Being pressured to contribute towards fence

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  • DavesnaveDavesnave Forumite
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    _shel wrote: »
    Tell him it was his choice to replace the fence with no discussion or agreement from you to contribute. So you won't be paying.
    Not really correct. The OP offered to contribute, but didn't specify how much or when. They then received a request for £368, which the neighbour deemed to be their share of the cost.

    None of us knows what % of the total cost that was, but clearly if the neighbour didn't consult on type of fence etc etc they can't reasonably expect a 50:50 deal.

    If it were me, and in view of developments since, I'd maybe offer to give the other party a 20- 25% contribution, provided they desisted from posting stuff on my employer's Facebook page. Unfortunately, they'd now have to wait 6 months to prove good intent in that regard, as their attempts at harrassment have destroyed trust.

    That would give the OP time to save the money and show some acceptance of their folly in entering an agreement without limitations, other than "when I have the money." We all know that we never have the money!
  • pinkshoespinkshoes Forumite
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    I would write him a letter saying that you stated that you might be willing to contribute when you could afford it.

    Say that unfortunately, as he failed to discuss costs and fence types with you, and has selected something you would not have chosen, then you are not willing to contribute to this particular fence, but should he wish to change the style and get some quotes, then you might be interested in contributing.

    Is it an ugly fence???
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
  • DoozergirlDoozergirl Forumite
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    pinkshoes wrote: »
    I would write him a letter saying that you stated that you might be willing to contribute when you could afford it.

    Say that unfortunately, as he failed to discuss costs and fence types with you, and has selected something you would not have chosen, then you are not willing to contribute to this particular fence, but should he wish to change the style and get some quotes, then you might be interested in contributing.

    Is it an ugly fence???

    That's a lie and it's deliberately antagonistic. There's nothing wrong with the truth.

    I think davesnave is reasonable. I'd set out how much I was willing to pay and when, whether it be small installments or a lump.
    Everything that is supposed to be in heaven is already here on earth.
  • Norman_CastleNorman_Castle Forumite
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    gazfocus wrote: »

    My question is, where do I stand legally?


    I appreciate it’s between both our gardens and I’ve never said I don’t want to contribute, but he is obviously disappointed that I can’t afford it and has now taken to messaging my works Facebook page asking about what we do when people don’t pay money they owe.

    Technically, I don’t feel I ‘owe’ them anything as any contribution would be wholly voluntary, but if they are going to cause problems for me at work, I’m going to be less inclined to give them anything and it’s going to cause issues down the line I feel.
    If the facebook nonsense continues and is specific about you I would consider that harassment. Explain the situation to your employer and co workers and ignore it.


    Legally, he could pursue you for costs but as you offered an unspecified amount "when you can afford it" as a voluntary contribution he's unlikely to get anything.


    He must have arranged for the fence to be fitted before speaking to you for it to be put in place the following day then decided as its between both gardens you should pay half. If its his fence on his garden you owe him nothing.
    I'm not a cat.
  • edited 1 September 2018 at 9:56AM
    moneyistooshorttomentionmoneyistooshorttomention
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    edited 1 September 2018 at 9:56AM
    pinkshoes wrote: »
    I would write him a letter saying that you stated that you might be willing to contribute when you could afford it.

    Say that unfortunately, as he failed to discuss costs and fence types with you, and has selected something you would not have chosen, then you are not willing to contribute to this particular fence, but should he wish to change the style and get some quotes, then you might be interested in contributing.

    Is it an ugly fence???

    The OP actually said he "WOULD be willing to contribute" and not "MIGHT be willing to contribute".

    The time for OP to discuss what style the fence would be in was during that conversation - and therefore he has "missed the boat" on discussing that and left the style in the neighbours hands to choose.

    The one point where the neighbour was at fault was that "the fence was put up the following day" point - ie the neighbour had made the style decisions already and not given OP the chance for their 50% of the input on that decision. Not something I would have done myself - and, in similar circumstances here, I told the neighbours in advance/requested the access I would need from them for it and I made all the style decisions - but paid all the cost (so they got fortunate in not being asked for any of the money by me). I didn't request any payment towards it - because I had made all the style decisions on my own. But - don't forget - the reason/one of the reasons for this fence is to keep OP's dogs in....and, in my own case, it was being done basically for my benefit and not someone else's (as is the case here).

    There is the possibility that, if OP had turned round during the conversation and said "Okay. 50% - subject to the style I want being x" that the tradespeople hadnt got it "set in stone" at that point as to what the style would be and could have amended the style if OP had said they wanted a different style.
  • rach_krach_k Forumite
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    I think 50% is reasonable for a shared fence if you had been allowed to have a say in choosing the fence and deciding when it was done. As you weren't, I would get a price for a fence you could afford 50% of now or within a reasonable time frame (say, 3 months if the old fence was falling down, or a year if it was just a bit rickety or ugly) and offer him half of the cost within that reasonable timeframe. If he doesn't accept it, tell him you're sorry but he can have the fence for himself.

    When we wanted new fences, one neighbour didn't want to contribute but was happy for us to replace the old one and fully own the new. Neighbours on the other side were happy to pay 50% of the quote and share the fence, but couldn't pay straight away. As we wanted it done right away, we said to pay when they could. It was around a year when they paid but we had a full year of a nice fence so we were happy. To expect payment for a fence they weren't happy with the cost of, or for them to pay on a timescale we decided, would just have been wrong.
  • sevenhillssevenhills Forumite
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    Davesnave wrote: »
    Not really correct. The OP offered to contribute, but didn't specify how much or when. They then received a request for £368, which the neighbour deemed to be their share of the cost.


    The OPs offer is so vauge that there is no contract.
  • edited 1 September 2018 at 11:28AM
    DavesnaveDavesnave Forumite
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    edited 1 September 2018 at 11:28AM
    sevenhills wrote: »
    The OPs offer is so vauge that there is no contract.
    I was replying to _shel, who said:

    _shel wrote: »
    Tell him it was his choice to replace the fence with no discussion or agreement from you to contribute. So you won't be paying.


    I didn't mention the word contract, because there is none that could be enforced, but there was some kind of discussion and agreement, which was very vague.


    I think most people feel the OP could walk away from this, but the question is whether they should accept some level of responsibility and acknowlege they have gained something from the fence being replaced . However, none of us knows exactly where the fence was placed relative to the boundary and what the condition of the previous fence was like.
  • fezsterfezster Forumite
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    OP - there is no contract here, so the only dilemma is a moral one. Only you know how the conversation played out with the neighbour.

    From what you have told us, I read it as the neighbour being a little cheeky to ask for 50% on a fence he was probably already putting up a week later and despite you having said "when you could afford it", which to my mind is basically a "not at the moment" statement. However, others have interpreted what you wrote differently.

    It is up to you to decide now if you think you owe the neighbour anything. The facebook posts etc only seem to confirm my suspicion that the neighbour is being a bully in this instance. But that's just my opinion.
  • edited 1 September 2018 at 12:25PM
    moneyistooshorttomentionmoneyistooshorttomention
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    edited 1 September 2018 at 12:25PM
    I would interpret the neighbour's actions as being more "frustration", than "bullying".
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