everyone feels that way sometimes and it is normal to feel that way!
    Emergency fund £257.38/£1000
  • Important update! We have recently reviewed and updated our Forum Rules and FAQs. Please take the time to familiarise yourself with the latest version.
  • MumoffourkidsMumoffourkids Forumite
    1K posts
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    So firstly update on the extra income so far this month.

    Extra income £108.24/£394.45 27.44%

    The extra has come from saving £20 off my weekly petrol bill. The only good thing to come of the ex husband not seeing the kids and having no rugby matches to go to this weekend!

    In addition, I have around £70 in profit in matched betting in process of being withdrawn so that will up the extra income a bit.

    Now that the money side is out of the way, tonight I am feeling really lonely. I only really have one close friend where I live and I have just noticed a post on facebook where she is going out with some others who I thought were my friends as we have been out before, but since the kids moved schools, they seem to have just deleted me out of their lives. It's like because my kids don't go to the same school anymore, I am not relevant.

    I don't want to go out every weekend but it would be nice to go out once in a while. At the moment I feel old and frumpy as I have definitely put some weight on over the summer. Weight that I had lost in the few months leading up to the summer. And I probably would be so self conscious if I did go out that I probably wouldn't enjoy myself anyway.

    Not sure why I posted but it feels good to get it out of my system and I don't expect anyone to reply. Just wanted to have a bit of a moan and a bit of self pity!

    Right off to bed for me and then hopefully taking the kids out to the local woods tomorrow for a walk to get some exercise!
    Emergency fund £257.38/£1000
  • beanieloubeanielou Forumite
    73.1K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
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    Having a moan is ok.
    I too feel lonely sometimes.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~**
    **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **
    MFW. 9 months to go. B)
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
  • NeverendingDMPNeverendingDMP Forumite
    625 posts
    500 Posts Second Anniversary
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    Just wanted to say well done. Its been a month or two since I last looked on your dairy and I am purposely posting this before I read the pages I missed. The money you have paid off is unreal. You are truly showing that even though things can get people in a pickle there is a way out. Its a wow/I'm so envious response. Ha ha. . I will now read the missing pages I haven't seen. I hope all has been as well as can be although I see the ex is beings pain.. boo
    35,213 - Jan 2018, 18121 remaining.
    Mortgage Jan 2018 =77224, 70284 remaining
    EF = 1040.
  • TreadingonplaymobilTreadingonplaymobil Forumite
    1.9K posts
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    I'm sorry you're feeling a bit blue about being lonely, and your ex being a disaster area. You are doing so amazingly. I cannot get my head round double the number of people to manage (I have three DC) and am filled with admiration that you manage it at all, never mind with all the extra baggage.

    I know what you mean about being out of sight, out of mind, with your friends. Maybe mention to your one close friend that you'd love to go out more and see if something grows from it. And if not, perhaps you can find a way to meet more people and expand the social pool a bit (easier said than done, I know. Maybe a group or something)
    Trying to figure out a whole new life. Trying to figure out a whole new budget.
    Divorcing, unclear on final debt total right now, but focusing on building a financial buffer zone.
  • f0xh0lesf0xh0les Forumite
    3.7K posts
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    It is that time of year, it is starting to get darker, earlier, and when you are at home with kids, it is the time to start feeling everyone else is 'out there' and you are 'stuck' at home.

    Get out in the woods and run about a bit. While they are at home nursing their heads, yours will be clear. It was thoughtless of them not to invite you though.
    They might have thought that with the X not seeing the kids you would not be able to get a sitter at short notice (that is me being kind!).

    Keep away from F4kebook. It is evil.
    MFW#65 Sept 20 = £89,999.99 Under £90 k!
    E/F £14,000 + K/F £2,100
    NSTurtle # 6🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢 but I still need a new roof.
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